Episode 12: Futures

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. If you need to chat, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I feel like I’ve barely been getting a break this week! I don’t think I’ve had a session off at my practice, and I’ve been fielding so many interviews, and of course there have been so many emails and well-wishes from all over the world, and sometimes I feel like I’ve not had time for myself for a while. But! I’m still glad to have a chance to chat with everyone, so let’s get right into it, and open up the calls!

You’re on the air with Dr. Seabrooke, what’s up?

ALICE: Yes, this is Alice. Hi there.

SEABROOKE: What can I help you with Alice?

ALICE: It’s-- about my partner. They... Do you know much about the all-seeing?

SEABROOKE: Ah, the all seeing- long humanoid bodies and an ever swirling crystal ball skull? Don’t talk, but communicate with images in the crystal, or telepathically.

ALICE: Yeah, exactly.

SEABROOKE: Poorly named, as they don’t officially see all but instead see the future they’re focusing on.

ALICE: Yeah. That actually gets us into a lot of trouble. Lots of people want to see their future. And all-seeing - they’re rare. We can’t go anywhere without being mobbed by curious people. [laughs slightly]

SEABROOKE: I’m sorry to hear that. I imagine that must be quite difficult for you.

ALICE: It is. But- that’s not the reason why I’m calling. Claire- that’s my partner- they have a... bad habit.

SEABROOKE: A bad habit?

ALICE: Yeah. This might seem silly but… we can’t fight.

SEABROOKE: That doesn’t sound like a big problem, can you elaborate?

ALICE: Claire... doesn’t let us argue. They just focuses on the future of the fight whenever we disagree on something, and tells me what they knows I want to hear.

SEABROOKE: Hmm, that sounds frustrating.

ALICE: It is! I don’t want to fight, but I don’t want to feel like they’re not actually listening.

SEABROOKE: It can be very difficult when we feel unheard by our partner. Alice, is Claire about?

ALICE: No, they’re working tonight.

SEABROOKE: Okay. Alice, you need to tell Claire that tension is normal. But the goal of tension isn’t to stop it, but to see where it’s coming from, and to work with it from there.

ALICE: Okay... Tensions okay.

[Background SFX: Pen scratching on paper.]

SEABROOKE: It’s better for you both if you can engage and talk things out, even when it’s uncomfortable. Has Claire’s predictions ever been wrong?

ALICE: Very rarely.

SEABROOKE: Then it might be worth mentioning to Claire you’re frustrated by not getting to engage in these conversations, as you feel it’s already mapped out to them.

[Background SFX: Pen scratching on paper.]

ALICE: But- what if they want to use their powers? I know it makes them comfortable, and I don’t want to deny their agency.

SEABROOKE: Then they can use them, but they should also be willing to talk that over with you. It’s your future too, you should get a choice in how you want to shape it. And that you want to shape it with Claire.

ALICE: Thank you so much. I didn’t know how to phrase any of this.

SEABROOKE: That’s what I’m here for Alice. Just be sure to reassure Claire that it IS really lovely of them to want to make you feel happy, even if it’s a little misguided.

ALICE: [laughs] They can be a little forgetful of us mere ‘present sighters’. [chuckles slightly]

SEABROOKE: I’m going to have to wrap this up Alice, I hope this helps!

ALICE: It really does! Thank you so much. Have a good night.

SEABROOKE: You too, Alice, thanks for the call.

Here’s the thing - conflict can be a scary thing, but if you are in conflict with your partner, that often means you need to communicate. Knowing how to resolve the conflict doesn’t mean the conflict doesn’t need to happen.

Let’s move on to our next caller, You’re on the air, how can I help?

BRIONY: Hi Doctor S. My name is Briony, and I’m calling in today I guess because we’ve been having some problems, my partner and I.

SEABROOKE: Well, that’s what I’m here for Briony! How can I help?

BRIONY: Well, we’ve been dating for three years. And Susie wants to move in together.

[Pause]

SEABROOKE: ...and you’re not ready?

BRIONY: It’s only been three years!

[Pause]

SEABROOKE: Oh I see. You’re a--

BRIONY: -- a dryad, yes.

SEABROOKE: And Susie is a human?

BRIONY: Yes. She’s the first human that I’ve dated, and I really really love her.

SEABROOKE: That’s lovely.. So, how are you feeling right now, Briony?

BRIONY: I feel extremely uncomfortable. I-I love Susie, I do, but it hasn’t been very long. I need time to adjust.

SEABROOKE: How do you think Susie feels?

BRIONY: I think she’s very hurt. It’s not that I don’t want to live with her, but I just don’t think I’m ready. I’m only fifty-three!

SEABROOKE: Has Susie told you that this is quite a normal timeframe for humans? Three years in a relationship with someone is a long time to us.

BRIONY: She has said that, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.

SEABROOKE: Can you see how she feels?

BRIONY: I mean, like I said, I don’t understand, but I can see that she’s hurt. I wish this was easier. I wish I could be okay with this.

SEABROOKE: This is something that dryads and other beings who live long lives deal with when dating humans a lot. If you want this to keep working, you’re going to have to put in some effort, but so does Susie, don’t forget. You don’t have to bend to her wants, obviously. If you’re not okay with this, Briony, you should listen to that feeling.

BRIONY: I wish we weren't incompatible.

SEABROOKE: Do you really think you’re incompatible?

BRIONY: Not as people! But maybe with the age differences.

SEABROOKE: I’ve seen this kind of thing work before, many times. People find ways where everyone is comfortable.You obviously have a loving relationship, Briony. I’m sure you and Susie can find a way forward. It also may be more useful to you think about what the best-case scenario would be like.

BRIONY: I’ve tried to think of a way forward, but I just can’t!

SEABROOKE: Do you stay at her house overnight a lot, or does she come to yours?

BRIONY: Yeah, a couple of nights a week.

SEABROOKE: What if you spent a few nights in a row together, perhaps on a small holiday? Susie wants to build a life with you but ultimately, you’re not ready and she has to respect that. Perhaps by spending more time with her, even just a few days at a time.

BRIONY: So I just... ease myself into it?

SEABROOKE: Precisely. You can see how you work when you’re together for days at a time, how your relationship changes, and how you react to one another.

BRIONY: What if it doesn’t work?

SEABROOKE: It’s easiest to focus on trying little steps at first. You don’t have to move in tomorrow, but you can start the conversation of how you’re both going to move forward with this. If something does fail, talk with Susie about it. There will be a way you both can be happy. Maybe you can ask Susie what she imagines your life together might be like, and start thinking about how you envisage your future, and tell Susie about it. And of course you can always call me back here.

BRIONY: Hm. Okay. I am a bit scared.

SEABROOKE: It’s okay to be scared. And the first step isn’t trying -anything new, it’s just talking to Susie about what you can try. Does that sound okay?

BRIONY: Yeah. Okay, yeah. Thanks, Dr S.

SEABROOKE: Anytime. Good luck!

I keep saying it - there’s no difference between people so great that a relationship can’t work, if that’s what both people want. It’s... I-I want people to remember that. Really. I think it’s time for a break, this is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll be back shortly.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! You’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke.

ARTERR: Hi, my name is Arterr.

SEABROOKE: How are you, Arterr?

ARTERR: I’m fine. Thanks for taking my call.

SEABROOKE: You’re welcome, but straight off I’m going to point out that people usually aren’t fine when they say they’re fine like that.

ARTERR: Sorry Dr Seabrooke. I’m just... [deep sigh] Its taken a lot for me to make this call and I don’t know why I’m feeling so upset all of a sudden.

SEABROOKE: That’s understandable. Its a brave thing to call in and talk.

ARTERR: I don’t feel brave.

SEABROOKE: Maybe we should get to what is troubling you, and then you can decide for yourself later. What’s going on?

ARTERR: I’m just... I’m fucking pissed off at the world to be honest. Or the universe. Or statistics or... I don’t know.

SEABROOKE: I--

ARTERR: I’m just angry, and I’m struggling with it.

SEABROOKE: What are you angry about?

ARTERR: Sorry for swearing.

SEABROOKE: It’s okay. We’re on late.

ARTERR: I keep going in a circle. I’m single. That’s fine. I don’t have sex often, and for a long time it hasn’t been worth it. That’s fine. I’m more than both those things.

SEABROOKE: I’m listening.

ARTERR: I feel... incomplete. Somehow.

SEABROOKE: You feel the pressure to be in a relationship?

ARTERR: No. Not really.

SEABROOKE: Okay?

ARTERR: I don’t buy into all that mainstream media nonsense. I know I don’t need another person to complete me. I don’t need sex.

SEABROOKE: It’s not about need, but if you want these things that’s healthy as well.

ARTERR: Well that’s it. I want the sex. The idea of a relationship I’m not so enamoured with, but I want sex and not having decent sex for this long makes me feel like a failure. Like I’m failing somehow. Should I just give up?

SEABROOKE: Give up sex?

ARTERR: Give up that part of my identity.

SEABROOKE: No, Arterr. Not at all.

ARTERR: Sorry, but that’s basically what a colleague suggested today.

SEABROOKE: They told you to do that?

ARTERR: Not in so many words. We were discussing the plan to send an explorer to Mars using the new projector.

SEABROOKE: What do you do?

ARTERR: I’m an astral physicist.

SEABROOKE: A rare profession. A lot of pressure as well.

ARTERR: It’s fine. Really the only one on the planet that can do what I do.

SEABROOKE: And someone is sending someone to Mars?

ARTERR: They’ll be alone on that planet for 2 years. My colleague pointed out the lack of options for sexual partners.

SEABROOKE: And that was important to them?

ARTERR: Very. He said he couldn’t imagine anything worse.

SEABROOKE: How did you feel?

ARTERR: Fine. He didn’t mean anything by it. It just made me think.

SEABROOKE: But, you mentioned earlier being angry at the world, universe, statistics...

ARTERR: [frustrated sigh] I am I guess. Without trying to sound too dramatic about it.

SEABROOKE: And why is that?

ARTERR: Firstly, I’m a unicorn. I don’t even know what the statistics are anymore, but there aren’t enough zeros in the world to get to the decimal place we inhabit as a percentage of the population.

SEABROOKE: I see. Are you only attracted to other unicorns?

ARTERR: No, but... I don’t want to sound judgemental, but I have standards.

SEABROOKE: Go on.

ARTERR: I want someone who is a good communicator, knows themselves and what they want, or at least knows how to constructively look for it.

SEABROOKE: Those are perfectly reasonable expectations.

ARTERR: I know. I don’t know why they don’t teach this sort of thing somewhere.

SEABROOKE: That’s a good point, but a whole other conversation. Right now we’re talking about you.

ARTERR: [sigh] Maybe I just needed a good whinge.

SEABROOKE: And that’s a good thing too.

ARTERR: I know my expectations limit my options, and that’s a good thing.

SEABROOKE: And maybe there’s an opportunity to indulge?

ARTERR: What do you mean?

SEABROOKE: Can I ask if you’re taking some time out for self love?

ARTERR: Masturbate? [laughs]

SEABROOKE: [laughs] Amongst other things, but yes.

ARTERR: Well, yes. Just to... alleviate the symptoms.

SEABROOKE: Perhaps you could do more than that. It’s also a part of your sexuality, and maybe there’s an opportunity there.

ARTERR: What do you mean?

SEABROOKE: Take your time. Treat yourself to something special.

ARTERR: I suppose I could.

SEABROOKE: If there’s anything your curious about, perhaps you could do a little solo exploration of that as well.

ARTERR: I’m not sure I’m comfortable getting into too much detail about that in a public forum.

SEABROOKE: Completely understandable, but its just an idea. That might also be one way of meeting similar people as well.

ARTERR: Really?

SEABROOKE: Well, there are some sex educators and activists that have worked hard to build good fetish communities around negotiation and consent.

ARTERR: Are sex workshops a thing?

SEABROOKE: Absolutely. For emotional safety as well as physical. They can also be a great way of meeting like-minded people. Do you have any friends you can talk to about this? [pause] Arterr, are you ok?

ARTERR: I’m fine.

SEABROOKE: There’s that word again.

ARTERR: No. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this. I’m the strong one in my friendship circle. The one they come to for support. I like that, so I don’t want to burden them with this.

SEABROOKE: Even though you should?

ARTERR: Even though I should.

SEABROOKE: I think we’ve stumbled on a wider issue here, Arterr.

ARTERR: Its not the lack of sex that’s the problem. Its the lack of connection.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like you’re already isolated by difference, you have a job with few peers, and things are pretty one-sided with your friends. That sounds...

ARTERR: Lonely.

SEABROOKE: Yes.

ARTERR: You’re speaking from experience.

[Pause.]

SEABROOKE: I...

ARTERR: Sorry.

SEABROOKE: It’s ok.

ARTERR: No, I don’t know you, that was out of line.

SEABROOKE: Thank you for saying that Arterr, but it's fine.

ARTERR: Ah, the f word again. [laughs]

SEABROOKE: [laughs] I do feel like we made some progress though. Maybe we should leave it there.

ARTERR: Agreed. I think I already knew the truth, but I needed to hear it from someone else.

SEABROOKE: Give your friends a chance to help you. You’ll probably be surprised.

ARTERR: I will do. Thanks.

SEABROOKE: Take care, Arterr, thanks for the call. That was, um, I… think we need to end it there for tonight.

[MUSIC: Theme music fades in]

SEABROOKE: Thanks to our callers, thanks to Shannon. This was Supernatural Sexuality. I-I’ll see you next time.

[Background SFX: Seabrooke rises up and leaves loudly. A door opens and shuts.]

[MUSIC: Theme music plays for a while in the silence, until the guitar riff plays]

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Alice was voiced by Evana Ho, with the call written by Sav Emmett-Wolf.

Briony was voiced by Emma Laslett, with the call written by Alison Evans.

Arterr was voiced by Nick Helmer, with the call written by Alexander Swords.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

We’d like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the stolen lands this show was produced on, the Boon Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation, and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging. We would also like to pay our respects to the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation, whose lands much of this show was recorded on. Sovereignty was never ceded, and Australia was, and always will be, Aboriginal Land.

This concludes the first Season of Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke. I’d like to thank everyone who has been a part of this show this year, from Erin Kyan, my co-producer and director, to our writers, to all of our callers, and especially our Dr Seabrooke, Mama Boho. This show has been a massive undertaking, and we’d like to thank everyone who has helped make this possible. We’d also  like to thank everyone who has listened to the show, discussed the show on social media, supported us on Patreon, or told their friends. You can look forward to more Supernatural Sexuality in 2021. We hope you found something in our show this season, we hope your relationships find their way, and we'll see you next season.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, an young elf mage searches the galaxy for a mysterious artifact on Mythos! Find out more about this great show at mythostheseries.com!

[MUSIC: Music continues, until the final beat, instead of the usual fade out]

Episode 11: Not In A Sexy Way

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. Around Australia, your toll-free number is 1800 975 711, and our international callers can always contact us via our Geistline, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I’ve got to admit, the Death and Relationships conference last week was such a fun time, but god, am I happy to be back in the studio. I was not expecting such big crowds! I ended up having to schedule two other Meet and Greet sessions that weekend to keep up with the demand! I saw so many people who have gotten so much from this show, it’s certainly given me a new perspective on how my work helps people!

Speaking of which, I think it’s time to get to this week’s calls! We’ve got our first caller up, you’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke, go ahead!

AVERY: Hi Dr Seabrooke, my name's Avery, I need some advice

SEABROOKE: That’s what I’m here for Avery, what’s the issue?

AVERY: Well, I’ve been dating this woman for a few months, mostly long-distance, and it’s been going really well! And we’ve decided that we’re going to meet up in person, soon, at her place.

SEABROOKE: That sounds so good to hear! Sounds like you two are doing well, so why the call today?

AVERY: Well, the thing is, she’s a Gorgon.

SEABROOKE: Ah. I’d guess that’s the reason for the long distance.

AVERY: Yeah, she lives in a really remote place. Mostly gets things delivered online these days, and photos and video of Gorgons don’t petrify people, so she has a really active social life online, especially with me! But… we do want to meet up, at her place, obviously--

SEABROOKE: Obviously.

AVERY: So, I’m just wanting to get some advice on how we can interact with each other in person without getting hurt?

SEABROOKE: Well, first up, that’s a really good attitude, wanting to have plans in place to mitigate the risks. I’m glad you’ve called tonight.

AVERY: Thank you!

SEABROOKE: So, the good news is that, as you pointed out, Gorgon petrification only happens with direct eye contact, so avoiding that eye contact is the best way to keep you safe. You can work to just keep your eyes down, but if she has mirrors in the house, you can always communicate visually through those, although that’s risky - it can be very easy to forget and turn around, and need a sudden awkward hospital visit.

AVERY: Yeah, that’s a good point.

SEABROOKE: A safer option is to work with blindfolds - it’s a lot safer because you certainly can’t forget to use them when they’re right on your face. So if you’re willing to be blindfolded the whole time you’re there, that’s an easy option.

AVERY: But then I don’t get to see her, you know?

SEABROOKE: That is a big drawback, very true, but when it comes to safety, it’s one of the most effective, and cheap, options. If you do have some money spare, there are some special goggles that you can get these days. They have digital screens in them, linked to a camera, so you can see everything second-hand. They’re pretty light-weight these days, not much bigger than a mobile phone. Just make sure you charge them each night you’re there!

AVERY: Huh, I’ve never heard of that before!

SEABROOKE: They’re a pretty recent invention, but they are out there! If you go this route, or any other route, honestly, the other important issue I want you to remember is to be a little careful during sex, if that’s your plan - The goggles are great, but if they get knocked off, again, very awkward visit to the hospital to de-petrify you!

AVERY: Oh-oh. Yeah, [laughs lightly] that would be very awkward!

SEABROOKE: Indeed! And I’d absolutely recommend a backup blindfold anyway, at least for sleep and such. Also, there are a lot of fun games you can play with blindfolds! A lot of couples use blindfolds as a way of heightening other senses during sex, and there’s no reason why you can’t have some fun with your protective gear! If you need it, why not use it, you know?

AVERY: Yeah, I can see how that could work!

SEABROOKE: Excellent. So does that help you out?

AVERY: Yeah, it does, actually. Sounds like I should go shopping pretty soon.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like. Well, I hope you and your Gorgon-friend have an excellent and safe time! Thanks for the call.

I love when people think ahead on these sorts of things. A little bit of knowledge can save so much trouble in the long run, so it’s always good to do a little research!

Now, our next caller, Chava, is on the line! Shannon tells me that they’re using a text to speech device, so bear with us as we make sure that they have enough time to type out their answers. Chava, go ahead and tell me about your issue.

CHAVA:[SFX: Keyboard typing] [Robotic text-to-speech voice] Thanks Dr Seabrooke. Could you please not use imperatives?

SEABROOKE: Imperatives?

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] Just now you said, “tell me about your issue.” It’s phrased kind of like a command. I’m very susceptible to commands. Of course, I called in because I want to tell you about the problem. I’m happy to tell you about the problem, I want your help but later you might give me advice, and if you say it to me like an order it gets really hard for me to disobey.

SEABROOKE: Ah, sure! Of course! I’ll keep that in mind. Pull me up if I phrase things as imperatives again.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] I’m afraid you just did it again. Sorry to be a pain!

SEABROOKE: So I did! Hah, I’ll keep a closer ear out for that. Now I can’t help wondering whether this is related to your issue.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] It is. You see, I’m a golem. Hence the typing.

SEABROOKE: Ah, of course! During my studies in Germany, I met a few golems who didn’t speak using their mouths. I don’t want to drag you too far off topic explaining the basics, but for our listeners who may not be aware, my understanding is that many golems are created without the capacity for verbal speech.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] That’s right Doctor. Some of our creators didn’t see the need to let us talk. Lots of us were originally created to work, or to protect, or to serve someone else’s needs. That was a long time ago for me, but it has to do with my problem.

SEABROOKE: Go on – er, sorry, I mean, I’m curious to know more.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] I met this human, and we’ve started going out. It’s been wonderful, but confusing.

SEABROOKE: How so?

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] They say the nicest things about me. They’re hard to believe, but I’m trying. Or at least I’m considering them. Like I said, I’m very malleable.  It’s hard to know how to take a compliment when you can feel it shaping you.

SEABROOKE: Sounds like there are some identity issues going on.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] Oh boy, absolutely. But also, my partner likes me and wants to be good to me. And that’s great, but it’s actually the biggest problem.

SEABROOKE: Mm. It can be hard to enjoy receiving when we’ve got a long history of being expected to just give, right?

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] Definitely part of it, but I’m getting better at that. Hang on, I typed out the explanation in advance, let me just load it up. [Background SFX: A mouse clicks twice.]

One of the hard parts about being a free golem is that golems are created to serve – sometimes even to serve a lofty goal, but not a lofty goal that we choose. That makes it hard for us to know what we want. I’ve done work I’m really proud of because of what I was made to do, but it’s complicated, and in my personal life, it’s easy to default to just following typical rules or pleasing others. My partner is really good at not pressuring me and not taking advantage of how much I want to please them. They want to please me too. But I don’t know what I like or what I want. Everything – hobbies, choosing a restaurant, even the physical side of things – it all feels like I’m constantly having to make decisions, and I don’t know where my preferences come from or how to hear them. Sometimes I second-guess everything, or just ask them to choose, just to get it out of the way. Sometimes choice feels impossible. I just want to know how to tell what I want.

