Episode 10: Changing Portraits
/[MUSIC: Theme music begins]
ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, This is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!
[MUSIC: Continues for 10-15s, then fades out]
SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. As always, if you have a problem and you’d like help with it, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.
I’ve got some good news for our listeners! This week, I’m going to be a keynote speaker for the Death and Relationships conference down in Sydney! I’m going to be hanging around a lot at the conference, and I’ll even be doing a meet and greet in the trade hall, so if you’re in the area, come have a visit! I’d love to see some of you there!
But enough about the future! Let’s get to your calls! You’re on the air, go ahead.
ALFORD: [Deep, gravelly voice] Greetings Olivia Seabrooke. I am glad to have made connection.
SEABROOKE: Thank you for calling in. So how would you like to be addressed tonight?
ALFORD: I have no moniker, no name, but for convenience perhaps Alford.
SEABROOKE: Alford it is. What’s on your mind this evening Alford?
ALFORD: I am a Genius Loci...of sorts. A spirit guardian born from a location. I am not sure you would have dealt with my kind before as we are more inclined of the solitary lifestyle. We don’t... breed. As such. Many are born, work, and fade away without meeting others.
SEABROOKE: Well, I take it since you are calling me, that this is not the case with you.
ALFORD: Indeed. I am quite infatuated with a human woman, she is a history tour guide at the Alford estate and obviously the ancient stones brought from my homeland that lie within the walls are a part of her usual script.
The way she speaks about the ruins, my home... she sounds so respectful. Wistful. Curious. I can’t help but listen in to her each time she speaks of them. The stones, and thus the estate is my home, and are a part of me in a way. I know that doesn’t mean anything is implied in her words, but... more and more, I will sit by her when she takes her breaks. I want to talk to her. It feels dishonest watching without being seen.
SEABROOKE: Do you have an idea what's holding you back from speaking with her?
ALFORD: My appearance is.... daunting to humans. A large ursine body, serpents as prehensile tails, and a face and jaw that is clearly a carnivore used to large prey... very useful for chasing off looters back when the castle was whole... but quite poor for approaching smaller creatures asking for compliance to rules such as ‘no photography’. It is my believe that this flaw would carry over to a request for companionship.
SEABROOKE: I can see that would be a concern. Perhaps writing a letter to her, to introduce yourself before your first appearance could be a gentler approach? I'm sure she'd be delighted to meet someone as invested in her work and interests as she is, and a small introduction may avoid the usual ‘fight or flight’ response that we're so used to encountering when dealing with larger supernatural species. You are well spoken and articulate, if you can transfer that to a soft introductory letter, I imagine that would make a great start.
ALFORD: ... yes?
SEABROOKE: You seem hesitant?
ALFORD: I am.... hesitant... as I know she was sexually active in her last relationship... I did not mean to overhear her conversation on the topic.... but I can not leave the stones...and so I hear what is discussed on the ground....
SEABROOKE: That’s ok, we sometimes overhear things. Go on.
ALFORD: Well, she is sexual. I am not. I am happy to do whatever pleases her... but she may find me lacking in...phallus or similar appendage.
SEABROOKE: Oh! Well, yes. That is something that you will have to discuss with her, she may be content with a relationship without sex. If she wants to explore sex with you and you want to please her, appendages of all types are easily bought from any good sex store. If things become sexual there are many options for pleasure other than penetration, not just in her case, but in your case too. You may not be sexually driven, but perhaps there is something tactile she can enjoy with you?
ALFORD: ....I must admit, I like my abdomen to be agitated by hand.
SEABROOKE: .... you mean you like belly scritches?
ALFORD: Indeed.
SEABROOKE: Well that sounds ideal! Communicating what brings you pleasure will help her feel she can give back to you in a way that brings you closer, sexual or not.
ALFORD: You have given me much to consider, and sparked hope for me. Thank you kindly, Olivia Seabrooke. May your lands be blessed, and your crops bountiful.
SEABROOKE: Thank you, Alford for the blessing and the call.
This is what I love - even between two such different people there’s always some point of connection. Remember, you get to build your own relationship - don’t worry too much about what you think should happen, or what you think you need to do, work instead to find what sort of relationship you need and want, and find a way to make that happen.
Now, we’ve got our next caller on the line, you’re on the air, go ahead.
KAREN: Hi Doctor Seabrooke, my name's Karen.
SEABROOKE: Hey there, Karen! Welcome to the show. What dilemma can I help you with today?
KAREN: [heavy, dramatic sigh] It’s about my ex.
SEABROOKE: Oh?
KAREN: We’re having a sort of...housing problem.
SEABROOKE: Hmm, figuring out living relationships after a breakup can be really tough.
KAREN: She’s being so unreasonable! Ugh, I should have seen this coming, it’s just typical.
SEABROOKE: Ok, let’s back up a bit. Tell me a bit more about the problem as you see it.