SEABROOKE: Chava, what you’re describing is a classic struggle for beings who haven’t always been free, or who find it hard to get in touch with their desires. It’s wonderful that you’re in a good place to experiment, with choice and control and someone supportive in your corner, but you’ve explained beautifully how a supportive person isn’t always enough, especially when you’re second - guessing yourself. I have an idea – I’m going to take a second to think, so I can be careful to avoid instructions when I say this.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] Thank you. You’d be amazed how hard it is for some people.

SEABROOKE: I’m actually remembering that one of my family therapy instructors taught me to use exactly that kind of phrasing with shy or reluctant clients! Just goes to show, you never stop learning. Anyway... I think it could help to stop trying to figure out exactly what you want before you ask for it. You’re looking for certainty, and I think you may want to try focusing on curiosity instead. Approach – I mean, you could try approaching desires like a scientist, or like a child. It’s like, when we’re very young and first exploring the world, we try a bit of everything, and our focus is on learning and sensation. We aren’t looking to be sure, we’re just looking. Do you have some time alone coming up?

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] I do.

SEABROOKE: Okay, perfect! One thing you could do is to sit and think up lots of lists – lists of food, lists of outdoor activities, games, conversation topics, even sex acts, and see which ideas sparks curiosity. You wouldn’t have to feel sure that you want anything on any list, only that it feels interesting and not actively upsetting. Then, you could try those things out, alone or with your partner or with someone else, and just see what you notice, all the details and feelings, without pressing yourself to make a final judgment. You can stop any of them any time, or try variations if something sparks good feelings. How does that sound?

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] That makes a lot of sense. It sounds a lot less stressful than freaking out in front of my partner’s family about whether I really like chicken soup or I just think I ought to like chicken soup.

SEABROOKE: Oof, that sounds tough. It can take a while to decide on our tastes. A lot of us are less sure than we admit! It’s all about discovery, not about being sure. Good luck, Chava! I hope this helps.

CHAVA: [Background SFX: Keyboard typing] Me too! Thanks Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call.

It can be difficult, not just for golems, to know what it is you really want. Chava is absolutely doing the right thing here, working to find out what that means for them. Often the only way to find out what you want is to try enough things to learn, so don’t be afraid to experiment a little, if that’s what you need.

This is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, time for a quick ad break, see you when we return.

[AD BREAK]

Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! You’re on the air with Doctor Seabrooke, how can I help?

AVA: Hi, Dr Seabrooke, my name is Ava, thank you for taking my call. I’m, uh, not bad, but not great.

SEABROOKE: I guess you wouldn’t be on my line if everything was great, Ava.

AVA: [small laugh] Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

SEABROOKE: What can I help you with today, Ava?

AVA: I think I’m in love with my best friend. She’s the most radiant person I’ve ever met. Like, like when she smiles it lights up the whole world.

SEABROOKE: Oh, how lovely! And does she know?

AVA: No! Of course not! [exhales] And that’s not the whole problem, Doctor. She’s a human, but I’m a vampire. And I’m asexual. I’m double weird here.

SEABROOKE: Now now, Ava, you’re very far from weird. I’ve seen plenty of happy and healthy human-vampire relationships, and asexual has never meant unloveable. Don’t count yourself out so easy.

AVA: There’s actually one other thing...

SEABROOKE: Go on.

AVA: So, like, she smells really good. I feel like that guy in those vampire romance books, because she smells sooo good and I really want to... taste her blood. But not in a sexual way! It’s not a sexy thing! But I also have a crush on her. It’s really confusing.

SEABROOKE: I can certainly imagine. Blood-drinking has definitely been sexualized in popular media, so it’s no wonder you’re feeling so confused about that urge conflicting with your sexuality.

AVA: Yeah. I’d love to drink her blood, but in a platonic way? Or— or not platonically, but not sexually. And definitely not to kill or turn her! [distressed sigh] I hate stereotypes.

SEABROOKE: Do you think your blood-drinking desires are linked to you wanting to be close and intimate with your crush in a non-sexual, yet intimate way?

AVA: [sighs] Probably. I haven’t really thought about it beyond screaming internally a whole lot.

SEABROOKE: Well, let’s see if we can make any telepaths you meet a little more comfortable, shall we? Have you talked to her about any of this?

AVA: No! How-how would I even go about that? “Hey, I want to suck your blood, but not in a sexy way. By the way, wanna get dinner?”

SEABROOKE: Well, maybe not exactly like that. But you’re not far off. You may be ace, but you’re not aromantic, correct?

AVA: I... think so. Yeah.

SEABROOKE: You can very much still have strong romantic feelings for others, you know. That doesn’t need to conflict with your asexuality. Despite what modern culture would tell you, sex and love aren’t inherently linked.

AVA: I guess...

SEABROOKE: Blood-drinking may have become sexualized by many, but it doesn’t mean every vampire views it that way. It’s about food, comfort, pleasure, whatever you want. You can decide what it means for you.

AVA: I wish more people thought like you, Doctor.

SEABROOKE: Are you worried your best friend doesn’t? She clearly has no problem with vampires if you two are so close.

AVA: But what if she actually does? What if she says no and then never talks to me again?

SEABROOKE: Ava, that’s the anxiety we all face when revealing our feelings to someone we care about. I’m sure she cares about you a great deal, and if she does secretly hate vampires, wouldn’t you rather know?

My point is, you shouldn’t let your fear stop you from being honest with the people you love. You are much more normal than you realise.

AVA: Thanks, I actually really needed to hear that.

SEABROOKE: Of course. We all do, sometimes.

AVA: I think I’m gonna tell her. You’re right, I can’t keep letting my anxiety get in my way!

SEABROOKE: Remember to explain your feelings clearly and I know you’ll do fine.

AVA: Thank you, Doctor.

SEABROOKE: Thank you, Ava. I wish you all the best, and thanks for the call!

I think it’s good to repeat it, relationships aren’t just about sex - relationships are about what is meaningful to you. Not everyone has a sex drive, but everyone has the right to be in a relationship, if that’s what they want.

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Avery, Chava, and Ava for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. See you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was written by Lee-Davis Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Avery was voiced by Rowan Quinn, with the call written by Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

Chava was voiced by Speech2Go Online's Raveena voice, with the call written by Hannah Aroni.

And Ava was voiced by Rory Eggleston with the call written by Saf Davidson.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon!

If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, enjoy the wacky tales of Farloria’s House of Healing, in Alba Salix, Royal Physician! Find out more about this great show at albasalix.com!

[MUSIC: Theme finishes]

Episode 10: Changing Portraits

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, This is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. As always, if you have a problem and you’d like help with it, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I’ve got some good news for our listeners! This week, I’m going to be a keynote speaker for the Death and Relationships conference down in Sydney! I’m going to be hanging around a lot at the conference, and I’ll even be doing a meet and greet in the trade hall, so if you’re in the area, come have a visit! I’d love to see some of you there!

But enough about the future! Let’s get to your calls! You’re on the air, go ahead.

ALFORD: [Deep, gravelly voice] Greetings Olivia Seabrooke. I am glad to have made connection.

SEABROOKE: Thank you for calling in. So how would you like to be addressed tonight?

ALFORD: I have no moniker, no name, but for convenience perhaps Alford.

SEABROOKE: Alford it is. What’s on your mind this evening Alford?

ALFORD: I am a Genius Loci...of sorts. A spirit guardian born from a location. I am not sure you would have dealt with my kind before as we are more inclined of the solitary lifestyle. We don’t... breed. As such. Many are born, work, and fade away without meeting others.

SEABROOKE: Well, I take it since you are calling me, that this is not the case with you.

ALFORD: Indeed. I am quite infatuated with a human woman, she is a history tour guide at the Alford estate and obviously the ancient stones brought from my homeland that lie within the walls are a part of her usual script.

The way she speaks about the ruins, my home... she sounds so respectful. Wistful. Curious. I can’t help but listen in to her each time she speaks of them. The stones, and thus the estate is my home, and are a part of me in a way. I know that doesn’t mean anything is implied in her words, but... more and more, I will sit by her when she takes her breaks. I want to talk to her. It feels dishonest watching without being seen.

SEABROOKE: Do you have an idea what's holding you back from speaking with her?

ALFORD: My appearance is.... daunting to humans. A large ursine body, serpents as prehensile tails, and a face and jaw that is clearly a carnivore used to large prey... very useful for chasing off looters back when the castle was whole... but quite poor for approaching smaller creatures asking for compliance to rules such as ‘no photography’. It is my believe that this flaw would carry over to a request for companionship.

SEABROOKE: I can see that would be a concern. Perhaps writing a letter to her, to introduce yourself before your first appearance could be a gentler approach? I'm sure she'd be delighted to meet someone as invested in her work and interests as she is, and a small introduction may avoid the usual ‘fight or flight’ response that we're so used to encountering when dealing with larger supernatural species. You are well spoken and articulate, if you can transfer that to a soft introductory letter, I imagine that would make a great start.

ALFORD: ... yes?

SEABROOKE: You seem hesitant?

ALFORD: I am.... hesitant... as I know she was sexually active in her last relationship... I did not mean to overhear her conversation on the topic.... but I can not leave the stones...and so I hear what is discussed on the ground....

SEABROOKE: That’s ok, we sometimes overhear things. Go on.

ALFORD: Well, she is sexual. I am not. I am happy to do whatever pleases her... but she may find me lacking in...phallus or similar appendage.

SEABROOKE: Oh! Well, yes. That is something that you will have to discuss with her, she may be content with a relationship without sex. If she wants to explore sex with you and you want to please her, appendages of all types are easily bought from any good sex store. If things become sexual there are many options for pleasure other than penetration, not just in her case, but in your case too. You may not be sexually driven, but perhaps there is something tactile she can enjoy with you?

ALFORD: ....I must admit, I like my abdomen to be agitated by hand.

SEABROOKE: .... you mean you like belly scritches?

ALFORD: Indeed.

SEABROOKE: Well that sounds ideal! Communicating what brings you pleasure will help her feel she can give back to you in a way that brings you closer, sexual or not.

ALFORD: You have given me much to consider, and sparked hope for me. Thank you kindly, Olivia Seabrooke. May your lands be blessed, and your crops bountiful.

SEABROOKE: Thank you, Alford for the blessing and the call.

This is what I love - even between two such different people there’s always some point of connection. Remember, you get to build your own relationship - don’t worry too much about what you think should happen, or what you think you need to do, work instead to find what sort of relationship you need and want, and find a way to make that happen.

Now, we’ve got our next caller on the line, you’re on the air, go ahead.

KAREN: Hi Doctor Seabrooke, my name's Karen.

SEABROOKE: Hey there, Karen! Welcome to the show. What dilemma can I help you with today?

KAREN: [heavy, dramatic sigh] It’s about my ex.

SEABROOKE: Oh?

KAREN: We’re having a sort of...housing problem.

SEABROOKE: Hmm, figuring out living relationships after a breakup can be really tough.

KAREN: She’s being so unreasonable! Ugh, I should have seen this coming, it’s just typical.

SEABROOKE: Ok, let’s back up a bit. Tell me a bit more about the problem as you see it.

KAREN: Oh, of course, of course, right. So I moved into my gorgeous new house about a year ago – well, I say new, but really it was quite a lovely old place, great vintage wallpaper, old fashioned chandelier, staircases with the most amazing carved wooden bannisters. In retrospect, I should have figured it out before the sale went through, but you know what the Melbourne property market is like – you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth!

SEABROOKE: And you moved in along with your now-ex?

KAREN: Oh, no, my ex was already living there. Well, of course, she wasn’t my ex then. She was haunting the place, had been for decades, but no one told me that when I moved in. No wonder it was so affordable.

Anyway, once we were past the initial getting-to-know-you stage, and she’d moved on from coyly switching the lights on and off to having actual conversations, she turned out to be pretty great company, and, you know, things just sort of happened. It was kind of a relief at the time. It certainly beats dating, and we both like our nights in. I thought we had so much in common.

SEABROOKE: But now things have turned sour?

KAREN: Well, I mean, she’s just so stubborn! It’s unbearable! We never seem to be able to compromise on anything. And she’s terribly old-fashioned, which I suppose makes sense, but still. So we broke up. But now she won’t leave!

SEABROOKE: She won’t leave...the house, you mean?

KAREN: Exactly! And it’s such a beautiful place, I just can’t bear to part with it, but she insists she was there first, she goes on and on about how it’s the physical manifestation of all her ties to the mortal plane and it’s literally impossible for her to vacate, which, honestly, do you see what I mean about her inflexibility? But I did buy the place, and I just don’t see why I should have to be the one to leave!

SEABROOKE: It can be so hard to figure out how to move on, both for the dead and for the living. In this case– well, it sounds like one thing you and your ex have in common is an understanding of the importance of place. For you, there’s a lot invested in this house – you love its beauty, and there’s always the expense of moving too. But your ex actually has no choice about her ties to the house. Some ghosts find their afterlife can only be sustained through a connection to a particular place or object, while others roam more freely, tethered to the mortal plane by some abstract idea or goal. Similarly, some ghosts are pretty happy with their anchoring ties to the mortal plane, while others are more ambivalent and interested in moving on. So, do you know how your ex feels about her ties to the house?

KAREN: She’s – well, now that you mention it, we never really got into the subject too deeply. I – I think I’ve been thinking of it as just part of our other issues with stubbornness?

SEABROOKE: Okay. Being set in one’s ways and having trouble with change is a pretty classic challenge for many ghosts, given the nature of haunting and unfinished business, but it’s also a classic challenge for – well, everyone. Let’s start by assuming that if she can’t leave, that’s a pretty big deal, way beyond personal preference or inconvenience. Loving the house, even having bought the house, is one thing. Needing it to continue to live your afterlife is quite another thing.

KAREN: I suppose that’s true.

SEABROOKE: Karen, are you and your ex interested in amicably sharing the house?

KAREN: I can’t see that working right now. We’re being civil, but there’s so much tension.

SEABROOKE: Then you might have to think about looking for a new place to live. You don’t know whether she wants help de-anchoring her connection from the house, but even if she does, you might not be in the best position to help, since you’ve got ulterior motives. So now’s a good time to at least move out and stay elsewhere for a little while, if that’s affordable for you, while you two try to come to an arrangement – maybe using a mediator, since you struggle to compromise together.

KAREN: Yeah, I suppose it could be time to bring in an outside party. I don’t want to keep fighting and getting nowhere.

SEABROOKE: You might want to check in with a property lawyer too – I’m no expert in the legal side of this, but I’m pretty sure there are special rules for the sale of haunted houses, and it sounds like they weren’t followed here. Between mediation and some legal advice, maybe you can come up with something that benefits both of you. It can’t be fun for her to know that you could sell the house and she might be stuck with brand new, involuntary housemates.

KAREN: Yeah, I, um, don’t think I realised how much of this situation must feel out of her control.

SEABROOKE: That’s a really insightful point, Karen. Maybe acknowledging that to her will be a step on the way to seeing each other’s point of view and reaching a compromise.

KAREN: Maybe. Or maybe I just have to give her her space. I’m going to miss those bannisters though. We had some good times on that staircase. Oh well, thank you Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: No worries, and best of luck! I hope you two can work something out. Thanks for the call!

It often seems unfair when we have to be the ones to make a sacrifice, especially when you’ve invested so much, but in these types of cases, sometimes the only person who can make a change is you, and taking that hit might well lead to a happier life down the track. This is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll have more calls after the break.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! Now, Shannon tells me we have a caller all the way from London, you’re on the air, go ahead.

CYBIL: Hi, Dr. Seabrooke, my name is Cybil, I’m calling about my about my girlfriend.

SEABROOKE: I’m happy to help in any way I can, Cybil. What seems to be the problem?

CYBIL: God, where do I begin? Um, only recently she came out to me as a trans woman, and I’m over the moon for her. I want to be one thousand percent supportive, but I don’t even know where to begin.

SEABROOKE: I see. Have you spoken with your partner about her needs and what kind of support she wants?

CYBIL: Of course. That was the first conversation we had. But even she’s at a bit of a loss. There are certain... complicating factors that are keeping her from transitioning.

SEABROOKE: May I ask, what sort of complications?

CYBIL: Well, for starters she feels that three hundred and seventeen years old is too late to transition. She says she would have done it before, but wanted to wait until the grandchildren were dead.

SEABROOKE: Well that was her choice, and it’s up to us to respect that. The good news, Cybil, is that should she make the decision it’s never too late for someone to transition. They can be twenty, a hundred and twenty, or older still, and embrace the life and identity that they want.

CYBIL: Yeah…

SEABROOKE: You don’t sound optimistic.

CYBIL: It’s just that… Oh, how do I explain this?

SEABROOKE: In your own time.

CYBIL: She told me that she’s worried hormones won’t have much effect with her.

SEABROOKE: Why is that?

CYBIL: Well, You see, Dr. Seabrooke, there’s a painting.

SEABROOKE: A painting.

CYBIL: Yes. Of my girlfriend. She’s had it since she was young.

SEABROOKE: I’m not sure I understand the significance.

CYBIL: My partner doesn’t age, but the painting... the figure it portrays ages in her place.

SEABROOKE: I see.

CYBIL: What if the same principle applies to hormones? What if she takes them and her body doesn’t change? What if the painting changes instead of her, and she’s stuck?

SEABROOKE: I understand your distress, Cybil, but let’s not raise the alarm bells just yet. Together you can explore an array of diagnostic options, and conjoined medical-arcane care is available for your girlfriend. Such a task, however deserves more time than I can offer during a single phone call. I would love to refer you to a colleague and dear friend; her name is Dr. Angela Bellum, she’s an expert in transgender mysticism and a non-binary trans witch herself. She’s been helping all manner of folk in piercing the gender veil for longer than I’ve been in the field, and I am more than confident that she can help steer you and your lady love in the right direction.

CYBIL: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: If there’s anything else I can impart to you, Cybil, it’s this; not hormones, not clothes, not immortal flesh, not even cursed paintings make a woman. Who she is transcends her body, just as you or I are not the sum of ours. So long as there is care and respect I’m sure you’ll pull through.

CYBIL: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke. I’ll remember that.

SEABROOKE: I hope that helped a little, thank you so much for the call. Just to repeat again for our audience, because I think this is important - your gender is not defined by what other people see - it’s defined by you, and you alone, and no one can take that from you.

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Alford, Karen, and Cybil for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Alford was voiced by Matt Hood, with the call written by Roslyn Quin.

Karen was voiced by Celine Narinli, with the call written by Hannah Aroni.

And Cybil was voiced by Ella Whomersley, with the call written by Miranda Sparks.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, take a trip to Mount Absalom, and stay for the mystery in the midwestern Gothic, Unwell! Find out more about this great show at unwellpodcast.com!

[MUSIC: Theme finishes]

Episode 9: Distance

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, This is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. As always, if you need to chat, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

Shannon is telling me tonight that she’s very optimistic about tonight being a good episode! Which, of course, when your producer is a psychic, you tend to take that sort of feeling seriously! Honestly, I know I do keep talking about this, but Shannon stays behind the scenes, and without her, this show just could not get made with the kind of professionalism we get. So, cheers to you Shannon! I’m looking forward to seeing what makes tonight a good night!

Shall we get right to it then? Let’s get to work, You’re on the air with Dr. Seabrooke, how can I help?

DONNA: Hi, my name is Donna, I have... a conundrum, that I hope you can give me some advice on?

SEABROOKE: Of course Donna, that’s why you’re on the air! What are we trying to unravel?

DONNA: So, I guess the big question is, how far should you go to keep someone in your life? 

SEABROOKE: Hmm. That's a big question, Donna. Maybe you should start at the beginning - why is this question coming up?

DONNA: Well, um, the thing is, I’m dating a ghost, at the moment, and it’s been great! We get along so well together, things just sort of click between us. I feel so close to her, far more than I’ve ever been to anyone.

SEABROOKE: Sounds wonderful! Please, go on.

DONNA: So, ghosts always have something keeping them here, a tether, right?

SEABROOKE: Not always, but yes, that’s quite common.

DONNA: So, she tells me that the thing that’s keeping her here is working to find out what happened to her son - apparently she died a long way from home, almost 50 years ago, and couldn’t rest until she knew he was okay. It’s how we met, and how we got together - I’m a librarian, so I’ve been helping her do her research.

SEABROOKE: So I’m guessing…

DONNA: I found him. I wasn’t sure at first, but I’ve done the follow up, and I’m sure now. He’s even alive! In a retirement home, but still alive!

SEABROOKE: And you haven’t told her yet, have you?

DONNA: No.

SEABROOKE: [sigh] Donna, are you planning to tell her? [Pause] Donna?

DONNA: It’s just, if I tell her, if I show her all this, and they talk, that’s it, right? That’s the one thing keeping her here, with me, and it’s gone. That means she crosses over, and I never get to see here again, Dr Seabrooke! I love her so much, I just, I can’t do that!

SEABROOKE: [exhales] Donna, the very fact that you’re calling me, tells me that you know that this is wrong.

DONNA: Is it though? She’s happy with me! We love each other!

SEABROOKE: Donna, I want you to think about this. What you are planning to do here is live a lie, for the rest of your life. If this is your partner’s tether, she is not going to stop searching for her son. Are you planning to sabotage her search for the rest of your time together? Pretend that you’re helping, when in fact you’re stopping her at every step?

Because if you do that, then this stops being a good relationship for her, and for you. A healthy relationship is built on honesty and communication, not lies. What you do is ultimately up to you, I can’t make you tell her--

DONNA: [sullenly] But she needs to know.

SEABROOKE: She at least needs to know that you know. You need to be honest with her, and give her the choice here.

DONNA: And if I lose her?

SEABROOKE: Then you know that you’ve made her afterlife happy. That you’ve helped her resolve something that’s been on her mind for decades, and that you ended this with the truth, and not lies.

DONNA: Okay. I’ll tell her.

SEABROOKE: Good. I’m glad to hear it.

DONNA: Thank you for the advice.

SEABROOKE: Always, thanks for calling.

I see this a lot, and I think it’s important to say it again - a healthy relationship is built on honesty and communication. A relationship built upon lies rarely stands, because lies take effort to maintain, and when the lie is discovered, any trust you may have built just vanishes. Just don’t do it! Don’t think you can maintain a relationship on false pretenses.

Now, let’s move on to the next call, you’re on the air, go ahead.

DEB: Hi, Dr Seabrooke, I’m Deb. Thanks for taking my call! I love your show so much, me and my sister listen to it all the time.

SEABROOKE: That’s so kind of you Deb, thanks so much for listening. How can I help you today?

DEB: Well, I guess I’m a bit embarrassed because I don’t want my sister to hear. Hilda, if you’re there, turn off your radio! [laughs nervously] Anyway, I’m a nymph, a wood nymph. My forest is the Pearson Forest.

SEABROOKE: I love it there, it’s beautiful.

DEB: Oh, thank you so much! Um, but yeah, I guess my problem isn’t to do with the wood at all. Oh... Well, I guess it is.

SEABROOKE: Go on.

DEB: Well the thing is, I’m dating a selkie at the moment. And she’s great, but I always have to go to her at the seaside, and I’m away from the woods a lot.

SEABROOKE: So you feel like you’re doing most of the travel here?

DEB: Yeah.

SEABROOKE: Does your partner ever come to the forest?

DEB: Um, well, not really.

SEABROOKE: Not really, or no?

DEB: No.

SEABROOKE: And how long have you been seeing each other?

DEB: Almost... a year.

SEABROOKE: So I imagine you’ve gone to the seaside many times.

DEB: Sometimes we meet in the middle.

SEABROOKE: And how often would that be?.

DEB: Ha, not exactly a lot, I suppose ...

SEABROOKE: Have you asked your partner to come visit you in your home?

DEB: Well, no. Not exactly.

SEABROOKE: Why do you think you have to go to see her more? Do you want her to come visit more often?

DEB: Well, the sea is important to her.

SEABROOKE: Does she know how important the forest is to you?

DEB: I think so. I talk about it all the time. I tell her how much I miss it when I’m away.

SEABROOKE: Has she ever asked to come visit?

DEB: No. She says she needs to be near the sea.

SEABROOKE: Selkies do need to be near the sea, that’s true. But it’s not like they’re mermaids, they can leave it. For weeks at a time. Did you know that?

DEB: I didn’t know it was weeks.

SEABROOKE: How far do you have to travel, Deb?

DEB: It’s about an hour and a half.

SEABROOKE: That’s quite a while.

DEB: [sighs] Yeah, it takes a lot out of me. The train ride is really long.

SEABROOKE: I think perhaps your partner may be exaggerating this issue. Does she do things for you, in other ways?

DEB: Like what?

SEABROOKE: For example, does she pick you up from the station, or take care of dinner?

DEB: Um ... sometimes.

SEABROOKE: Now the thing here is, Deb that your connection to your forest is just as important as your partner’s to the sea. Do you see that?

DEB: I suppose.

SEABROOKE: Your needs are important too, and I’m not sure you realise that.

DEB: Hmm.

SEABROOKE: You say you listen to my show with your sister. Do you ever listen to it with your partner?

DEB: Nah. She says it’s rubbish.

SEABROOKE: Does she say that about other things you suggest, like movies, or books?

DEB: Um ... sometimes.

SEABROOKE: I think perhaps an evaluation needs to happen here, Deb. What do you need from this relationship? What are you getting out of it? You deserve respect from your partner, Deb, and maybe in this relationship you’re not currently getting what you need. You obviously love your forest, it’s your home, and I think it would be wonderful for you to have a chance to share it with someone who really cares about you.

DEB: Hmm.

SEABROOKE: I think perhaps you should talk to your sister about this.

DEB: I think that’s a good idea. Um, thanks, Dr Seabrooke. I really appreciate your time.

SEABROOKE: Not a problem, Deb. Good luck, and thanks for the call.

To me, it’s often a big warning sign when one partner treats the other partner’s interests with disdain - it often means they're treating their partner with disdain. Remember, a relationship needs mutual respect - not necessarily perfect compatibility. I’ve seen plenty of relationships where arguments are a loving thing, but a willingness to treat your partner’s needs and wants as legitimate. This is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll be back with more calls after these messages.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! You’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke - what can I do for you?

[Background SFX: A Phoenix's fire crackles and pops]

PHOENIX: [Echoing, reverberating voice] Hello doctor. I am a recently risen phoenix, and this has been my sixth rebirth. Like my other rebirths, I formally ended my relationships before I gave myself to the flames.

And like my other rebirths, I have been approached by ex-lovers, who try to reconnect with me, not understanding that I am an entirely new self now. I have tried, time and again, to explain my cycle to them, but they insist that they still love me no matter how I have changed. Perhaps that is true, but it is not my wish to carry anything forward from my past incarnations. I burn, and then I am new. That is my way.

I am tired, doctor. Every time I am reborn I must go through this again - trying and trying to explain myself to people I no longer wish to be with. In the past, when their pleas have become overwhelming, I have eventually simply flown away, only to return to their homelands once I know that they have passed on. But I am tired of restricting my journeys in this way. How can I help them understand that they are seeking to be with someone who no longer lives? Everything I have tried in the past has never worked. I'm-I'm at a loss.

SEABROOKE: Oh dear, I’m sorry to hear that. It sounds like they are having a lot of trouble accepting that you’ve broken up, and aren’t being very respectful of your boundaries.

Now, to a certain degree this is understandable - it’s always very painful when we are broken up with without being able to make that decision ourselves, but unfortunately, while it takes two or more people to begin and maintain a relationship, it only takes one to end it. 

I want to reassure you, however, that it doesn’t really matter why you broke up; whether it involves rebirth or not. What matters is that you ended the relationship, and they need to accept that. So I think we should focus on that, rather than trying to get them to understand what rebirth means for you.

PHOENIX: I...I had not considered that perspective. You make a good point.

SEABROOKE: Next time they approach you, I want you to say clearly, I understand that you are hurting, but our relationship is over. We are no longer lovers and I do not wish to change that. Please respect my wishes. Do you think you can do that?

PHOENIX: Yes, doctor.

SEABROOKE: Now, if they still don’t respect that, then we have a bigger problem. Should they continue to harrass you even after you’ve made it clear that you want none of it, then it may be time to cut all contact.

PHOENIX: Fly away, again?

SEABROOKE: Not necessarily. It may be as simple as blocking their number and social network profiles, or avoiding their preferred cafes. Or asking mutual friends to warn you if you’re ever invited to the same events. If they are being particularly persistent and frequent with their approaching of you, it may be worth asking any mutual friends you have to help intervene. Perhaps they can talk some sense into them if you can't. 

And, yes... worst case scenario, you may need to fly away again. And I am sorry for that, because it’s not fair you should be punished by other people’s actions. But you must put your own wellbeing first, and if staying in the same place as these people causes you harm, then, yes, you should leave.

PHOENIX: I see. I’m saddened to hear that.

SEABROOKE: I’m saddened to say it. But, I do think it’s worth thinking positively and trying not to worry about things until they happen. So for now, just worry about being clear to them that you have broken up with them, okay? Hopefully, they will respect your wishes, and leave you alone in your new incarnation.

PHOENIX: Yes, I hope so. Thank you doctor. My blessings upon you.

SEABROOKE: Thank you, and mine upon you as well.

[Background SFX: The fire sounds cut off, as the call disconnects]

I talk a lot on this show about how it takes two to have a relationship, and I think this call shows the issues around it. When a relationship ends, that’s a decision that has to be respected. Trying to force a reconciliation can be disrespectful when the other person has no interest in it. Respect your partner’s decisions, especially when they’re no longer your partner.

[Music: Theme music begins to fade in]

That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Donna, Deb, and our Phoenix caller for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. 

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Donna was voiced by Maria Micklasavage, with the call written by Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

Deb was voiced by Rey Vargas, with the call written by Alison Evans.

The Phoenix was voiced by Zach Walker with the call written by Erin Kyan.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about the show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, the saucy Western with demons, vampires, and mancy- oh my! It's Caravan. Find out more about this great show at whisperforge.com/caravan.

[Music: Theme finishes]

Episode 8: A Relationship Without Legs

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. Remember, if you need help, or need to talk, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I’ve been getting lots of emails from a lot of people out there! More than I can possibly answer! There’s been a lot of praise, and more than a few questions.  I’ve been working on getting through a lot but there’s just too many! You’re still welcome to send your questions and comments through to the station, I love receiving them, although just be aware that I might not get to answer all your questions from hereon in.

With that out of the way, I think it’s time to take some calls! Let’s get started, this is Dr Seabrooke, you’re on the air.

HOLLY: Hi Dr Seabrooke? My name is Holly, I just wanted to say I love your show! I’m so happy to be speaking to you!

SEABROOKE: Thanks so much, Holly, and thank you for calling in today.

HOLLY: Now see like, the thing is. I’ve been seeing someone new, and they’re a hidden fae. My grandmother had the sight, and I do as well, so obviously I can see Victoria.

SEABROOKE: Victoria, is she your partner?

HOLLY: Yes, exactly. But what really upsets me lately is that none of my friends can see Victoria, so whenever we all hang out it’s a weird tension, they don’t know how to talk to each other. I’m just like really worried that one day I’ll have to choose between my friends and Victoria, and I don’t want to do that. I really like them, and of course I love my friends. I want to be able to like, hang out with everyone at the same time.

SEABROOKE: So if you were to, let's say, go to coffee with Victoria and a friend right now, how would that play out?

HOLLY: Well I guess I would make sure my friends knew which seat Victoria was sitting in. And then usually what happens is, unless the waiter has the sight, I’ll order for me and Victoria, and then we’ll all get talking. But when I say talking, I mean like Victoria will talk to me, and my friends will talk to me, but they won’t talk to each other. I’ve tried to like tell them I can be an interpreter or something, but it gets awkward and then everyone just lapses back into talking to just me.

SEABROOKE: Mmm, I can see the problem, this sounds incredibly frustrating.

HOLLY: It is! I just wish they knew how important it was to me that we can all get along.

SEABROOKE: Have you told everyone how you feel?

HOLLY: I mean, a bit, I don't want to inconvenience anyone. I don’t know if they really understand it.

SEABROOKE: Hm. It sounds like you need to explain how important it is to your friends and Victoria that they get along. After explaining all this, I would suggest going out to get a coffee together, and perhaps using a group chat to talk to each other. See how that goes. Then perhaps you can see how chatting in person with you as an interpreter goes, and perhaps you can try and facilitate a bit more of the conversation, bring things up that they have in common, maybe some pop culture that they both like. Maybe Victoria could even use a text-to-speech program, so that your friends can hear them. How does that sound?

HOLLY: This sounds really great, Dr Seabrooke. Thank you so much, and thank you for taking the time to speak with me!

SEABROOKE: You’re welcome Holly, thanks for calling.

Sometimes it can be difficult to find ways of bringing our partners into the rest of our lives, but if it’s important to you, there are always ways and means to build that connection. There’s always some way to bridge the gap.

Let’s move on to our next caller, you’re on the air, go ahead.

LUNA: Hi, Dr Seabrooke, I'm Luna, It’s really cool to get to talk to you. I’m a big fan of the show, and I’m really hoping you can help me.

SEABROOKE: That’s what I’m here to try to do. Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself.

LUNA: Okay, well, I’m a mermaid and I guess I’m about, uh, twenty-eight in human years? My boyfriend’s a human wizard, and he’s thirty-five. We’ve lived together for two years now.

SEABROOKE: On land, or underwater?

LUNA: On land. I use a wheelchair to get around. Being up here seems simpler than messing around with the magic that he’d need to sustain to have gills, and I’ve always liked being on land anyway. The problem is that we’ve been arguing a lot lately, because he met this witch through work who specialises in transformation magic on merfolk. He’d never heard of it before, but now he won’t stop talking about it. I guess that you’ve heard of it?

SEABROOKE: I have, yes. The tail is reformed into functional human legs. My understanding is that the side effects can be quite serious, however.

LUNA: Yeah, they’re really hardcore. My boyfriend persuaded me to have a consultation with this witch, and she said in my case that the side effect would be that I’d lose my voice in the procedure. I said I didn’t want to get it, in that case. Now my boyfriend and I keep fighting about it, and it’s awful.

SEABROOKE: I’m sorry you’re going through this. Do you know why your boyfriend feels so strongly about you getting this transformation?

LUNA: He says that I don’t want to commit to him, that if I did then I’d do it. I came to live with him on land! We have a joint bank account! I think that’s pretty committed, but he doesn’t agree.

SEABROOKE: It is. I absolutely agree with you. Such a significant transformation would have an impact on the physical dynamic between the two of you. Have you talked about that? Has it come up in your arguments at all?

LUNA: I mean, he doesn’t like the wheelchair that much, but it’s not like he’s an asshole about it or anything. I wondered if it was because I’d have, you know, more compatible equipment, but I don’t think so. We’ve always had a really great sex life, and... well, okay, I don’t know if this is relevant, but a few years ago I was a siren, luring sailors into crashing their boats on reefs by singing to them and then dragging them down into the underwater kingdom for unholy debauchery and stuff. So out of the two of us, I’m more experienced, a lot more. I don’t know whether that’s got anything to do with how he’s pushing for this, if he feels like we’d be on more even ground, so to speak, if I had to learn how to make my body feel good all over again.

SEABROOKE: I think that’s absolutely relevant. Your voice is intrinsically tied to your sexuality and your sexual history prior to your current partner. Even if he isn’t consciously aware of the connection, it may well be a strong part of his motivations for pushing for this, especially since he seems to feel that it would demonstrate your commitment to him.

LUNA: But I don’t want to change myself so drastically just to prove that I love him, or whatever he’s looking for out of this. We’re monogamous and I came to live on land to be near him, that should be enough!

SEABROOKE: I absolutely agree with you. This would be something that happens to your body, and you have no obligation at all to change yourself to fit someone else’s desires. I also feel that even if you did opt for the transformation, it wouldn’t necessarily resolve any of the underlying reasons your boyfriend is so adamant about you agreeing to it. Whether I'm right about my speculation on his motivations, or if it’s something else entirely going on, I'd strongly recommend that the two of you look into couples therapy, so you can discuss the perspectives each of you have on this situation with a neutral party present.

LUNA: He won’t want to do that. He hates stuff like that.

SEABROOKE: Maybe so. But you clearly hate the idea of this transformation, which is a lot more radical and permanent than speaking to a counsellor. If he outright refuses, I suggest you see a counsellor on your own, to help you maintain your identity integrity, to help you when you’re pressured to change yourself.

LUNA: Hm.

SEABROOKE: Also, I rarely engage with this program’s hashtag on Twitter, because I feel that’s a space for listeners to talk amongst themselves without feeling like they’re being supervised or monitored while they do so, but I do want to mention that since the beginning of our conversation the feed has been lighting up with allcaps comments telling you to ‘dump him’. I wouldn’t necessarily advocate for terminating a committed, cohabiting relationship as a first response to a conflict, but I do think this is a very serious issue and that, based on what you’ve told me, your partner isn’t engaging with your feelings and needs around this subject. It may be worth reevaluating what each of you hope for in the long term together. Could you try and do that?

LUNA: I’ll try. Thanks, Doctor.

SEABROOKE: Good luck, thanks for the call.

It’s not something I like to talk about, but it is worth remembering that it does take two people to make a relationship work. If you’re communicating, and the other person isn’t listening, and respecting what you need, that’s a serious thing. I believe that no difference is so severe that a relationship is impossible - we’re all people, we have that, at least, in common, but if one person is refusing to respect the other, that’s a serious relationship problem.

This is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll be back with more after these messages.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’re ready to help some more people tonight! Now, let’s get to our next caller, you’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke, go ahead.

ESTHER: Hey, uh, my name is Esther.

SEABROOKE: Hi Esther, tell me what’s brought you to my little old show today?

ESTHER: Well, I need help — ugh, duh, obviously I need help, or else I wouldn’t be here! Sorry, I’m already screwing this up.

SEABROOKE: There’s no need to apologize, you’re doing fine.

ESTHER: Okay. [takes a breath] My girlfriend, um, Sofie, hasn’t been manifesting a whole lot lately and just possesses stuff.

SEABROOKE: Sofie is a ghost?

ESTHER: Oh, uh, [laughs slightly] yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

SEABROOKE: Okay, and she has been choosing to possess objects in your house?

ESTHER: Yes! But she keeps jumping around, like she can’t decide what to possess. I’m at my wit’s end! This morning I spent ten minutes talking to the coffee machine before the Roomba rolled in and gave me a cheery “hey babe, how’d you sleep?” [sighs] I just want to sit next to my girlfriend and binge some shows and chat, you know?

SEABROOKE: Yes, I can understand why this would be stressing you out. Sounds a little like Sofie could be having trouble with committing to a single form. Has she had troubles with commitment in other areas?

ESTHER: Um, I guess. I mean, she is a ghost, so I’ve never really been sure how to approach stuff like “marriage” and “having a family”.

SEABROOKE: Hm. Do you have any idea how she feels about those topics?

ESTHER: I mean, yeah. We’re both looking to be in this for the long haul. I know that much. But talking about actually going about these things is... I don’t know how to bring it up with her.

SEABROOKE: But you want to?

ESTHER: Yeah, duh! I love her. I don’t care what anyone thinks about post-death marriage or whatever. I want to spend my life with her. [SFX: phone clicks, crackles] And she’s totally been possessing the phone this whole time. Hey babe.

SOFIE: Hey Babe. Sorry about the eavesdropping, I didn’t realize you needed the phone until it was a little too late, ha. Apologies to you too, Doc.

SEABROOKE: I’d like to say it’s not a problem, but it actually is. I’m not a fan of having a partner eavesdrop on someone I’m talking with. This is quite a breach of privacy.

SOFIE: You... you’re right. Absolutely. Me feeling awkward shouldn’t override Esther’s needs. I think I’ve been a ghost so long I’ve kind of lost touch with “personal boundaries”, but that’s no excuse. No more phone possessing for me. I’m sorry, Esther.

ESTHER: I forgive you. I know I would’ve been pretty frozen with embarrassment in the same place!

SEABROOKE: Thank you for acknowledging your actions, Sofie, was it?

SOFIE: Yeah, let’s go with that. Thanks for calling me out, I needed it. And um, I-I can jump out if you’d both rather privacy.

ESTHER: Actually, I think... it might be better with you here. If you don’t mind, Doctor?

SEABROOKE: If it’s alright with you, Esther. Sofie, seeing as you’ve been here for this whole conversation, why not share your thoughts on what Esther was saying?

SOFIE: Esther... did-did you mean what you said?

ESTHER: Hm?

SOFIE: About wanting to spend your life with me? Even though I’ve been so flighty lately?

ESTHER: Yes! Obviously! I love you, you roomba-possessing idiot.

SOFIE: You know I don’t have a life to spend with you. I’m dead, Esther. I'm dead.

SEABROOKE: Death doesn’t mean the end of your full existence, Sofie. You’re right here. Is that what’s been making you feel so, as you put it, “flighty”?

SOFIE: Yes. Esther, I’m scared that you’ll move on from me, and I’ll never move on. I already saw my last partner continue her life after I died, and I...

ESTHER: Sofie, I’m not leaving you, okay? Nobody knows the future, but I’m here now and willing to stick by you, dead or alive. I love you, stupid.

SOFIE: [sniffs, giggles] Yeah. I love you too, you solid-bodied nerd.

SEABROOKE: Oh, I hate to say anything and ruin this perfect moment. You two are just the sweetest. I swear I can feel your smiles radiating through the phone lines. How are you feeling now?

[Sofie and Esther laugh]

ESTHER: Better.

SOFIE: [distantly] Better here, too!

ESTHER: Oh my gosh, babe! It’s you! You’ve manifested!

SOFIE: [distantly] All the better to be close to you.

ESTHER: [laughs] Hey, hang on, you! Let me finish this call! Thank you, Doctor. I think it’s time for us to actually figure out our future together.

SEABROOKE: Yes, and I’m sure it’s going to be a wonderful future. Now, get off my line! Sounds like you’ve got some shows to marathon.

That was such a lovely call - it’s so nice to see couples communicate, it’s not something I get often on this show!

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Holly, Luna, Esther and Sofie for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

[MUSIC: Guitar riff plays]

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Holly was voiced by Morgan Kearley, with the call written by Alison Evans.

Luna was voiced by Arizona Jonson, with the call written by Mary Borsellino.

Esther voiced by Addin Sugarda and Sofie was voiced by Rashika Rao, with the call written by Saf Davidson.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, a woman finds herself imperceptible to everyone around her in Unplaced! Find out more about this great show at unplacedpodcast.com!

[Music: Theme finishes]

Episode 7: Barriers

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I'm your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. Need to talk? You can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I'm not usually one to talk about my personal life, but I've actually just come from a lovely dinner with my brother and his partner, a just delightful dryad. They are like any other couple, they have their own needs and problems, but every time I meet them, I think about how much they love each other and how well they work their issues out, and it makes me so happy that they've found each other. So to the two of you tonight, I hope I'm not embarrassing you both too much, and that you're having a wonderful rest of your night.

As for us, we have work to do, so let's get to work! You're on the air with Dr. Seabrooke, are you there?

SHOSHANA: Oh yes! Yes I am, my name is Shoshana!

SEABROOKE: Hello Shoshana, what's on your mind?

SHOSHANA: What's on my mind? Oh so many things! Even just today has been busy busy busy. I'm working on a new stand-up routine about being in an all-vampire triad, and It's almost Rosh Hashanah so I'm--

SEABROOKE: Perhaps I should have been more specific. What are you calling about?

SHOSHANA: Of course, of course. Well you see Katie and Alex, they're my partners- both equally important mind you, all three of our names are on the ketubah and we've been together five years now. I love my beloveds very deeply, but well they're both off at The Blood Lake, do you know that club? It's been around for a long time, anyway they're there and I'm here at home.

SEABROOKE: Did you want to go?

SHOSHANA: I wanted to go with them, but I didn't want to be where they were going, you know?

SEABROOKE: Why's that?

SHOSHANA: It's all crosses and holy water at that place!

SEABROOKE: And you're not comfortable with that risk?

SHOSHANA: No, no, I don't mean they have crosses and holy water. But when the folxs there think "problems for vampires", that's all they think of. It's hardly a Christian group but most of them grew up around Christianity. They don't even notice how Christian-normative their ideas are! They're so focused on just one type of vampire that they never stop to think about the rest of us. (sarcastically) And nu, why should they! It's not like they have to worry about their culture being erased! It's everywhere!

SEABROOKE: That sounds frustrating. Have you talked to your partners about this?

SHOSHANA: Mmm, well, not much really. The thing is Katie's family thinks she became poly because she's a vampire, you know how often stereotypes sexualise us, and Alex's parents took a long time to accept it when ze turned. Without our local vamp community I'm not sure how either of them would have coped. These groups are so important to them.

SEABROOKE: And you don't want them to lose that?

SHOSHANA: Exactly.

SEABROOKE: That's understandable, but I'm sure they wouldn't want you be upset either.

SHOSHANA: True, true...

SEABROOKE: This is your community too. It's OK for you to want your community  to accept all of you, not just the parts most people can relate to.

SHOSHANA: Thanks, it's good to hear that.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like this is a community with a lot of work ahead of it if wants to be inclusive. Your partners can be part of that if you talk to them about what you need, but you have to give them a chance. If you don't tell them what's happening, you're setting them up to disappoint you.

SHOSHANA: I hadn't thought of it like that. We can deal with it together.

SEABROOKE: I'm sure you can. And if I remember this correctly...shanah tovah.

SHOSHANA: Thanks Doc, and thanks for your time.

SEABROOKE: Goodbye.

SHOSHANA: L'hitraot!

SEABROOKE: It's really important to remember, that often the state of the world has a big effect on the state of our relationships. Who we are impacts on how the world sees us, and our partners are a part of that world. If you're in a relationship with someone who is a minority, it's even more important to keep those lines of communication open, and respect what they say - you might not be in a position to understand what they're going through, but you can always work to be understanding and be an oasis of respect for them.

Shannon has our next caller ready to go, you're on the air, go ahead.

BRIAR: Hi, Doctor Seabrooke, my name is Briar.

SEABROOKE: Hi Briar! Tell me what's bothering you today.

BRIAR: Well, the thing is, my girlfriend--wait, I should say first that I'm a wood nymph.

SEABROOKE: Oh! My brother's married to a dryad.

BRIAR: Right, yeah, that's kinda why I called, I figured you might... know stuff? Umm. Anyway, we've been dating three months and now we're looking at apartments together and I'm not... sure about this.

SEABROOKE: You think you're moving too fast.

BRIAR: No! No, she's amazing and I definitely want to spend more time with her, but... [sigh] I'm not explaining this very well. She gets hay fever.

SEABROOKE: Ah, with you now. You make her hay fever act up?

BRIAR: Yeah.

SEABROOKE: But you said you've been dating for a while?

BRIAR: We have, she always takes an antihistamine when we hang out, but I'm scared she'll get sick of having to do that every day or maybe it won't be enough if we're together all the time.

SEABROOKE: And have you talked to her about this?

BRIAR: She says it's fine but I'm just... not sure she's taking it seriously.

SEABROOKE: Okay, so you actually have two problems--the hay fever, and the fear that your girlfriend doesn't really understand how it might affect your relationship.

BRIAR: I guess, yeah.

SEABROOKE: Well, luckily, they both have the same solution. First of all, you need to let your girlfriend know that this is a real concern for you. Tell her what you told me.

BRIAR: Okay.

SEABROOKE: And then I think the two of you ought to make an appointment with an allergist so you can get a better picture of your options for managing her hay fever. Generally speaking, hayfever isn't all that serious in humans--more annoying than dangerous--but it should put both of your minds at ease to know what you're looking at in terms of treatment. Once you know that, you can talk about this with the facts at hand and figure out where you're going from here. Sound good?

BRIAR: Yes, thank you Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Good luck! I know you two are gonna be just fine. Thanks for the call!

I know a lot of relationships where the people inside them have these little issues - problems that are, you know, a little annoying but you work around them, and that's fine! Your relationship does not have to be devoid of problems to be workable. This is Supernatural Sexuality, I'm Doctor Seabrooke, we'll have more calls after the break.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I'm Doctor Seabrooke, I'm ready to get back into the calls! It's time for a lovely new caller. You're on the air, why don't you introduce yourself?

ISLA: Hi there! I'm Isla! I'm actually a huge fan of your show, I look up to you a lot. I'm kind of a sucker for dating advice shows and columns and you... you just make everything so hopeful for people.

SEABROOKE: Oh. Thank you, Isla. That means a lot. I like to think I'm helping to make the world a more loving place. How can I help do that for you today?

ISLA: Ah. Aha. Yeah, so I love romance, right? But I've never really considered myself the romantic kind in real life. I've only had a couple dates and I've never actually dated anyone. As much as I enjoy living vicariously through other people's love lives, the urge hasn't ever really been there for me. Does that make sense?

SEABROOKE: That makes perfect sense to me. Would you consider yourself aromantic?

ISLA: Well, no, not really. I've always been pretty sure I have those feelings somewhere in my guts. I figured one day they'd pop up and I'd be like, "Oh! There you are!" [laughs]

SEABROOKE: And are you calling me because these feelings still haven't "popped up" for you, or because they have?

ISLA: See, this is why I like you, Doctor! You're so perceptive, you really get people. Yup, those feelings have recently "popped" — which now that I say it is a terrible way of putting it. Is there a  proper term for that? Suddenly having romantic feelings spring into your life?

SEABROOKE: Are you perhaps getting distracted, Isla?

ISLA: [Awkwardly laughs] Yeah. Yeah, okay, maybe. I guess it's still kind of hard for me to talk about this stuff? The whole thing is really new.

SEABROOKE: That's okay. New feelings can be hard to work out, let alone verbalize. Would it help to start from the beginning? Did you meet someone?

ISLA: You could say that. I mean, you'd be right in saying that. Because yes I totally did and she is amazing. Absolutely just the most amazing creature I have ever met in my life, I could talk about her for hours.

I have, in fact, talked about her for hours. One of my friends started a timer for me when I get going about her. It's like all the stuff I would've gotten out of me as a horny and hormonal teen is bubbling up out of me now and... and... it's a lot.

SEABROOKE: It can be frustrating when a friend's new crush or partner suddenly starts dominating conversations, but I'm sure your friends are happy for you.

ISLA: Oh, they are! I, uh, got distracted again. That's not why I'm calling. [giggles, takes deep breath] Okay. So. The beginning, right?

SEABROOKE: If that's alright with you.

ISLA: So I travel a lot. For work, not for fun, though [laughs] it can be pretty fun.

SEABROOKE: Isla?

ISLA: Right, distracted. Sorry, Doctor.  Travel... work... yeah, okay so I went to Scotland for work a few months ago and I spent a couple weeks there. Most of the time I was doing work stuff, but I managed to squeeze in a couple tours because Scotland is downright gorgeous. Have you ever been? It's just, wow, no place like it.

SEABROOKE: We're not talking about me being in Scotland now, are we?

ISLA: Fair point. Seriously though, if you haven't been, you need to go. This goes to all your listeners, too.

SEABROOKE: You were saying you went on some tours? How were they?

ISLA: Amazing. Totally breathtaking. But on a boat tour of a loch, I got a little too into taking photos and leaned a little too far over the railing.

SEABROOKE: You fell off the boat?

ISLA: I fell off the boat. Turns out those lochs are freezing! The cold shocked me so much I totally lost grip of my phone and because I'm a millennial and my phone cost me a buttload, I was an idiot and tried to dive down after it. Turns out it's really hard to swim when you're numb from cold and weighed down by a massive coat.

SEABROOKE: I can imagine. I'm glad you got out of that okay.

ISLA: More than okay! Someone grabbed me and dragged me back to the surface before I ran out of breath. She got me to the boat and the people on the tour helped her get me back onboard. And then she looked at me with these big, beautiful, worried eyes. I was... breathless.

I mean, I was also breathless because I'd almost drowned, but you know what I mean. I always thought people saying someone took their breath away was just a metaphor. Turns out I was wrong. She actually took my breath away.

SEABROOKE: That is quite the meet-cute.

ISLA: That's not all! After saving my life she dove right back into the icy depths and came back up with my phone! She saved my phone for me!

SEABROOKE: It survived the loch?

ISLA: Waterproof! To a point. Technology is actually amazing.

SEABROOKE: That it is. So she saved your life, and your phone. Did you two talk after that?

ISLA: We did! She was so worried she made the boat turn right around and head right back to shore. I changed into some dry clothes, got a hot drink, then went back to the loch to find her so I could thank her again.

Turns out she was looking for me so she could check up on me and make sure I hadn't died from a cold or hypothermia or something. We got to talking, and next thing I know it's four in the morning and I can't keep my eyes open.

SEABROOKE: That sounds very romantic. Please tell me you saw her again after that.

ISLA: I spent every spare moment of my trip with her after that. She showed me her favourite spots, laughed at me trying to skim rocks, and we kind of fell for each other. It was... like a dream. But like I said, my job is why I travel so much. It's why I was in Scotland in the first place. We agreed we'd try long distance because neither of us wanted it to end when I left. She gets it. She's, uh, kind of famous, so she knows what it's like to have professional demands. [sad, close to crying] Long distance is really hard. I miss her so much and I want to talk to her all the time and I feel like I'm being super clingy and like, failing at being a good girlfriend?

SEABROOKE: Long distance is hard. This being your first serious relationship won't be making it any easier either. You're not failing anyone for struggling with how much you're missing your girlfriend.

ISLA: I feel like I am, though! She's super busy — which I understand because I am too — but I get anxious and frustrated anyway when she's too busy to talk to me, even though I know it's her job and I'm often too busy to reply to her right away.

SEABROOKE: Not being able to communicate with your partner can be a frustrating thing. Many of my friends have been in or are currently in long-distance relationships and plenty of them have vented to me about the gaps in conversation that don't happen face-to-face.

ISLA: It sucks! I'm worried about getting too clingy and controlling, though. She doesn't exactly have regular access to the internet where she lives. What if she gets annoyed at how often I'm messaging her when she's not around and it ruins the whole relationship? What do I do, Doctor?

SEABROOKE: The first tenet of a long-distance relationship, or for any relationship for that matter, is communication. Have you talked to her about these feelings?

ISLA: ... no. I didn't want to come across as needy and overwhelm her. Which I feel like I'm doing anyway. [groans angrily]

SEABROOKE: I'll bet that she misses you just as much as you miss her. It's entirely likely that she doesn't want you to think she's over-attached and too demanding of your time.

ISLA: But she's amazing. People love her! How could she think that? Of course I want to spend all my time with her.

SEABROOKE: Being loved as a celebrity is nothing like being loved as a partner. The two of you had what sounds like a magical and intimate few weeks together. I think she'll understand if you talk to her about what you're struggling with.

ISLA: What can we do about it, though?

SEABROOKE: Well, I have a few suggestions. Of course, you don't have to take them onboard if they don't suit you.

ISLA: Shoot, Doctor. I'm willing to try anything you think might help.

SEABROOKE: A couple I know send each other daily selfies when they don't have time for video calls. They get to share part of their day with their partner, and their partner gets to see their face.

ISLA: That sounds really cute! Unfortunately Nes... Ne... uh... Vanessa is pretty camera shy. In fact, the only picture I have of the two of us together is an extremely blurry polaroid. Did you know you're not meant to shake polaroids when they're developing?

SEABROOKE: Perhaps the next time you see her in person, you can see if she'd be comfortable taking a good photo together. Just a photo for the two of you to keep.

ISLA: That would be nice...

SEABROOKE: On that note, do you have any idea of when you'll get to see her again?

ISLA: Not... really? We haven't really talked about that yet. I've never been much of a long-term planner, we both tend to just go with the flow.

SEABROOKE: Well then! The first thing you two should do is try to create a somewhat-solid plan for when you'll next be together in person. Decide on something realistic. I know how go-with-the-flow types can be with idealistic planning.

ISLA: Yeah... you're right. As per usual.

SEABROOKE: You'd be surprised.

ISLA: I mean, making a realistic plan sounds smart. I can get behind that.

SEABROOKE: One of the hardest parts of long-distance relationships is, of course, the distance. Having your future plans together be nothing more than amorphous time-blobs only makes it harder. I'm betting that having a plan for when you'll get to see her again will make you both feel a lot better.

ISLA: Mhm. Yup. I can see that! It gives us something solid to look forward to, right?

SEABROOKE: Exactly.

ISLA: But what about the time between now and then? How do I deal with being so far away from her? This is the hardest thing I've ever done. I just want to be in her life.

SEABROOKE: I know. Long-distance is extremely challenging, but I believe that when two people work so hard to be together across a vast distance, they form an even stronger bond than if they hadn't.

ISLA: That is beautiful! I hope you're right. But what do I do to help make this work now?

SEABROOKE: As I said before, you need to talk. To. Her. Clear and honest communication is the most important part of any relationship, but it's even more vital when you're long-distance. You two need to feel safe enough to talk openly about how you feel, what you want for the future, and how you think you can achieve the relationship you want together.

ISLA: The future? Shit, I have no idea.

SEABROOKE: Then that's something you should definitely work out. And talk about it. I'm not saying you need to talk about marriage or kids or anything, simply a conversation about what you want your relationship to look like in the long term.

As for now stuff, perhaps the two of you can schedule date nights? Stream a movie together, play an online game, or plan the same dinner and video chat while you eat. Organize dedicated time that is solely for you and Vanessa. You should also set aside certain times during the week for talking to each other. Spending time together.

ISLA: Like, without it being a date?

SEABROOKE: Exactly! Regular times that you both adhere to. Maybe a good morning call before breakfast, whatever works for you. I know with your work it might be hard to set things in stone in advance, especially if you're not the kind of person to plan ahead. 

ISLA: [chuckles guiltily] Yeah.

SEABROOKE: But putting in the effort shows Vanessa how much you value her and your time.

ISLA: I never thought of it that way! You're a damn genius, Doctor.

SEABROOKE: Far from it. I'm simply trying to help people like you find love and happiness. Do you think anything I've said will be helpful?

ISLA: Yeah. Obviously. I mean, you're absolutely right that I need to talk to her about my feelings. It never occured to me that she might be feeling the same way about everything.

SEABROOKE: Sometimes all you need is a little outside perspective. How are you feeling about everything?

ISLA: Still a little anxious. A bit worried. But better. Kind of excited about the idea of doing Geistline dinner dates? I should find some recipes that we'll both like... maybe sardine pizza, or fish tacos, or --

SEABROOKE: As long as you're together, I'm sure the food won't even matter.

ISLA: [Laughs] I guess, yeah. Thank you thank you thank you for talking to me, Doctor. You really are amazing!!

SEABROOKE: It truly is my pleasure. All the best to you and Vanessa.

Long distance relationships definitely have their challenges - these sorts of relationships are rarely easy! But those challenges can be met, if everyone in the relationship is willing to work on the problems with respect and good communication.

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

That about wraps things up for this week, I'd like to thank Shoshana, Briar, and Isla for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I'm Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, and this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you've found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I'll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis- Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions. 

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Shoshana was voiced by Corrine Beck, with the call written by Kochava Lilit.

Briar was voiced by Vick Harden, with the call written by Cecil Wilde.

Isla was voiced by Alex Welch, with the call written by Saf Davidson.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, a ghost finds love in the afterlife in a haunted park thanks to a young medium, in Overkill! Find out more about this great show at galpalspresents.com/overkill!

[MUSIC: Theme fades out]

Episode 6: Unspeakable

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality!

I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. If you have a problem, and you’d like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

Now, before we get to this week’s calls, we received an actual honest-to-god letter into the station mailbox, and I’m going to read it out now. Let’s see...

[reading] Dear Doctor Seabrooke, I have opened and abandoned more drafts of this letter than I care to admit. Hopefully, with this draft, I will find my courage.

For many years following my untimely passing, I have haunted my local library. I was quiet in life, and am now all too quiet in death. While some ghosts rattle and moan extravagantly, I have never acquired the knack of projecting my voice into the mortal plane of hearing. Visibility is equally beyond my reach, and I can barely influence the physical world. The most I can do is rattle a windowpane or turn a page. The library’s installation of computers and internet access has been a great boon to me, as I have discovered an affinity for electricity and rekindled my love of writing. Through the wonders of the internet, I have made new friends, and ... I’ve met someone.

She and I have grown to mean a great deal to one another. Over recent months, our correspondence has developed from the casual to the profound to something bordering on the intimate. With her invitation, I have even travelled through the wires and waves and ineffable ether to visit her home through her computer. Doctor, I have developed feelings for her. But this is where I need your help.

In my mortal years, I most certainly lacked a love life. My timidity meant that I rarely risked rejection. In death, I want to be braver. This mortal knows my situation; I was bold enough to be my true self with her, and she didn’t run screaming. But she is alive, and corporeal. If I confess my attraction, what can I possibly offer her?

I read a great deal, Doctor. Over the shoulders of library patrons, or in the dead of night, when everyone else is gone, if a book cover is light enough for me to lift. Whenever I read a tale of romance, the physical connection seems so inescapably crucial. I have become frightened to read more online and discover the true depths of my inadequacy; even crass advertisements on the sides of webpages haunt me. How can a being of my minimal experience, who can barely touch the world, satisfy a lover? I fear that I’m foolish to want to share my feelings when there is so little I can offer. Am I better off enjoying a purely platonic relationship with this person, knowing that she can pursue others who might be more ... satisfactory? Doctor Seabrooke, what should I do? Signed, The Late Alex.

[no longer reading aloud] Alex, I’m so glad you wrote in, because what you’re experiencing is very common, and I have some ideas. First off – fear of inadequacy is something I hear all the time in practice. It plagues the living and the undead, unfortunately! Living in a library sounds great, – so much knowledge available to you! – but you’re also being exposed to media portrayals of sex and intimacy that are very “one size fits all”. I hope your library updates its romance and sexuality books some time soon, because I know there are great writers and researchers who know better! I promise you, a mutually satisfying love life without any sort of direct touch is possible.

Alex, it’s a shame your time online made you feel intimidated after your experiences with novels, because the internet is absolutely chock full of people whose favourite, most appreciated, most delightful erotic tools are the ones you have to work with. I’m talking about written erotica and electronic devices! You’ve seen from your library time how many people want to read sexy words, and a little independent research will demonstrate how an ability to use and travel through electricity might give you an extraordinary control of all sorts of other toys. You have some pretty excellent options available!

I wanted to raise something else in your letter – I’m reading an awful lot about your worries and what you think she might want based on media, but I’m not hearing much about what YOU want, and I’m not hearing much about what SHE wants.

So first off – what sounds sexy to you? What kind of love life do you want? Think less about limits and expectations, and use your creativity and imagination. And second – don’t self-reject! You don’t know what she wants, and you won’t know until you ask her out. Whatever her answer is, remember that there are lots of beings out there who have found satisfaction and delight in very individualised ways, ways that suit their unique configuration of physical manifestations, minds and tastes.

You mentioned you were shy in life, and you’re getting braver in your afterlife. A lot of ghosts and undead beings I’ve seen in practice find they are late bloomers in this way. I hope your new courage takes you to exciting places, and thank you so much for the letter!

Now, Shannon’s very subtly telling me to get on with it, so let’s get onto the calls! We’ve got our first call, you’re on the air, go ahead.

RILEY: Hi Dr Seabrooke! My-my name is Riley.

SEABROOKE: Riley, what’s the situation?

RILEY: Well, I recently moved into a new apartment.

SEABROOKE: That’s great to hear!

RILEY: It is great. Perhaps a little too great?

SEABROOKE: What do you mean, Riley?

RILEY: Well, the previous owners of the place neglected their trailing ivy plant. So the houseplant died, which is really sad, but because the plant had such an enduring enthusiasm to live, they transformed into a spectre. Their name is Evergreen and they’re now my housemate.

SEABROOKE: And do you like your housemate?

RILEY: Yeah I do. That’s the thing. I think I like them a little too much. We’ve been playing Scrabble and doing jigsaw puzzles with each other almost every night. Sometimes it’s past midnight before we realise how long we’ve been talking and hanging out!

SEABROOKE: Wonderful! So what’s the problem?

RILEY: Well, I really want to keep hanging out with them. A lot.. To the point where ... well, y’know.

SEABROOKE: There’s absolutely no judgement here, Riley, I’m here to listen.

RILEY: Okay, okay. You see, I fantasize about them. I fantasize about us being more intimate, either in a platonic or romantic way.

SEABROOKE: And how do you see this intimacy evolving between you?

RILEY: Well, I want to feel them. I think about them temporarily sinking into my body, their long ghost stems wrapping around my organs. I dream we’re holding each other, leaf-in-hand, until we fall asleep.

SEABROOKE: Riley, that’s such a beautiful and honest thing to want. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of. I assume you haven’t hinted any of these feelings to Evergreen?

RILEY: No! Heck no. I’d be too damn scared.

SEABROOKE: And why is that?

RILEY: Honestly? Because I don’t want to ruin the friendship. I’ve only just moved out of home and I’m totally aware this could just be another one of my silly high-school style crushes. I don’t want to fuck things up.

SEABROOKE: Firstly, crushes aren’t silly and can be heaps of fun, no matter your age. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about someone in that way. No one can police your intimate thoughts.

RILEY: Yeah I guess you’re right.

SEABROOKE: But I can understand your hesitation in not wanting to ruin your friendship with Evergreen, especially when you’re living together as housemates.

RILEY: Totally! It’s really tough. I want to be more than friends with them, but I don’t want to risk losing the friendship either.

SEABROOKE: Absolutely, Riley. And clearly the friendship means a lot to you, which is a really beautiful thing. Have either of you discussed relationships before?

RILEY: Hmm, I don’t think so. I mentioned my shitty ex really briefly once, but it was a throwaway comment.

SEABROOKE: It could be worth engaging your housemate in a casual conversation about friendships and other relationships, to see what they might be looking for and see if they’re interested in the same things as you.

RILEY: That’s-that's true. Kind of testing the waters, so I don’t freak them - or myself - out!

SEABROOKE: I definitely don’t want anyone to freak out! A casual conversation like this could then make space for you both to discuss what you’re looking for from each other and the potential to change the nature of your relationship. Pun intended.

RILEY: [laughs]

SEABROOKE: Which brings me to another point – if you keep the conversation light and perhaps even throw in a few jokes, it could help ease any tension between you.

RILEY: Evergreen does love a good pun! Thanks, Dr Seabrooke. I’ll have a chat about relationships with them to see what kind of stuff they’re into.

SEABROOKE: And it sounds like you have a good communicative core relationship between you, so hopefully the rest of the conversation will just grow.

RILEY: [laughs] Oh my god.

SEABROOKE: Sorry not sorry, Riley! It seems I love a good pun just as much as Evergreen.

RILEY: Thanks Dr Seabrooke, you’ve made me feel more positive about the whole thing.

SEABROOKE: I’m really glad to hear that, Riley. Good luck, and thanks for the call!

RILEY: Thank you!

SEABROOKE: It’s all too common - I’m sure many of us have found friends that we’d like something more than a friendship with. As long as you’re treating your friend with respect, and being open and honest with them, it doesn’t have to be scary! Time for a quick break, this is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke.

[Ad Break]

Welcome back, you’re listening to Supernatural Sexuality. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, it’s time to take some more calls. You’re on the air, how can I help?

GRETA: Hi, my name’s Greta, and uh, I’ve got a problem with my boyfriend?

SEABROOKE: You called the right number, Greta. What’s wrong?

GRETA: He’s dead.

SEABROOKE: Is that normal?

GRETA: No...[sighs] there was an accident. Three weeks ago. The thing is... he just kind of stuck around. The night after the accident, I found him in bed. He kind of was just... floating there. Not saying anything.

SEABROOKE: How did that make you feel?

GRETA: It was a shock. I was right in the middle of grieving, you know? Then all of a sudden, he’s back, but something's changed, he’s different.

SEABROOKE: It can be a big change, moving between lives. Did you talk about it together?

GRETA: Yeah, he’s not much of a talker now. It’s really strange. He was such a chatterbox when he was alive! Now we just have an iPad that he writes on.

SEABROOKE: And how’s your relationship going, with this in mind?

GRETA: I guess at first I was just so happy to have him back when I thought I’d lost him forever. But - um, there's - everything is so different now; it’s like there’s this chasm between us. [choking up] I-I can’t even touch him anymore!

SEABROOKE: That sounds like a tough time; sounds like that aspect was really important to you.

GRETA: Yeah.

SEABROOKE: How about this? I always say that communication is the key to any relationship. It’s really important that both of you accept that things have changed. And that’s not a bad thing! It’s important to be able to adapt to change.

One thing that I want you to try and do is remember the things that you liked together. If there’s a distance between you, try to reach out. It’s important to be the one to take action and get past that fear of the unknown.

GRETA: I guess... we could try and do some of our dates again? Relive some memories? But I guess that’s not new things...

SEABROOKE: But it is a new thing, Greta, because you’re doing it with him now, not then. Maybe you’re not able to be intimate in the ways you’re used to, but you can put forward what you are comfortable with and find out how to make your relationship work better - maybe better than it used to be!

GRETA: I do like it when he tries to float through my... you know...

SEABROOKE: [laughs] See, some definite advantages there! Seems like there’s a whole lot of potential there if you’re just willing to try. There’s so much that you can do if you accept new things and learn to adapt to what life - or death throws at us. I think your boyfriend loves you a whole lot. If you two can work together and keep communicating, I’m sure your relationship will bloom.

GRETA: That’s a good lesson, I think. Yeah, I'll - I’ll try and trust in him more.

SEABROOKE: Good luck with your boyfriend, Greta. I’m sure everything will go fine.

GRETA: Yeah. Thanks, Dr. Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call. Big transitions, regardless of the source, can always put some strain on a relationship, but relationships are organic things - they can change, and what they change into can be just as great, sometimes greater! Just make sure you’re keeping the lines of communication open during these transitions.

[SFX: Sound of door opening]

Ah, there you are Shannon! Now, we have a very special caller coming to us via crystal ball! Shannon’s just had to fish our particular model from an old station storage closet.

[SFX: The crystal ball is placed on the mic]

SEABROOKE: Thanks, Shannon. We’ll just get rid of some of this dust...

[SFX: Sound of door closing]

SEABROOKE: [blows on crystal ball, coughs] Now, I haven’t used one of these in a long time, so I might be a bit rusty...

[SFX: The ball hums eerily]

SEABROOKE: Oh! Wow, I think it’s working. Our producer Shannon tells me that Vincent is on the line. Hello, Vincent? Are you there?

[SFX: Echoing, humming sounds over the words]

VINCENT: [warped, echoing, incoherent] Yes, hello? Can you hear me?

SEABROOKE: Sorry, Vincent? We’re picking up some feedback on our end. Could you turn down the psychic resonance?

VINCENT: My apologies! Here.

[SFX: Echoing, humming sounds end]

VINCENT: [Less warped, echoing, is now coherent] Is that better?

SEABROOKE: Much better, Vincent. Thank you.

VINCENT: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke! I’m a long time fan of the show. I appreciate you taking my call.

SEABROOKE: Well it’s a pleasure to have you. Now, our producer tells me that you’ve just celebrated an anniversary.

VINCENT: That’s right. My husband, Kenneth, and I have just celebrated our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary.

SEABROOKE: Congratulations! Now how can I--

VINCENT: [interrupting] Yes, and at seventy-two years young it’s taken nearly half my lifetime!

SEABROOKE: I’m sure that nearly four decades of marriage hasn’t been without its difficulties.

VINCENT: Absolutely not, Dr. Seabrooke. In fact, that is why I’m calling.

SEABROOKE: How can I help, Vincent?

VINCENT: Well, it’s about my Kenneth, you see. He really is a remarkable man. A surgeon, you know! We first met at a Halloween ball many years ago. I was helping the vampires and ghouls tend the blood fountain, and Kenneth was escorting a patient in recovery. He had just transplanted her brain into the female body she had always wanted, and while she was over the moon it did leave her with an unforeseen craving for human flesh. It took some time to source ethical food options for--

SEABROOKE: I’m sorry, Vincent. I think we might be getting a little off track.

VINCENT: Of course. There I go again. Getting lost in my own little world! [chuckles] But even after all these years Kenneth and I are very much in love. However there’s one sticky wicket in our marriage that I’m not sure how to address.

SEABROOKE: Mm-hmm. And what might that be?

VINCENT: Well, you see, Kenneth has a cabinet of unspeakable horrors.

SEABROOKE: I see. A cabinet of horrors?

VINCENT: Unspeakable horrors, yes.

SEABROOKE: Can you tell me more about them?

VINCENT: Well, no. They really are quite unspeakable. If I had to sum it in a word it would be... [screaming]

[SFX: Warping and echoing get louder]

SEABROOKE: Vincent? The psychic resonance...

[SFX: Warping and echoing die down]

VINCENT: My apologies.

SEABROOKE: How did Kenneth come to be in possession of this cabinet of horrors--

VINCENT: Unspeakable horrors.

SEABROOKE: And how has it affected your relationship?

VINCENT: Well, to answer the first part of your question, when Kenneth was a child he was plagued by nightmares. Whenever he closed his eyes terrifying visions flooded his thoughts and left him writhing! That was when his mother intervened, and as remedy instructed him to project those nightmares into the cabinet on the far side of the room to be locked away. Oh, cabinets, closets; the lifetime of issues Kenneth has had with furniture and storage!

SEABROOKE: Vincent...

VINCENT: Yes, yes. Of course. Well, as the years wore on the cabinet collected new nightmares, and as Kenneth progressed from a child into a young man those nocturnal terrors fermented. Those nightmares took a life of their own, and became a cabinet of unspeakable horrors! In the dark when all are sleeping...

SEABROOKE: I see. Vincent--

VINCENT: And we mortals are at our weakest-

SEABROOKE: Vincent?

VINCENT: ...Those unspeakable horrors emerge from behind the wooden door...

SEABROOKE: [exasperated sigh]

VINCENT: ...and creep through the hallways, speaking the maddening truths of eternity into your ear, and drag you between the floorboards into the deepest pits of Hell! [maniacal laughter]

[Pause]

Dr. Seabrooke?

SEABROOKE: [jumps] Yes! Vincent! That sounds terrible!

VINCENT: Oh, you get used to it. After the third bout of involuntary gibbering you find it more a nuisance than anything.

SEABROOKE: I take it to mean that Kenneth still has this cabinet.

VINCENT: Well it belonged to his grandmother, and it has incredible sentimental value, you see.

SEABROOKE: Right.

VINCENT: Not to mention how attached he is to the horrors themselves.

SEABROOKE: The unspeakable horrors.

VINCENT: Yes. Sometimes I’ll offer him a lamp, open the cabinet door and let them scream for the whole weekend. They enjoy that quality time. But every so often one of the horrors will hide away in the larder and give me the most awful fright!

SEABROOKE: I see.

VINCENT: I’m at my wits end, Dr. Seabrooke, and it’s been this way for years. I don’t know whether I just need to accept it or if it’s too late to put my foot down. [pained] Oh, Kenneth...

SEABROOKE: Vincent, I’m very glad you called, and please don’t let it get you down too much; there is hope.

VINCENT: Thank goodness!

SEABROOKE: In any relationship, whether it’s lasted for thirty-seven years or thirty-seven days, it’s important to set and reset personal boundaries. As we grow those boundaries may shift, which is why it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with ourselves and with others about our needs.

VINCENT: Oh, well, I don’t want to cause a fuss, you understand...

SEABROOKE: I understand, Vincent. Conflict is very unpleasant, but if what we’re psychically picking up is accurate, then there’s already been a bit of fuss. Nothing gets resolved if you’re not willing to talk about it.

VINCENT: Yes, I suppose...

SEABROOKE: You’re not asking for Kenneth to get rid of the cabinet.

VINCENT: Heavens no! Those unspeakable horrors are like family to him! In fact, they are his preferred company over the holidays.

SEABROOKE: And that’s all well and good for Kenneth, but the home you share is yours as well. You respect his connection to the cabinet of unspeakable horrors, but you’re entitled to respect in return. Would you think it unfair to ask Kenneth to check the pantry before you return home?

VINCENT: I... suppose that sounds reasonable... Yes. Yes, thank you. That is the right thing to do. It is time that Kenneth and I had a talk. [exhales.]

SEABROOKE: Remember, Vincent; the horrors may be unspeakable, but your feelings aren’t.

VINCENT: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke. You’ve been a tremendous help. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend my cauldron. Tonight I’m making my special ghoulish goulash! [maniacal laughter]

SEABROOKE: Thank you, Vincent. And happy anniversary!

It’s so important that we make sure we’re expressing our feelings to our partners - it helps no one to shut down those lines of communication. Remember, if you can’t talk about it, you’re never going to find a solution to your problem, so sit down, respect your partner and talk.

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: That’s all we have time for this week, I’d like to thank the Late Alex for the letter, Riley, Greta and Vincent for their calls today, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho

The Late Alex’s letter was written by Hannah Aroni.

Riley was voiced by Rae White, with the call also written by Rae White.

Greta was voiced by Fars Edraki, with the call written by Cassandra Cheung.

Vincent was voiced by Nikesh Murali, with the call written by Miranda Sparks.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon!

If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show.

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, an agoraphobic woman finds her lighthouse home moving to a new place every day in The Far Meridian! Find out more about this great show at https://whisperforge.org/thefarmeridian!

[MUSIC: Theme finishes]

Episode 5: Theatrical Romance

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, This is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. If you want help or advice tonight, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I wanted to thank everyone who sent tweets or emails about my appearance on Sun Up this week! It’s a very different experience being on television than it is chatting with you dear listeners, but I was glad to chat with the hosts and help educate people about how to handle diverse relationships to such a wide audience, even if it was for a very short segment!

Anyway, It’s time for your calls! Let’s get to work shall we? This is Dr Olivia Seabrooke, you’re on the air.

PHOEBE: Hello Dr Seabrooke, my name is Phoebe.

SEABROOKE: Hello Phoebe, how can I help?

PHOEBE: Well Dr Seabrooke, I’ve started dating this lovely vampire, we’ve been going out for the last few weeks. It’s been really grand but I’m worried that he’s not that into me.

SEABROOKE: And how did you meet this vampire?

PHOEBE: Well I was out with some friends at this new restaurant, its this vegan joint called ‘Don’t Feed the Plant’. Meiosis works there... that-that’s his name by the way. We both bonded over our shared passion for animal rights. In fact the next day we were both at a Voiceless rally and well...it just kind of continued from there. I mean we’ve seen each other at least three times a week since we met.

SEABROOKE: Always good to have a shared interest. Why you are concerned he’s not into you? You are spending lots of time together.

PHOEBE: It’s just well...it’s a bit silly, and it sounds really selfish but...when we have sex, he doesn’t go down on me. For some reason I think that means he finds me unattractive or he doesn’t want to.

SEABROOKE: Ahhh, I see. Have you spoken to Meiosis about this?

PHOEBE: I'm a little embarrassed, it feels so selfish.

SEABROOKE: Phoebe, its okay to ask for what you want in the bedroom. I think it's something everyone should feel comfortable talking about.

I want to put a pin in that and return to it a little later, but first let's talk about the problem at hand. I have a theory. Now this may be totally wrong as I don’t know this man. He may just dislike giving oral sex. And you’ll have to decide whether that’s a problem for you. But, well, he is a vampire.

PHOEBE: Well yeah, I said that.

SEABROOKE: And, forgive me for being blunt, but are you expecting your period?

PHOEBE: Yeah I’m due for my period soon... but I don’t see what that’s got to do with it?

SEABROOKE: [gently and calmly] Phoebe...what do vampires eat?

PHOEBE: I told you he’s...oh. [laughs slightly] I can’t believe I never thought of that. I’m so stupid.

SEABROOKE: You’re not stupid Phoebe. As you said, you met at a vegan restaurant, its unlikely it would have crossed your mind.

PHOEBE: But then... are you saying they might kill me?

SEABROOKE: Not kill you no. They do require the necessary proteins, lipids and carbohydrates found in blood. Many alternate their diets to accommodate this as they feel it’s a social disadvantage. Some vampires even use synthetic blood. Generally though they find willing participants, particularly if they are vegan. Usually this is successful, however the scent of blood can instigate a type of primal response. Similar to sharks.

PHOEBE: So he is going to kill me.

SEABROOKE: No, no, most vampires will not kill. He may get a bit embarrassed though to feed.

PHOEBE: You mean he could... like it?

SEABROOKE: I’ve heard of it happening before. But I think that’s something you should discuss with him.

PHOEBE: Well thanks Dr. Seabrooke! I--

SEABROOKE: Wait a minute Phoebe. Please stay on the line. I said I was going to return to your discomfort in asking for your own pleasure.

PHOEBE: Oh...well...okay.

SEABROOKE: Thanks, I know it's very confronting to share yourself with me, but I wanted to help because if there’s one thing I get worried about it's a lovely person like yourself feeling embarrassed and ashamed of their sexual pleasure. I wonder, have you recently come out of a long-term relationship?

PHOEBE: I have! How-how did you know?

SEABROOKE: I’ve been a therapist for a long time now Phoebe, this happens comes up pretty regularly.

PHOEBE: Sure.

SEABROOKE: Tell me about them?

PHOEBE: Well, he was a ghost.

SEABROOKE: Ok, so tell me about your relationship with this ghost.

PHOEBE: He haunted my old flat. At first he seemed really transparent [laughs] transparent about what he wanted. But...well it got so repetitive. We ended up going through the same things over and over again. And when I tried to change it up, he’d get all offended. He also kept comparing me to his former girlfriends, which was just uncool. I don’t know. It felt like he had [huffs] unfinished business.

SEABROOKE: I understand I think, just to clarify when you’re talking about ‘changing things up’ do you mean sexually?

PHOEBE: I mean everything. We’d go out to the same restaurants, eat the same meal, brush his teeth the same way. I mean he couldn’t even hold the toothbrush but every night he'd try to pick it up and I’d end up with the bathroom covered in ectoplasm and toothpaste. When I asked for him to do some things sexually suddenly he’d go on this tangent about being ‘suffocated with a pillow, and now he only ever does missionary’. To be honest I don’t remember. You know when you hear something so many times eventually it just becomes dull in your head?

SEABROOKE: Yeah I do. It’s hard dealing with people who won’t compromise or validate your own desires.

PHOEBE: Yes, but...I still feel like I should've done better.

SEABROOKE: It seems like he was set in his ways, and you shouldn’t let his hang-ups stop you from enjoying yourself now.

PHOEBE: I guess so.

SEABROOKE: It's completely fine, Phoebe, to want to have sex your way. Just be patient. Also talk to Meiosis. I mean, who knows? He might be worried about the same thing.

PHOEBE: You think?

SEABROOKE: I don’t know. But you seem like a sensible and caring person. I’m sure if you talk it out with Meiosis you can come up with a solution to ensure your satisfaction, and his comfort.

PHOEBE: Thanks Dr. Seabrooke. Well...yeah, thanks.

SEABROOKE: You’re welcome Phoebe. Thanks for calling.

It can be a hard thing, to confront past relationships, but in order to know where you're going, I find it's good to know where you’ve come from. A good amount of self-knowledge can go a long way in getting what you want, in and out of the bedroom.

Oh? It looks like we have our next caller, you’re on the air, go ahead.

FIONA: Hi Dr Seabrooke... so, my name is Fiona, I’m human, and I’ve been dating one of the fair folk for a couple of months. We really enjoy each other’s company and have compatible interests, but I know she’d like us to be physically intimate more often and I-I feel messed up about it.

SEABROOKE: Is it that the two of you have incompatible libidos, or is there another issue?

FIONA: Another issue. She’s... well, you know, she’s glamorous in the most literal sense of the term. She’s beautiful, and I’m just a frumpy dork with acne and stretch marks. When we do sex stuff I feel incredibly awkward and ugly. She says I’m being ridiculous and that she’s super attracted to me, but she’s so out of my league.

SEABROOKE: Low self-esteem can be a really difficult burden to bear, especially when coupled with comparing yourself to someone you personally find attractive. You’re very negative in the way you speak about yourself, which concerns me a little and which might be worth speaking to a professional about in the future. When you and your partner talk about this issue, how does she respond when you call yourself frumpy or point out things you think of as flaws?

FIONA: She says she likes them, because they’re human. She likes to touch them, but I feel self-conscious when she does.

SEABROOKE: Your lover is from a less physically vulnerable species than you are. The things we’re often taught by society to devalue, aging and imperfection, for instance, are unique and remarkable from her perspective. When you’re together, have her touch the parts of your body you’re insecure about, while telling you what she loves about them. Try to see them as something precious to the person you care about. Do you think you can do that?

FIONA: I’ll do my best. Thanks, Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call.

That sort of low self-esteem? It’s something so many people struggle with, myself included. It’s so easy to judge yourself. If you’re hearing that critic in your head, remember that they’re thoughts - you can fight back by being a little gentler with yourself, and remember that our critics aren’t always right, and even when they are, it’s okay to mess up every now and again.

Oh! Time for an ad break, I think! This is Supernatural Sexuality, and we’ll be back after these messages.

[AD BREAK]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, I think we’re ready for some more calls!

Let’s get to it, you’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke, how are you doing today?

THEATRE GHOST: Greetings doctor! I have called upon you, for I require advice and assistance with a most intimate dilemma!

SEABROOKE: Well, that’s what I’m here for! What can I do for you?

THEATRE GHOST: [Starts low, intensity ramps up during the line] First you must understand who I am. I am a spectre of the stage, a shadow behind the curtain, a wraith of drama that seeps into both the production and building of which spectacle delights audiences with magnificent portrayals of hope, dreams and fears!

SEABROOKE: You are a theatre ghost!

THEATRE GHOST: You wound me, my lady, with your common parlance. However crudely though, I admit you speak with accuracy. I haunt a delightful auditorium that sees plays and productions from the greatest of playwrights and actors. Truly, my theatre is the finest to be standing in this town.

SEABROOKE: I can hear you are very proud of it. What troubles you enough to call in tonight?

THEATRE GHOST: Ah... Well, you see, as is the custom, I have a box that is always set aside for me, for every performance.

SEABROOKE: Of course.

THEATRE GHOST: Lately however, there has a been a most unscrupulous young gentleman who has been sneaking into the theatre and residing in my reserved box in order to take in the shows.

SEABROOKE: I take it you have not... encouraged him to leave?

THEATRE GHOST: Oh, I tried at first, of course! I rattled and raged and froze the box to the iciest of temperatures! I dropped sandbags on stage during a show - not to harm anyone of course, simply to make my displeasure known. However, he could not be swayed from his ravenous consumption of the arts! And because he is sneaking in and out like a common thief, the staff have no clue that he has been breaking our agreement!

SEABROOKE: If you don’t mind me saying so, this sounds more like something you could take to the staff of the theatre. Why are you calling me about it?

THEATRE GHOST: Because... something changed, Doctor. After several performances where he would not consider leaving before the curtain fell, no matter how I vexed him, I grew fatigued and began to simply observe him.

Doctor, I have never seen a human with such a passion for the arts that it rivals my own! But his eyes light up like a galaxy of diamonds when the curtain rises, and his knuckles turn white as he grips the balustrade when tension fills the auditorium! Truly he feels moved by the dramatic in a way that I only barely remember from my own youth. It makes me feel alive again too, to be next to him in the box, and to feel that fire and passion again so clearly!

I began to make myself more known to him outside of icy air and creaking boards. I began to warm the air at his back, began to whisper secrets from backstage in his ear, leaving me offerings of sweets and poetry that he rests gently upon his seat when he vacates the theatre. Dearest, brightest, most esteemed doctor, I have fallen most unwell with infatuation. What is the path forwards for a lovesick phantom such as I?

SEABROOKE: Well, first of all, I think it’s wonderful that you’ve found someone who shares your passion for the theatre. You’ve been talking to him, yeah? You mention whispering secrets, but have you actually spoken with him, as one person to another?

THEATRE GHOST: Indeed, dear doctor, I have. A couple of nights now, we have shared tales of our lives and deaths with each other, quietly in the box in darkness long after a show. It was this way I learned that he slinks into the theatre the way he does as he does not have the money to attend legitimately; rather, his currency is better spent on his ailing mother for whom he cares. Devotee of the arts, sensitive poet and most loving son! It torments me how wondrous this man is, truly, does his perfection reach no limit?

SEABROOKE: Well, he does sound like a lovely young man, and it sounds like you’re having a wonderful time getting to know each other. I must admit though, I’m still struggling to grasp the problem here.

THEATRE GHOST: The problem! What future could our relationship possibly hold, dear doctor? I cannot leave the theatre, and he has his own life and family to attend! Are we cursed to only cross paths when a show plays out across the stage? Are we doomed to never have mundane domesticity together? What should happen if the theatre staff learn of his clandestine attendance? Oh, I am overwhelmed! There is too much at stake and yet I cannot stop myself falling for him! Ours is a tale destined for disaster...

SEABROOKE: All right, well, I think that’s being a little dramatic. Which I know is your nature, but nonetheless, there’s no reason to catastrophize about this before there’s actually any reason to worry. First of all, I don’t think you need to worry about the staff all that much. If you’re able to communicate with them, which I imagine you are, since you're calling me, you’ll be able to tell them to make special exceptions for your gentleman friend.

As for what the future might hold - there are a lot of options available to you. Perhaps he might get a job at the theatre, and you can see him more often. Perhaps you can, with the support of theatre staff, invite his mother along to a show so you can meet her. Perhaps he might move to a nearby building. Or perhaps you might find your binding to the theatre loosened with your new passion and be able to attend things at his invitation.

The future is not set, as any clairvoyant will tell you. I would encourage you not to worry so much about the far future, and simply concern yourself more with the present and the immediate future. Solutions to future problems can be sought when those problems actually arise.

And in terms of the present... keep doing what you’re doing. Keep talking and getting to know each other. Keep enjoying this wonderful new connection you have made. The joy and passion you have when you speak of this gentleman is beautiful, and I don’t want you to let that slip because you’re worrying about things that might not even be worth worrying about.

THEATRE GHOST: He is as fine as any play that has graced my stage.

SEABROOKE: Truly, I can sense that. One thing I will say that I’d like you to do though, is to tell the staff about him. Get them to give him a season pass, so he no longer has to sneak into the theatre. Don’t make him skulk around to see you anymore, let him come in through the front door and be treated with dignity. Can you do that?

THEATRE GHOST: Yes... yes, I shall amend our agreement to include unfettered access to the theatre for him.

SEABROOKE: Good. I think that will go a long way towards making you both feel more secure about this blooming relationship.

THEATRE GHOST: Thank you, dear doctor. I will try to be less concerned with the future and enjoy what blessings have fallen to me. You have been a great help.

SEABROOKE: I’m glad to hear it. Good luck, and feel free to call back if you ever do need more advice on some of those scary future possibilities, okay?

THEATRE GHOST: I most assuredly will. Thank you.

SEABROOKE: Thank you for the call! It really does go to show that just because there’s drama, doesn’t mean there isn’t a way forward! And sometimes, a little dramatic license, directed well, can be a good story for your relationship.

[Music: Theme music begins to fade in]

That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Phoebe, Fiona, and our dear Theatre Ghost for their calls today, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Phoebe was voiced by Tegan Benham-Bannon, with the call written by Patrick Weyland-Smith.

Fiona was voiced by Alicia Atkins, with the call written by Mary Borsellino.

And The Theatre Ghost was voiced by Zane Sexton, with the call written by Erin Kyan.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show!

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, two women from different worlds find love through the mic, in Interference. Find out more about this great show at orczone.com!

[Music: Theme fades out]

Episode 4: Not Your Fantasy

[MUSIC: Theme music begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. As always, if you need to talk, or if you’d like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

It’s been quite a week for me! I ended up travelling to Sydney for a relationship diversity conference, and I was so happy to see a number of fans there! I’m so pleased to hear from you about how many are finding love, or being inspired to communicate better with your partners. It's really recharged me for this week’s show, I’ll tell you that much!

Speaking of which, let’s get to the main part of the show, your calls! We have our first caller on the line. Hello and welcome to the programme Richard, how are you tonight?

KEVIN: [breathes heavily]

SEABROOKE: Sorry Richard, you're not coming through clearly. Can you hear us?

KEVIN: [snickers][faking deep voice] It's Dick, actually. Dick Har--

SEABROOKE: Why don’t we jump straight into your question.

KEVIN: Yeah, alright. I was wondering about your, uh, your carpet – no, wait, I mean your curtains.

SEABROOKE: Uh huh.

KEVIN: Do they, like – you know – match?

[BACKGROUND SFX: Kevin snickering]

SEABROOKE: Now that you mention it there’s actually an interesting story I could share about the common side effects of dating a Poltergeist. But I don’t think that’s why you’re really on the line with us tonight, is it Dick?

[Pause]

SEABROOKE: In addition to being an audio whiz, my producer Shannon does some pretty thorough screening of all our callers and she seems to think you really wanted some advice on, hm – boyfriend problems?

KEVIN: [mumbles inaudibly, clears throat]

SEABROOKE: Do you want to tell me about him?

KEVIN: Nah, uh... I don’t know, it's nothing...

SEABROOKE: Hey, it’s alright Di— So, you don't have to tell me what your real name, but is there something else I can address you as?

KEVIN: [changes to natural voice] Um, Kevin’s fine.

SEABROOKE: How old are you, Kevin?

KEVIN: Sixteen.

SEABROOKE: Sixteen, okay. Well it's good to have you on the line tonight.

KEVIN: Sure-yeah.

SEABROOKE: I don't know how much you've been listening to the show, but my advice is focused on romantic and sexual relationships between supernaturals and humans. Does that sound like it relates to something going on in your life?

KEVIN: [mumbles inaudibly]

SEABROOKE: Take your time. I know asking for advice in public isn’t always easy, but--

KEVIN: Can cling film really keep you from getting the bite?

SEABROOKE: Uh, I'm sorry?

KEVIN: Like, [deep sigh] my boyfriend said if we wrap everything up in it real tight, nothing can... you know... get through when... you know. So is that actually a thing?

SEABROOKE: So, Kevin, is your boyfriend a--

KEVIN: No, he's a human. But I'm a werewolf. And I know you're not supposed to pass that stuff on to non-supernaturals without, like, getting married first or something. But all anyone ever tells you about how to avoid that is don't bite people. Like-like that's all there is to it. So, my boyfriend said he read online that with the cling film-- if we just cover everything in it, there's nothing to worry about when you... yeah. But I kind of thought if you have to have plastic all over your face the first time you... do anything... It just kinda feels like it'd be weird, you know? So, I guess, how do you...?

SEABROOKE: That's a great question, Kevin. First off though – just to be really clear for everyone listening – cling film is not an effective barrier against STI's or a werewolf bite.

KEVIN: Oh – oh, okay, yeah, I didn't think – I mean, of course that'd be stupid.

SEABROOKE: No, no, it's alright – your boyfriend is on the right track with a preventative barrier, it's just not a great material choice outside of the kitchen. Since you’re mostly trying to avoid teeth-to-skin contact, what I have heard good things about are sport mouthguards. I had a werewolf client in my private practice who said she used the same thing she wore for a game of roller derby – though I’d still recommend additional barrier protection if there's going to be genital contact. Now I know she had hers custom-fit by her dentist--

KEVIN: [horrified gibberish noises]

SEABROOKE: But depending on your comfort there are also boil-and-bite options you can get from a pharmacy or sports store.

KEVIN: Definitely the second one.

SEABROOKE: Just make sure whatever style you use has a snug fit. I'd suggest wearing it around your house first, so you can get used to the feeling of it on your own.

KEVIN: Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Um, I guess I should... go now...

SEABROOKE: Before you do, have you and your boyfriend talked about safer sex options that don’t have to do with the bite?

KEVIN: You mean condoms and stuff?

SEABROOKE: I do.

KEVIN: Ummmmmm... Sort of?

SEABROOKE: If ever you're looking for more information on that front, there are a couple of things I want to recommend before you go. Take a look at a website called Scarleteen dot com. There’s a lot of information on there about sexual health and safety, and they’ve made a real effort to make sure they’re covering those bases for human and supernatural teens. That’s S-C-A-R-L-ETeen. You can also check the sexual health services in your area – sexual health nurses are a great resource, and your conversations with them stay confidental.

KEVIN: Yeah, I might check that out.

SEABROOKE: One more thing – it’s good that you and your boyfriend are talking about these things. Keep doing that. And if talking about sex feels weird or awkward some of the time, that’s pretty common no matter how old you are or what your teeth can do.

KEVIN: Good, ‘cause it feels really weird.

SEABROOKE: Talk about that too. You might find out you two have more in common there than you think.

KEVIN: Yeah, I guess. I mean, I will. Talk. We’ll talk. [pause] Hey - thanks. Seriously. And sorry about the whole...[deep voice] you know.

SEABROOKE: Apology accepted. I’m glad you called.

KEVIN: Yeah. Me too.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call.

There are times I’m very glad you’re a psychic, Shannon, it lets me know that whoever makes it through to me does need help! And just quietly everyone, having a producer who knows what’s likely to go wrong does wonders for making a smooth show! I’m very grateful for my... now very blushing producer! Sorry! I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that on air, Shannon.

Let’s go on to the next call, shall we? You’re on the air, go ahead.

MELODY: Hi Dr Seabrooke, my name is Melody.

SEABROOKE: Melody, what would you like to talk about?

MELODY: Well, it’s about my partners. They’re both sea witches and we’ve been in a polyamorous triad for a couple of years now. Though recently they’ve been talking more about all the ‘cool’ sea witch stuff they get to do, like controlling the sea and talking to the moon.

SEABROOKE: And this is something that upsets you?

MELODY: Yeah, I feel excluded. We all connected because I’m a scuba diving instructor and we met by chance one day on the beach ... But that all seems so long ago. I feel like I’m not cool enough for them anymore. So I think... I think I’d like to become a sea witch like them!

SEABROOKE: To be honest, Melody, I don’t think your decision to be a sea witch should be based on wanting to look cool in front of your partners.

MELODY: Yeah I guess not. I just don’t feel interesting anymore.

SEABROOKE: You’re a unique part of this relationship, Melody. Your partners wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t want to be.

MELODY: But I’m boring!

SEABROOKE: Have your partners told you this?

MELODY: No!

SEABROOKE: You’re not boring, Melody. Have you tried talking to your partners about how you feel?

MELODY: No. I don’t want to sound silly!

SEABROOKE: You won’t sound silly. Like I say often on this show, communicating with your partners is important. I suggest talking to them about including you in more conversations about commonalities that you share, like a love of water.

MELODY: That’s true. I always hesitate about communicating, it’s super hard!

SEABROOKE: I understand this is hard, but I think in this instance it will really help. And promise me you’ll put becoming a sea witch on the backburner for now. Changing who you are to be cooler is not a healthy way to solve problems, but becoming a sea witch could be something you discuss with your partners in the future if that's what you really want.

MELODY: I will. Thanks, Dr Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call, Melody.

There are so many paths to change in our world, some hard, some easy, but change is something that should come from within you, not because you want to fit in with people around you. This is Supernatural Sexuality, time for a quick break, and we’ll be back after these messages.

Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, I think we’re ready for some more calls!

Now, Shannon tells me we have a call coming in via the national relay service. So please bear with us as there may be a little dead air in between our conversation, and I will be speaking a lot slower for the relay officer.

Hello, this is Dr Seabrooke! What can I do for you? Go ahead.

[BACKGROUND SFX: keyboard typing, office noises]

ALEX: Hello, this is relay officer Alex, I’ll be relaying this call to you.

SEABROOKE: Hello Alex! I’m ready, go ahead.

ALEX (AS ANTONY): [pause] Hi Doctor, my name is Antony [pause]. Thanks for taking my call [pause]. I don’t listen to your show because I’m deaf, but people talk about it on the internet and I’m hoping you can help me out. [as Alex] Go ahead.

SEABROOKE: Of course! What can I help you with? Go ahead.

ALEX (AS ANTONY): [pause] Thank you. I pre-typed this, so hopefully that makes this part a bit faster. I’m single, and I’m a minotaur, and I’m having a lot of trouble finding dates. Or, actually, I don’t generally have trouble finding dates, but I do have a lot of trouble keeping them.

You see, everyone thinks of minotaurs as super macho alpha male types, and I'm definitely not that. I’m just a regular guy! I’m not interested in being anyone’s bodice ripping fantasy, you know? I just want to eat at nice restaurants and see fun movies and spend some quality time with someone special. Even in the bedroom, I’m pretty vanilla. I’m not really into domination fantasies or anything. I just wish people didn’t assume I am just because I’m a minotaur.

So I guess my question is, how do I find people who won’t try to force me into a macho stereotype? [as Alex] Go ahead.

SEABROOKE: That’s a good question, Antony, and something I bet a lot of our listeners can relate to. People sometimes make a lot of assumptions about us based on stereotypes of our species. I’m so sorry to hear it’s been happening to you so often!

I think the first thing you can do is be very up front when you meet people to date. Tell them that you’ve been struggling with people making assumptions about your role in relationships, and you want to make sure you’re starting out on the right foot.

ALEX: Uh yeah, hold on, just let me type that out.

SEABROOKE: Sorry, yes, I’ll go slower [pause].

If you are using the internet or apps to find dates, I recommend putting something on your profile about how you don’t want to play the alpha male role, either in or out of the bedroom. Be firm in your boundaries. If someone tries to talk you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t just brush it off, but be really clear and tell them that what they’re doing is making you uncomfortable. If they don’t respect that, then you know that they’re not someone you want to date.

ALEX: Just a second...

SEABROOKE: No problem.

ALEX: Aaaand cool. Go ahead.

SEABROOKE: In terms of finding the right people... well, people of all species have been trying to figure that one out for thousands of years, and unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve solved that yet.

But that can be as much a blessing as a curse - you might find the right person somewhere you never expected. So keep putting yourself out there, Antony, because you will find someone who appreciates you eventually.

Does that help? Go ahead.

ALEX (AS ANTONY): Yes, it does. Thank you very much. [as Alex] Your caller is getting ready to sign off.

SEABROOKE: Good luck, Antony. Goodbye. And thanks to you too, Alex.

Thank you so much to the National Relay Service for helping us out with Antony’s call, they do such important work, helping us make this world just a little more accessible for everyone, and it’s quite possible that Antony got help he might not have received without them. You can find out more about the NRS at relayservice.gov.au

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: Well, that’s it for our show this week, I’d like to say thanks to Kevin, Melody and Antony for their calls today, as well as Alex for their services. Special thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Kevin was voiced by Michael Grisso, with the call written by Andrea Klassen.

Melody was voiced by Leslie Gideon, with the call written by Rae White.

And Alex, our Relay Service Officer speaking for Antony, was voiced by Kess Nelson, with the call written by Erin Kyan.

As a brief note, captioned episodes of this show are available on YouTube, with transcripts available on our website. For those who need or want them, links are available in the show notes.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show!

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, two Australians take a road trip across America in the pursuit of cryptids and legends in B.S. Cryptid! Find out more about this great show at https://syn.org.au/show/b-s-cryptid.

[MUSIC: Theme fades out]

Episode 3: Cruising Out Of Sight

[MUSIC: Theme begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, This is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

[MUSIC: Continues on for another 10-15 seconds, then fades out]

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities.

As always, if you need to talk, or if you’d like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

It’s been very, very cold in Melbourne this week, so I hope you’re snuggled under the covers tonight with someone special to you, keeping yourself warm and bundled up, unless you’re a cold-lover, in which case I hope you’re making the most of the cold weather! Whether you’re cuddled up for warmth, or stretched out in the cold, I’m ready to start taking your calls!

Now um- Shannon tells me this next caller has been very...well, insistent is a good word for it, let's see how we can help.

THEO: [sighs] Hello?? Can you hear me? Am I on?

SEABROOKE: Yes, you’re on the air. Welcome to the show, I’m Dr Seabrooke--

THEO: Yeah, yeah, I know you, that’s, that's why I’m calling.

SEABROOKE: Yes, but I, and the listeners don’t know you.

THEO: Oh... Right, sorry. My name’s Theo.

SEABROOKE: Pleasure to meet you Theo! What did you want to talk to me about?

THEO: [long huffy sigh] I don’t-I don't think my fiance wants to keep me.

SEABROOKE: To... keep you? As in, like a kink domme/sub situation? Or--

THEO: [Interrupting] No! No not like that!

SEABROOKE: Okay then, well in what way?

THEO: [sighs] Well, previously, Ollie had followed all the rules. [more smitten as line continues] He called me by crying 7 tears into the ocean in the moonlight... [back to anxious] So I came to land, and shed my pelt, and-

SEABROOKE: Oh, you’re a selkie, right?

THEO: Yeah.

SEABROOKE: Did Ollie take your pelt...?

THEO: No! No- he won’t take my pelt... That’s the problem! I don’t know what I’m doing wrong.

SEABROOKE: Hey. It’s okay Theo. Just breathe.

THEO: [deep breaths] I don’t know why he doesn’t want it. He says he loves me.

SEABROOKE: That’s a big statement there Theo. Do you think Ollie is lying when he says that he loves you?

THEO: No. Never.

SEABROOKE: But you feel that if he doesn’t want to take your pelt, it must mean he doesn’t love you.

THEO: Yeah.

SEABROOKE: Okay. Theo, doesn’t your pelt mean you can go back into the ocean and see other selkies?

THEO: Look, I know what you’re going to say. You’re gonna say something like ‘I shouldn’t want to be isolated from the sea’ and ‘this isn’t what selkies want’ but that’s not what this means!

SEABROOKE: What does it mean to you?

THEO: That he’s serious about us! That he’s following my people's traditions!

SEABROOKE: Hmm. Have you asked him what this means to him?

THEO: No.

SEABROOKE: Is Ollie home now? Could you get him on the phone as well?

THEO: He is, but- why do you want to talk to him?

SEABROOKE: I think it might be worth finding out what your pelt means to him as well.

[SFX: There’s the sound of the phone being shuffled between two people]

OLLIE: Hello?

SEABROOKE: Hello there, am I speaking with Ollie?

OLLIE: Uhh, yeah- you’re on speaker phone right now, Theo’s still here.

SEABROOKE: Great. Ollie, do you understand who I am and what I do?

OLLIE: Yeah, we listen to your show most nights.

THEO: Don’t tell her that!

SEABROOKE: I’m flattered. Ollie, I’ll launch right into it then, what does Theo’s pelt mean to you?

OLLIE: Uhh, what-what do you mean by that?

SEABROOKE: Theo has been talking to me about you not wanting to take his pelt, is that right?

OLLIE: Yes.

SEABROOKE: Why is that?

OLLIE: It’s not mine to take.

THEO: [Interrupting] Yes it is! I offered it to you!

OLLIE: No it’s not, you can’t offer something like that! It’s like- offering your leg, or a kidney-

SEABROOKE: Okay, let me just stop you there-

THEO: [Interrupting] Humans do that! What if you needed a kidney transplant?

OLLIE: Yeah, but I don’t NEED your pelt-

SEABROOKE: Ollie! Theo! I think I know what’s going on here.

THEO: Is it that Ollie doesn’t want me?

OLLIE: I’m right here!

THEO: Fine. Is it that you don’t want me? [heavy huff]

SEABROOKE: No. It’s not that at all. Ollie, you believe that taking Theo’s pelt is akin to taking a body part from him, right?

OLLIE: Yes.

SEABROOKE: AND, Theo, you believe that by Ollie not taking your pelt, he’s not adhering to selkie traditions, which are important to you, right?

THEO: Right!

SEABROOKE: Okay. I think I understand. Ollie, Theo is trying to show you in his terms his commitment to you. In his family, giving over his pelt means that you two will be together forever. Theo feels you’re rejecting him when you reject this.

THEO: [quietly] cause he IS rejecting me.

SEABROOKE: BUT, Theo, Ollie doesn’t want to take your freedom from you. I’m willing to bet he loves you so much that your freedom and happiness is paramount to him, especially since your pelt DOES hold that kind of power. Is that true Ollie?

OLLIE: Absolutely.

SEABROOKE: And you don’t want that kind of power imbalance in your relationship.

OLLIE: No. Never. Th-Theo- I want you to want to stay with me, not that you HAVE to stay with me. I don’t - I don't want that to be something that could be held over your head. It feels controlling. And wrong.

THEO: But- It doesn’t feel wrong to me. It feels like you’re rejecting my traditions.

SEABROOKE: Can I interject with a suggestion here?

THEO: Yeah, go ahead.

SEABROOKE: Theo, you mentioned earlier that you and Ollie are engaged?

THEO: We are!

SEABROOKE: Ollie, would I be right in assuming this is your human way of communicating a similar thing to Theo’s pelt?

OLLIE: ...I guess it is.

THEO: Oh.

SEABROOKE: It would seem that you two are already making this commitment. Can I suggest that Ollie- you take Theo’s pelt, but you don’t lock it up. You’re giving him a part of you in marriage, let him give you part of him as well.

OLLIE: But-

SEABROOKE: He can access it anytime, but you ARE dating a selkie. It’s only fair if you embrace some of Theo’s traditions too.

OLLIE: [breathes in] I-You’re right. You're right.

SEABROOKE: But it might also be worth talking with Theo’s family, and maybe the two of you could work out new selkie traditions that would feel good for the both of you, in the same way the engagement does. Would that work for you too Theo?

THEO: Yeah. Yeah that-that sounds... really good.

OLLIE: And I’d love to explore new fusions with you.

THEO: Grandma does love writing selkie stories. She could probably help in this situation.

SEABROOKE: And this way the two of you can embrace both of your heritages, together.

OLLIE: We’re already planning the wedding on the beachside so Theo’s family can attend- maybe they can help out with the ceremony?

THEO: My brother would love that.

SEABROOKE: Sounds like the two of you have some planning to do then! Are you both good from here?

THEO: That’s all, from me at least. Thank you.

OLLIE: Really, Thank you for this. Is there somewhere we can send a wedding invite?

SEABROOKE: [laughs] If you stay on the line afterwards, Shannon will put you through to the station address. Goodnight to the both of you.

OLLIE: Goodnight!

THEO: Night, thanks again.

SEABROOKE: It can be such a hard thing, when two different cultures come together, with such different ways of thinking. I see this so often in my practice, and honestly, communication is key. I don’t believe there’s any cultures that are so different that they can’t be bridged, if we’re willing to listen to each other, and find something we can all agree on.

It looks like our next caller is ready, you’re on the air, go ahead.

QUINN: Uhh- so my name is Quinn, I’m not sure if this really counts as something to call about, because it’s not a problem I’ve got exactly, I just wanted to talk to someone about something that I think about a lot. Is that okay?

SEABROOKE: Why don’t you tell me a little about yourself and what’s bothering you, and I’ll see what I can do.

QUINN: Well uhh, I turned eighteen two months ago. That’s when people in my coven come of age, and, well, we’re shapeshifting magicians, right? When I was growing up I was encouraged to try on different identities, so I could choose what felt best for me, you know?

SEABROOKE: I think that’s a very wise form of self-discovery for any young person to take.

QUINN: But now I’m supposed to choose, and I-I wanna be able to date other adults, and I don’t feel comfortable doing that until I pick out who I am, but I just don’t have an answer.

SEABROOKE: Supposed to choose in what sense in particular? Your default physical form?

QUINN: [laughs] No, we don’t care about that, people change how they look all the time. [back to serious] But, I don’t know... I-I feel like the way the world is right now, I’m supposed to choose a gender and a sexuality and-and stick with those as who I am, you know? So I know where I fit, and other people know where I fit, and everything. But I don’t know! It feels as easy to shift between those things as it does changing the colour of my lips or my hair! I don’t know who I am.

SEABROOKE: First of all, I want you to know that anything that’s making you this anxious absolutely counts as a problem, and I’m very glad that you called me. As far as knowing who you are goes, your coven may mark eighteen as the age of adulthood, but that doesn’t mean everyone expects some invisible switch to flip and for you to know the answers to everything. Self-awareness is a lifelong process.

And mutability can be an identity in itself. Not everyone will always understand, but if you feel like the most authentic expression of who you are is someone whose sexuality and gender are variable, then embrace that as who you are! Nothing about who we are is ever permanent, and we shouldn’t be afraid of where our journey takes us in exploring who we can be.

QUINN: But how do I date other people like this?

SEABROOKE: Be as honest as you can be. I promise you, even the people your age who seem to have everything worked out are just as new to this as you are. Everyone’s trying their best to find happiness and connection, and those things are far easier to find when you accept yourself first. I’m certain you’re not the first person in your community to go through this kind of self-doubt; ask around and see if there’s anyone who can offer guidance. You shouldn’t have to compromise or ‘pick’ anything that isn’t your truth.

QUINN: [deep sigh] I’m really glad I called.

SEABROOKE: I am too. I hope everything works out for you, and congratulations on your coming of age.

There are so many people out there, feeling like they don’t know who they are yet, although not always like this! Remember that it’s alright to take another person on your journey, as long as you’re communicating and being honest with yourself and your chosen partner or partners while you find out together. And even if the journey never ends, if there’s never a destination? That’s fine too, as long as you keep that clear.

This is Supernatural Sexuality, we’ll be back after these messages.

[Ad Break]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, I think we’re ready for some calls!

Shannon tells me our next caller is on the line, you’re on the air, go ahead.

[BACKGROUND SFX: Outside ambience, wind noises]

SENAN: Hello Dr Seabrooke! It’s Senan here. My first time calling.

SEABROOKE: Welcome, Senan.

SENAN: I heard your show the other week. I really related to... Ramona, having visibility issues as well.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like you’re outside?

SENAN: I am! I hope that’s ok.

SEABROOKE: Of course. There’s no problems hearing you.

SENAN: I was thinking about all this stuff and I like to walk when I think.

SEABROOKE: We have that in common.

SENAN: [laughs] I have to admit I also use that as a... a euphemism.

SEABROOKE: For?

SENAN: Cruising. Oh, do you know what that is?

SEABROOKE: Do you mean flirting for hookups, or beat play?

SENAN: [laughs] So you do know.

SEABROOKE: I’ve taken a summer walk or two through Tiergarten at dusk...

SENAN: [wistfully] Oh, Berlin...

SEABROOKE: I also have friends who are regulars at Lab.Oratory.

SENAN: I’ll never look at tupperware the same way again.

[Dr Seabrooke laughs.]

SEABROOKE: So, I’m assuming we’re talking about beats, but let’s keep any discussion to legal spaces.

SENAN: Oh, no problem... It's just I was cruising and I met Nathan. Super cool guy. He’s an exhibitionist. I’m a voyeur.

SEABROOKE: Sounds good so far.

SENAN: It is. He’s not an emotional Neanderthal, and he can communicate. He’s a fucking unicorn.

SEABROOKE: [laughs] Good to hear, but what’s the problem?

SENAN: He got me to watch him fuck someone the other night and it made me a little uncomfortable.

SEABROOKE: Jealousy?

SENAN: No, no... The other guy didn’t know I was there because I was- invisible.

SEABROOKE: Ah. Just to clarify, can you control your visibility?

SENAN: Yes. I know what you’re going to say...

SEABROOKE: ... and it needs saying regardless. There’s a real problem with consent there.

SENAN: Right?! I thought so too, but Nathan said the other guy was an exhibitionist, so wouldn’t care.

SEABROOKE: So, you were in a cruising environment.

SENAN: Yes.

SEABROOKE: Your partner initiated sex with someone else... I’m assuming he did this without talking.

SENAN: Yep.

SEABROOKE: So, the other person was never really given an opportunity to express they were comfortable with you watching.

SENAN: No. They weren’t.

SEABROOKE: They should have been told, Senan.

SENAN: I...

SEABROOKE: And I know you know that, but knowing and doing can be two different things.

SENAN: You’re right.

[SFX: Outside ambient noise fills the silence.]

SEABROOKE: So, if you weren’t jealous, then what was the problem from your perspective?

SENAN: Right, well... yesterday Nathan was jerking off in my lounge room, but didn’t know I was home and then when I let him know that I was home he was angry... that I’d been watching him.

SEABROOKE: Did you talk about it?

SENAN: Yeah. It ended up being a great conversation, but I still don’t get why I copped it so hard. He apologised for snapping at me, but I think he still resents me a bit.

SEABROOKE: Ok, I don’t want to speak on Nathan’s behalf, but let's talk a little about being an exhibitionist.

SENAN: I didn’t think it was that complicated.

SEABROOKE: Everyone is different, Senan.

SENAN: I know.

SEABROOKE: But exhibitionism kind of comes in two flavours, if you will.

SENAN: Tasty!

SEABROOKE: [laughs] Stay with me, Senan!

SENAN: Sorry.

SEABROOKE: The show-offs want to be seen. They’re there for the audience.

SENAN: Ok.

SEABROOKE: And then there’s the taboo- breakers. They’re there to feel like they’re breaking the rules.

SENAN: Right, so they don’t need someone to see them. They just know.

SEABROOKE: Yes.

SENAN: So Nathan is the show-off type.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like he is.

SENAN: Ohh, so he needs to be seen.

SEABROOKE: He needs to see that he is being seen.

SENAN: Right.

SEABROOKE: But more importantly, he needs to agree to being seen.

SENAN: Right. Of course.

SEABROOKE: And remember sometimes he won’t want to be seen.

SENAN: So I should check in each time.

SEABROOKE: Exactly.

[SFX: Outside ambient noise fills silence.]

SENAN: Do I do that when we’re cruising as well?

SEABROOKE: What have you done up until now?

SENAN: Well just a lot of dirty chat to be honest.

SEABROOKE: What about after?

SENAN: What do you mean?

SEABROOKE: What happens if something goes wrong?

SENAN: Nothing has.

SEABROOKE: So far.

SENAN: So far.

SEABROOKE: I’d suggest to keep it that way, you should have a chat beforehand. Not just before, but during the day, while you’re sober and not tired.

SENAN: Okay.

SEABROOKE: Then sort out some guidelines. These are just ideas you both mutually agree to that can guide you both in unexpected situations.

SENAN: Like he’s allowed to fuck who he likes?

SEABROOKE: And that you’re allowed to watch, but then it’s also important to set firm boundaries. Talk about what each of your limits are. Use examples.

SENAN: From the past?

SEABROOKE: You can do. Clearly he’s more private about masturbating. Maybe ask him why.

SENAN: And I want to stay visible while I’m cruising, even if he doesn’t want me to.

SEABROOKE: Then I’d put that down as a firm rule.

SENAN: I like the idea of talking about this during the day. Usually it's after a few pints and we’re horny.

SEABROOKE: It can feel a bit more awkward at first, but then you normalise it, and the conversation can change as your tastes do.

SENAN: So talk about fucking over a cup of tea, with some Tim Tams.

SEABROOKE: It’s not a bad way for a couple to spend some of their afternoon together.

SENAN: I can’t do that with the other people cruising though.

SEABROOKE: Technically you could, but much more difficult to organise.

SENAN: [laughs] I guess.

SEABROOKE: You can make certain assumptions based on the situation. There is a certain implied consent to those sorts of spaces.

SENAN: The whole not-talking thing.

SEABROOKE: People do take advantage of that, but I’d say a good rule of thumb is that as the experience becomes more intense, then the consent needs to be more explicit.

SENAN: So just ask if they’re okay?

SEABROOKE: Absolutely. It’s also fine to wrap that in dirty talk, as long as you’re listening to the answers as well.

SENAN: I’d be worried guys would feel the need to go along with the dirty talk.

SEABROOKE: You can meet them halfway. “Do you like that?” is a good question to ask because then they can make the answer dirty or not.

SENAN: Good point. Whatever keeps the information flowing, I guess.

SEABROOKE: And if they don’t respond, then you might need to insist on the check- in.

SENAN: I usually check in with them afterwards as well.

SEABROOKE: That’s great.

SENAN: Yeah I ended up walking a guy back to his car and sitting with him for half an hour one night a little while ago. I found him at the end of some intense looking group play. It was his first time.

SEABROOKE: Sounds like he needed a cup of tea.

SENAN: [laughs] I offered.

SEABROOKE: That was a lovely thing to do.

[SFX: Outside ambient noise fills the silence.]

SENAN: Thanks, Dr Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: No problem, but I do think that’s a good place to leave it.

SENAN: [grateful] You’ve been a great help. Looking forward to seeing Nathan tomorrow.

SEABROOKE: Good to hear it. Take care, Senan.

Wow, that was a long one, I’m actually really glad Senan called in. Consent is so important, and this is not just something that our cruising listeners should think about - Consent shouldn’t just be about the first time, it’s something that should always be a part of your relationship. Remember to check in, if you haven’t recently.

[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: That brings us to the end of our show tonight, I’d like to thank Theo and Olly, Quinn, and Senan for calling in tonight, and thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer.

I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Theo was voiced by Ian Irving and Olly was voiced by Isaiah Johnson, with the call written by Sav Emmett Wolfe.

Quinn was voiced by Georgia Mckenzie, with the call written by Mary Borsellino.

Senan was voiced by Jarred Worley, with the call written by Alexander Swords.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you’re not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show!

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, find out what the heroes talk about between the great adventures, on Inn Between! Find out more about this great show at thegoblinshead.com!

[MUSIC: Theme fades out]

Episode 2: Siren Calling

[Music: Theme Begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial Network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke!

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I'm your host, Doctor Olivia Seabrooke.

Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities.

If you have a problem and you'd like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I've been receiving quite a few messages from our listeners, and I'm so glad to hear that so many of you are finding so much help from our show! It's one of the reasons I'm so happy to have this show, and I'm looking forward to hearing from you tonight and helping you with your relationship issues.

Shannon tells me we have a caller on the line. Hi, you've on the air with Dr. Seabrooke, go ahead.

CALISTA: [brightly] Hi! I'm Calista and I've got a little problem I'm hoping you can help me with.

SEABROOKE: I hope so too! What's troubling you?

CALISTA: So, I'm in my first serious relationship — I've dated people before, but it's always fizzled out or gone sideways a few months in. I love my girlfriend, but there's this... thing that happens. When things are starting to get hot and heavy, not every time, but a decent chunk of the time, I tend to...involuntarily astral project. Which is kind of a bummer for me, since I'm suddenly outside my body — sometimes in the same room, sometimes a mile or more away — and obviously it's kind of a mood killer for my girlfriend, too.

SEABROOKE: I see. Does this only happen during sex, or does it happen at other points, too?

CALISTA: [anxious] [sighs] I-I guess it happens other times, too? It's happened once when we were having a fight, and a few times when we started to talk about the future. It's really frustrating, and she's understanding, but it's starting to put a strain on our relationship — it's hard to talk about moving in together and how excited I am about that possibility when I literally can't finish the thought without going astral.

SEABROOKE: It sounds like the underlying thread isn't necessarily sex or physical intimacy, but intimacy and heightened emotions in general.

CALISTA: [uncertain] Probably? Probably? I mean... it just makes me nervous. I feel like I've never had this kind of a connection with someone before — usually, at the first sign of real intimacy, people tend to leave me hanging. You'd think I'd be happy to have someone sticking around, but...

SEABROOKE: Sometimes, a situation or scenario being unfamiliar is enough to cause anxiety in and of itself. Is it maybe just that you're used to people not sticking around, and this is different?

CALISTA: [sighs] That could be part of it, I think. I'm honestly not sure what happens after this, since I've never experienced it, and that's a little nerve-wracking. Someone ditching you as soon as you express real feelings sucks, but at least I know how that song and dance goes. But having these kinds of feelings and not knowing what comes next is a little scary.

SEABROOKE: That makes sense. Sometimes the known and uncomfortable situation is less scary than the unknown situation. And if you don't know what will happen next, and you're prone to anxiety, it's easy to create a worst-case scenario — or several of them in your head.

CALISTA: Yeah. And it's also like — I think part of it is, even aside from not knowing what comes next, I only have bad examples to look at, to base those potential scenarios on. So I wonder if it will happen here, but it'll be worse. Getting ghosted is awful, but it's a much scarier thought to be ghosted after someone has stuck around and I've been really vulnerable with them. You know?

SEABROOKE: That makes perfect sense. Let me ask you something, Calista — the rest of the time, are things good?

CALISTA: [anxious but happy] Yeah, at least I think so. I've never done this before, you know? We have minor disagreements every now and then, but they're usually resolved without a huge amount of fuss. I love her, and I want her to stay in my life.

SEABROOKE: And have you talked about all of this with her?

CALISTA: She's aware that it's a problem, but we haven't talked about anything behind it. She, um — she just thinks it's a fight or flight response, I think.

SEABROOKE: Okay. Let's see if we can help by starting out with some grounding techniques. practice your grounding. You can get something physical to help you ground, like a necklace or a bracelet, or even a stone to keep in your pocket — hematite is great for grounding. But you can also work on recognizing what it feels like right before you involuntarily project — many times, with something like this or even more standard anxiety issues, like panic attacks, there's warning signs that happen a few moments ahead of time. If you can figure out what your warning signs are, then you can start the grounding exercises as soon as you feel those, instead of after the involuntary projection has kicked in. Does that make sense?

CALISTA: Mmm, yeah! A lot of times, my vision will get a little fuzzy a few moments out, and my fingertips start to — tingle, like I've hit my funny bone or something.

SEABROOKE: Got it. So, once you start to feel those sensations, you can touch your physical item that's helping you ground, or even just start breathing slower and deeper. There's also looking for five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can smell, and so on, until you've done all your senses. I'd also suggest coming up with some kind of safeword that you can use with your girlfriend — something that means you just need a few moments to breathe and calm down, before you return to the conversation, or the activity you were previously doing.

CALISTA: That's a smart idea. [slightly self-deprecating] I don't know why I didn't think of that before.

SEABROOKE: It's easy to think you can ignore it and it'll go away in the moment, but a lot of the time, it's more effective to disrupt the pattern. If you can take a few minutes to re-center, and you talk with your girlfriend about your fears around rejection, I think you'll find yourself involuntarily projecting a lot less. Does that make sense to you?

CALISTA: [excited] Yeah. Yeah! That helps a lot. Thanks, Dr. Seabrooke!

SEABROOKE: Of course. Good luck!

It can be such a difficult thing, being present in this moment, with this kind of dissociation can cause so many problems, and I hope those out there having similar problems can learn a little from that last call.

SEABROOKE: Looks like we have our next caller ready to go, you're on air, go ahead.

TONY: Hi! Doctor Seabrooke! My name is Tony and... [bashful] I'm not sure how to say it exactly. It's really silly.

SEABROOKE: I'm here to help, Tony, I'm not here to judge.

TONY: Well, see, the thing is [coughs awkwardly] I'm a ... well, I'm non-binary. And uh. It's a bit ridiculous but I'm a — urgh! — I'm a Mothman. I don't like what my species is called.

SEABROOKE: You're having trouble with the "man" part of "Mothman"?

TONY: [laughs] Yeah. See! It sounds so ridiculous. You've just got to laugh.

SEABROOKE: It seems like it's affecting you a lot, if you're calling in.

TONY: Look... I've been trying to date a bit, but no one seems to respect that I'm non-binary. It's difficult.

SEABROOKE: Have you spoken to other Mothmen about this? Perhaps there's another Mothman out there who feels the same.

TONY: [anxious] I'm worried people will laugh at me.

SEABROOKE: You also seem to be laughing at yourself a lot. Tony, I think you should really listen to these feelings you're having.

TONY: Right.

SEABROOKE: My advice, first of all, would be to take yourself seriously.

TONY: I--Yeah. [sighs] I just worry it's silly.

SEABROOKE: If it's making you this uncomfortable, Tony, it's not silly. I would also recommend trying to find some other non-binary Mothmen and see how you can start changing the language you use to refer to yourselves. Does that sound more feasible?

TONY: I think so.

SEABROOKE: Okay.

TONY: And uh, thanks, Dr Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Anytime, Tony. Good luck.

Something important to remember - the language we use doesn't have to define us. This is Supernatural Sexuality, and we'll be back after these messages.

[Ad Break]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I'm Doctor Seabrooke, time for some more calls! Ok, our next caller is on the line, you're on the air, how can I help?

PETRA: [Speaking in a deeply gorgeous voice; also, sounding like she's recently been crying] Hi, I'm Petra, thanks for taking my call, Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: Of course Petra. It sounds like you've been having a tough time. I hope I can help.

PETRA: [slowly getting riled up] Really, it's about who my partner's family THINK I am. They – ungh, I hate saying this. Even just saying it on the radio makes me feel like a traitor. There's enough bullshit floating around about sirens in the mermaid world, and now I'm giving it air time!

SEABROOKE: Ooh, I know it can be hard to decide how to talk about intra-community issues or prejudices. We can definitely keep it general – just tell me enough so that I can understand what's going on.

PETRA: [dam bursting] You know what? Fuck it, I can do this. I'm sick of – just, maybe if I talk about – about what it's like from this end, maybe – well, it's not like I'm the first siren who's ever had to – ok, so, ok. Hmm. My boyfriend and his family are merfolk. He's fantastic. No problems there. I love him, he loves me. But his family – they don't believe that. They – they think I LURED him. With my SIREN WILES. Like that's just what we DO. Just go around sinking our conniving talons into poor unsuspecting lovers because it's just impossible that anyone could love us for ourselves.

SEABROOKE: I'm so sorry.

PETRA: [vulnerable] It – Doctor Seabrooke, it just hurts so much. It makes me feel like people are never going to fully trust me.

SEABROOKE: You aren't the first being I've heard this from – it comes up for sirens but also for incubi, succubi, anyone with hypnotic abilities, and it can be a source of damage not just to relationships or individuals but to whole communities. It's so important to understand that in this world, some of us have powers, and some of those powers can, hypothetically, be used coercively – but that's no reason to go around assuming malice or manipulation or coercion.

PETRA: [bolstered] Thank you, Doctor. It's... hearing you say that, it's rarer than it should be. You know, honestly, I'm sorrier for my boyfriend than I am for myself. He loves his family SO much. They've always been close, but now – he's, he's sticking by me, he refuses to believe what they're saying, but they're just saying that that's even more proof that he- I've got him wrapped around my little finger. I'm cracking this awful trench between him and all these people he loves. I don't know if I should even try with them. But I don't want him to lose his family over me. I, uh – I don't know what to do. I shouldn't have to be the grown-up here, and even if I am, they – they won't even meet me! They're so sure I'll manipulate them.

SEABROOKE: Hmm. Petra, I have an idea.

PETRA: Oh, I'm SO ready for an idea.

SEABROOKE: So, you already know that your boyfriend's family don't seem prepared to hear your voice, because of their own beliefs about power and how you'll wield it. But... I'm thinking about a letter. The great thing about letters is that you get to take your time drafting them. Right now, you're conflicted about whether you want to approach them with grace for your boyfriend's sake, or whether you want to express your hurt and disappointment. Drafting a letter gives you time to work that out. Write an angry draft, get it out of your system, and then take some time to think and churn, and then write a second draft. You have the right to your anger, but this way you'll also have the chance to channel it with care. And then it's up to them to try to grow beyond their current prejudices, if they're up for it. They might not be. But this way, at least you'll know you've made a good faith try. What do you reckon?

PETRA: It's worth a shot. It's – hmm. It could be better than the endless tension we have now, at least. I'm going to give it a go. Thanks, Doctor Seabrooke.

SEABROOKE: All the best, Petra. Good luck to both you and your boyfriend, whatever happens next.

And just in case it needs saying to our audience: We all have more power than we think, and that power isn't limited to the supernatural. Some of us just wear that power a little bit more obviously. As a therapist, I've been taught a fair bit over the years about the sentient psyche; some people would call that a coercive power. Actually, I'd definitely call that a coercive power, and it's VERY possible, easy even, to use unethically, if you're not thinking carefully. All any of us can do is be aware of power, notice how and when we're using it, and use it responsibly. Often those of us who KNOW we have coercive power are the most careful in wielding it; those of us who don't have such a clear and often stigmatised power source might want to take a few notes.

[Music: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: And that brings us to the end of our show tonight, I'd like to thank Calista, Tony and Petra for calling in tonight, and thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I'm Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you've found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way, I'll see you next week.

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.

Calista was voiced by Lucille Valentine, with the call written by Michelle Nickolaisen.

Tony was voiced by Jeffrey Nils Gardener, with the call written by Alison Evans.

Petra was voiced by Jessica Washington, with the call written by Hannah Aroni.

Thank you to Alexander Danner of Greater Boston for recording and directing assistance on this call.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show!

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, Listen to a modern day story of one man's influence, that continues beyond the grave in a city that's always on the move, in Greater Boston! Find out more about this great show at greaterbostonshow.com

Episode 1: Corporeal Pleasure

[Music: Theme begins]

ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!

SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome to the first ever episode of Supernatural Sexuality! I'm your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, Folklorist, Sexologist, and Couples and Family Therapist.

Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners just like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. I'm here to provide a different perspective, and maybe help you find a way forwards.

If you have a problem, and you'd like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.

I have to admit, I'm so happy to get the opportunity to get out of the office and onto the airwaves, and give everyone the chance to find happiness in their relationships, whatever those relationships might look like.

Before we start, I want to start the season right by acknowledging the traditional owners of the land we record upon today, the Boon Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation, and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging.

And now, it's time for your calls! Time for our first caller, you're on air, go ahead.

ADAM: Hi Dr Seabrooke, my name is Adam.

SEABROOKE: Hello Adam, good to hear you, so what's the situation?

ADAM: Well, See, it's about my girlfriend.

SEABROOKE: And she is?

ADAM: A werewolf.

SEABROOKE: Oh, lovely! Go on.

ADAM: It's just that, like, we've been dating for about a year, and I'm getting a little frustrated about the fact that she seems to keep really distant from me?

SEABROOKE: Well, that's a smidge vague there Adam, What do you mean by distant? That could mean a lot of things.

ADAM: Well, I want to spend more time with her, and be around her more.

SEABROOKE: How much time per week are you spending with her right now?

ADAM: Well, some weeks, it's like three or four times a week, but some weeks, she doesn't want me around at all, like, at all...

SEABROOKE: Hmm. Adam, would those weeks just happen to be around the full moon?

ADAM: Yeah, actually. Now that you mention it, they are!

SEABROOKE: Okay, okay, so, that's not uncommon or odd there. Werewolves often keep people away during full moon so they don't hurt people, especially younger ones that don't have full control when they change, why is this a problem for you?

ADAM: Well... it's just... I feel like she's keeping this part of herself away from me, you know? I want to love all of her! I feel like if I'm not there during her worst days, I don't deserve her at her best, you know?

SEABROOKE: Adam, I really admire your desire to accept your girlfriend so completely, it's really noble, but firstly, that's not your decision to make, and I don't think it's a decision that you should force onto your girlfriend either.

ADAM: Yeah, But, I want her to trust me enough that I can take care of myself!

SEABROOKE: I don't think that's the trust you need to be encouraging in her. She's building these limits in her life for good reason, she could seriously injure or even kill you, and I'm a big fan of my callers getting to make return appearances, you know!

ADAM: [laughs] Yeah, I guess.

SEABROOKE: I think you should work towards showing your girlfriend that you're willing to trust her boundaries around this. She's not going to warm up to the idea of you spending time around her on the full moon if you keep acting like you don't trust her knowledge about herself. I mean, if she lets down the boundaries a bit, and you just rushed forth, you could still get hurt, and she's likely to get even more distant!

ADAM: I just, I want to be more involved with her.

SEABROOKE: I know! It can be really hard, right? But you just have to give her the space to make the decision. Just, work to make it easier by showing that you respect the boundaries she has. You need to show her that she's right to trust you with this part of her, once she chooses to let you in.

ADAM: Okay, thanks Dr Seabrooke

SEABROOKE: Anytime, Adam! Be careful and keep the trust!

ADAM: Thanks!

SEABROOKE: And I think that's something to keep in mind for everyone listening - trying to force trust often looks like pushing boundaries - the best way to build trust is often to let the other person choose the rate at which they let you in.

SEABROOKE: Now, my producer Shannon tells me we have another caller on the line, you're on the air...

[SFX: PHONE INTERFERENCE AND STATIC]

SEABROOKE: Oh, geez! I'm so sorry, everyone, we appear to be having some--

[SOUND: INTERFERENCE AND STATIC FADE]

RAMONA: [apologetic] No, no, that's just me, I'm sorry!

SEABROOKE: Oh, that's much better.

RAMONA: Yeah, it's the whole ghost thing. Sometimes it messes with phone calls and stuff like that, but I think I managed to tone it down. Anyway, hi, uh, I'm Ramona. Sorry, long time listener but first time caller, kinda nervous.

SEABROOKE: Good evening, Ramona. Let's get right into it then, shall we? What can we help you with tonight?

RAMONA: [business-like] Okay, so. I'm a ghost, as previously established, and I've been with my current partner for a while--since back when I was still alive, actually.

SEABROOKE: Oh, I imagine that was quite the transition.

RAMONA: Yeah, it, uh, wasn't easy. (laughs) But Fran and I worked through it, you know? Except for one thing.

SEABROOKE: Hmm, and what would that be, Ramona?

RAMONA: [shy] Well, as I'm sure you can imagine, not having a tangible, physical body makes it difficult to do...certain other things.

SEABROOKE: Yes, I imagine there'd be a lot of unusual challenges that come along with being incorporeal. Was there something in particular to which you're referring?

RAMONA: You know, other things.

SEABROOKE: Oh! I do see why that in particular would be difficult to navigate. Before we get too deep into it, however, I do want to encourage you not to tiptoe around the subject. While I understand being a tad uncomfortable talking about the matter, (amused) talking about sex and relationships is literally why I'm here.

RAMONA: [relaxing] I--[laughs] Yeah, okay. I can definitely try to be more direct, I suppose.

SEABROOKE: Lovely! Now then, what seems to be the issue?

RAMONA: Well, I died almost two years ago, and Fran and I have more or less recovered from that--as much as anyone can, you know--and we've talked it over and we're ready to start having sex again.

SEABROOKE: Oh, well that's fantastic! But I don't need a crystal ball to sense that there's a "but" coming up.

RAMONA: But whenever I try to make myself corporeal for longer than it takes to do some entry-level poltergeist stuff...like knock over a chair, slam a door, you know you get it--I just, I get overwhelmed and overstimulated and I end up getting really bad sensory overload because of it.

SEABROOKE: Oh, I do see how that would put a damper on the mood a bit.

RAMONA: Yeah, just a smidge.

SEABROOKE: Okay, before we get too far into it, have you considered that maybe sex doesn't necessarily have a role in your relationship anymore? You said you've worked through it, but that doesn't change the fact that you and Fran have both been through something traumatic. I mean, Trauma can affect us in ways that we don't expect and it's important to really check in with ourselves and evaluate how our needs have changed.

RAMONA: Yeah, that's something we went over after, you know, it happened, and that's not what it is. We both, we both miss sex and we miss having sex with each other, and it just kills me--pun, not intended--that I...can't.

SEABROOKE: I see, I see. Well, have you considered that...

RAMONA: [frustrated] And it isn't even just the sex, you know? I'd like to be able to hold my partner's hand, or make her soup when she's sick, or hell, just not having to rely on Alexa to make a phone c--oh great, now it's turned on again. No! Turn off! How do these things even--Aha! Got it! Yes, hi, sorry. I'm here.

SEABROOKE: You're quite alright. So, when you start to make yourself more solid, what happens with regard to being overstimulated? What does it feel like? Not so much the attack itself, but the sensory overload leading up to it?

RAMONA: [plainly] Well. Okay, so even while intangible, I still have some of my senses. I can still hear and see and talk and all that good stuff. But when I make myself more corporeal, however, it's like being assailed by physical sensations. Even if I'm not touching anything, it's all the things I didn't usually notice while alive--things like the airflow in the room, or the humidity, or even dust! Did you know dust has a feeling to it? It kind of really sucks! A lot! And that's just sort of the passive things, that's not including actually touching or being touched by Fran. And once that starts hitting me, everything else starts getting wonky too. Sounds are either too loud or too quiet, and if I can process them at all; lights are suddenly too bright; things like that.

SEABROOKE: Alright. So, here's what we're going to do: I'm going to give you some tips on how to manage overstimulation, as well as go over some non-physical ways to be intimate with Fran. It won't be the same as sexual intimacy by any means, but it's no less important, and it'll help you two to still feel close in the meantime.

RAMONA: [deflated] Okay, that sounds--(sighs) yeah, okay.

SEABROOKE: So, while not the same as being sexually intimate with your partner, non-physical forms of intimacy are just as important and rewarding. One way to go about this is to--wait, sorry. When you're incorporeal, are you still visible? I know that it can often vary from ghost to ghost.

RAMONA: [perks up] Oh! Yes, I can, for the most part. I'm not completely opaque or anything, and I can disappear completely if I try, but the point of this is to be more present, so.

SEABROOKE: Of course, of course! Just wanted to make sure I was about to [mild drama] bestow wisdom that was actually applicable. Now then, something you can do, while visible, is spending a few minutes--just four or five should be fine--uninterrupted, of staring into each other's eyes. Just look at each other and think in silence. After the four minutes are up, reflect on what you were feeling and thinking. Another way is to tell each other something that you're grateful to the other for, no matter how miniscule or unimportant it may seem. Even something like meditation, like spending time just sitting together in silence and letting yourselves enjoy each other's company can go a long way.

RAMONA: I think we can manage those, yeah.

SEABROOKE: Good, I'm glad. Now then. when it comes to overstimulation, something that's generally recommended is trying to remove yourself from the stimulator, but I understand that would be counterproductive to your goal. You said that when it happens, it's not just your sense of touch that is affected, but your senses, correct?

RAMONA: Yes, that's right.

SEABROOKE: I would suggest preparing in advance next time you try to go corporeal, and mitigate other sensory input during the initial period after materialization. For instance, something such as avoiding having any music playing could help alleviate distress from sound--the same goes for making sure any loud machinery or fans are turned off. As far as odors go, refraining from lighting incense or candles could go a long way, as would making sure not to manifest too soon after Fran's been cooking. Now you mentioned that you were feeling particularly sensitive to dust as well? You could consider purchasing an air purifier, though not one that produces ozone--aside from it being counterproductive to your aims, it's just unhealthy in general. When it comes to more tactile sensations, I know that it can be tempting to rush headfirst into those situations, but it's important to curb your enthusiasm and ease yourself into them instead. I suggest switching out your bedspread in favor of cotton sheets, assuming you haven't done so already, and being sure to wash them so that they're fresh and clean before attempting...anything. That way if you're able to experience that tactility without issue, you can decide whether or not you feel comfortable proceeding further.

RAMONA: [thoughtful] Huh. Okay. That all sounds doable, I think that--yes, I think that'll be alright.

SEABROOKE: And lastly, I want to make sure you're gentle with yourself, Ramona. You've been through a lot, and I know you're eager, but you need to make sure you're not being too harsh. You said you're ready, but this isn't the sort of thing that's likely to go away completely. And I want you to be ready to forgive yourself on those days where, despite doing everything right, doing all the proper prep work, you just can't. Okay?

RAMONA: Okay. Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke. For everything. I really appreciate it. I, uh...I'm going to go get ready for when Fran gets home from work. We have a lot to go over.

SEABROOKE: Certainly sounds like it, thanks for your call! And that last bit goes out to all of our listeners as well - be gentle with yourself! If you don't, who will? This is Supernatural Sexuality, I'm Dr. Seabrooke, and we'll be back after these messages.

[Ad Pause]

SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I'm Dr Seabrooke, time to take some more calls, and remember, if you're in Australia, you can call us for free on 1800 975 711, or if you're listening to us from overseas, via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir. Now my producer, Shannon, tells me we have another call on the line, you're on air, go ahead.

JARROD: Hi, my name is Jarrod

SEABROOKE: Hello Jarrod, what's the issue?

JARROD: [straight to business] Okay, so when I was at uni I fell in love pretty hard when I was still kind of young for how serious it got. I was nineteen and so was he. We had a couple of great years together and both of us thought it was going to be forever, but I wound up dropping out of uni and he graduated and things kind of fell apart ... he said that it seemed like I wasn't interested in growing up, let alone growing old with him. We broke up and I kind of went off the rails for a while after that, but I've got it together now.

SEABROOKE: I'm glad to hear that! Go on.

JARROD: I ran into him again at a mutual friend's place recently and it was so good to see him, and he seemed really happy to see me. We're catching up for drinks next week and I think I'd like to reconnect with him ... maybe romantically, but to be honest I just miss him being a part of my life in whatever form it might take. My problem is that after we broke up, when I went a bit nuts, I ended up being bitten by a vampire and turned. He knows and doesn't seem bothered by it, but what it means is that I still look exactly like the 21-year-old he broke up with for being immature, while he's now 35. What can I do to make him see I've grown up just as much as he has?

SEABROOKE: Look, to a certain extent, you'd have this same hurdle even if you were still human. Reconnecting with old lovers always involves contending with spectres of who we used to be. You've each had fourteen years of growth and change and experience that you're bringing with you to this new reunion... just because it's more immediately visible with him doesn't make as much of a difference as it might seem to at first consideration. If you can, try not to place too much emphasis on trying to prove to him how different you are and how much you've matured. A relationship, whether romantic or platonic, can't grow in healthy directions if it's based on one person working to convince the other of their suitability or worthiness.

JARROD: [sadly] I just feel really sad that I won't be able to grow and change with him as time passes, you know? We were each other's first experience of deep romantic love, and I think that leaves a mark on a person, you know? But now... No matter what other milestones we reach in the future I'm never going to have any “tells” to mark it.

SEABROOKE: You sound like you're very conscious of your own, newly acquired immortality, beyond the opportunity to make a new first impression on your former partner.

JARROD: [jokingly defensive] It's not that new. It's been fourteen years since I died. It'd be pretty pathetic if I was still weird about it after that long, right?.

SEABROOKE: Well, there's no timeline on trauma, and even if there was, that's part of the point, isn't it? Being a vampire means that fourteen years means something vampire means something wholly different to you than it does to him. You've only run into him once, with another meeting planned, and you're already thinking in terms of years and decades. You let your assumptions colour a lot of your thought processes, to a degree that concerns me a little. May I ask have you ever explored whether you might have a mood disorder such as depression?

JARROD: I kind of figured that stuff only really happened to teenagers and nutcases.

SEABROOKE: Which is in itself an example of what I'm talking about. I think it really would be worth looking into this. You've gone through an extremely intense experience that's going to shape the rest of your long life, and that deserves more professional guidance than I can offer on-air right now Jarrod.

JARROD: Oh, okay.

SEABROOKE: As far as this specific situation goes, the thing that you need to keep in mind is that you and your former partner and every single other person in the world has one thing in common: we all exist right now. The people who we were when we were 21 don't exist now. The people who'll exist in another fourteen years are still fourteen years away. Let the past be the past and the future be the future. Right now, you are someone whose experiences have brought you into this moment, and the same is true for your partner. Let the rest take care of itself and concentrate on enjoying whatever bond the two of you end up building in the here and now.

JARROD: Okay Dr. Seabrooke, I'll try.

SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call. It's really really something to remember - It's easy to lose perspective on time when you're an immortal, but immortals change just as much as the rest of us. That's easy to forget.

[Music: Theme music begins to fade in]

SEABROOKE: Well, that brings us to the end of our first show! I'd like to thank Adam, Ramona and Jarrod for calling, and a special thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer.

I'm Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you've found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I'll see you next week.

[Music: Theme music plays]

ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee-Davis Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.

Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho

Adam was voiced by Ethan Kavanagh, with the call written by Lee Davis-Thalbourne.

Ramona was voiced by Erin Lillis, with the call written by Lucille Valentine.

Jarrod was voiced by Justin Jones Li, with the call written by Mary Borsellino.

The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee-Davis Thalbourne.

If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon!

If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show!

If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com.

You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.

Up next on the AusEtherial Network, she's a modern witch making a name for herself after a fallout with her coven, it's Kalila Stormfire's Economical Magick Services! Find out more about this great show at kalilastormfire.com.

[Music: Theme finishes]