KAREN: Oh, of course, of course, right. So I moved into my gorgeous new house about a year ago – well, I say new, but really it was quite a lovely old place, great vintage wallpaper, old fashioned chandelier, staircases with the most amazing carved wooden bannisters. In retrospect, I should have figured it out before the sale went through, but you know what the Melbourne property market is like – you can’t look a gift horse in the mouth!
SEABROOKE: And you moved in along with your now-ex?
KAREN: Oh, no, my ex was already living there. Well, of course, she wasn’t my ex then. She was haunting the place, had been for decades, but no one told me that when I moved in. No wonder it was so affordable.
Anyway, once we were past the initial getting-to-know-you stage, and she’d moved on from coyly switching the lights on and off to having actual conversations, she turned out to be pretty great company, and, you know, things just sort of happened. It was kind of a relief at the time. It certainly beats dating, and we both like our nights in. I thought we had so much in common.
SEABROOKE: But now things have turned sour?
KAREN: Well, I mean, she’s just so stubborn! It’s unbearable! We never seem to be able to compromise on anything. And she’s terribly old-fashioned, which I suppose makes sense, but still. So we broke up. But now she won’t leave!
SEABROOKE: She won’t leave...the house, you mean?
KAREN: Exactly! And it’s such a beautiful place, I just can’t bear to part with it, but she insists she was there first, she goes on and on about how it’s the physical manifestation of all her ties to the mortal plane and it’s literally impossible for her to vacate, which, honestly, do you see what I mean about her inflexibility? But I did buy the place, and I just don’t see why I should have to be the one to leave!
SEABROOKE: It can be so hard to figure out how to move on, both for the dead and for the living. In this case– well, it sounds like one thing you and your ex have in common is an understanding of the importance of place. For you, there’s a lot invested in this house – you love its beauty, and there’s always the expense of moving too. But your ex actually has no choice about her ties to the house. Some ghosts find their afterlife can only be sustained through a connection to a particular place or object, while others roam more freely, tethered to the mortal plane by some abstract idea or goal. Similarly, some ghosts are pretty happy with their anchoring ties to the mortal plane, while others are more ambivalent and interested in moving on. So, do you know how your ex feels about her ties to the house?
KAREN: She’s – well, now that you mention it, we never really got into the subject too deeply. I – I think I’ve been thinking of it as just part of our other issues with stubbornness?
SEABROOKE: Okay. Being set in one’s ways and having trouble with change is a pretty classic challenge for many ghosts, given the nature of haunting and unfinished business, but it’s also a classic challenge for – well, everyone. Let’s start by assuming that if she can’t leave, that’s a pretty big deal, way beyond personal preference or inconvenience. Loving the house, even having bought the house, is one thing. Needing it to continue to live your afterlife is quite another thing.
KAREN: I suppose that’s true.
SEABROOKE: Karen, are you and your ex interested in amicably sharing the house?
KAREN: I can’t see that working right now. We’re being civil, but there’s so much tension.
SEABROOKE: Then you might have to think about looking for a new place to live. You don’t know whether she wants help de-anchoring her connection from the house, but even if she does, you might not be in the best position to help, since you’ve got ulterior motives. So now’s a good time to at least move out and stay elsewhere for a little while, if that’s affordable for you, while you two try to come to an arrangement – maybe using a mediator, since you struggle to compromise together.
KAREN: Yeah, I suppose it could be time to bring in an outside party. I don’t want to keep fighting and getting nowhere.
SEABROOKE: You might want to check in with a property lawyer too – I’m no expert in the legal side of this, but I’m pretty sure there are special rules for the sale of haunted houses, and it sounds like they weren’t followed here. Between mediation and some legal advice, maybe you can come up with something that benefits both of you. It can’t be fun for her to know that you could sell the house and she might be stuck with brand new, involuntary housemates.
KAREN: Yeah, I, um, don’t think I realised how much of this situation must feel out of her control.
SEABROOKE: That’s a really insightful point, Karen. Maybe acknowledging that to her will be a step on the way to seeing each other’s point of view and reaching a compromise.
KAREN: Maybe. Or maybe I just have to give her her space. I’m going to miss those bannisters though. We had some good times on that staircase. Oh well, thank you Doctor Seabrooke.
SEABROOKE: No worries, and best of luck! I hope you two can work something out. Thanks for the call!
It often seems unfair when we have to be the ones to make a sacrifice, especially when you’ve invested so much, but in these types of cases, sometimes the only person who can make a change is you, and taking that hit might well lead to a happier life down the track. This is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll have more calls after the break.
[AD BREAK]
SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! Now, Shannon tells me we have a caller all the way from London, you’re on the air, go ahead.
CYBIL: Hi, Dr. Seabrooke, my name is Cybil, I’m calling about my about my girlfriend.
SEABROOKE: I’m happy to help in any way I can, Cybil. What seems to be the problem?
CYBIL: God, where do I begin? Um, only recently she came out to me as a trans woman, and I’m over the moon for her. I want to be one thousand percent supportive, but I don’t even know where to begin.
SEABROOKE: I see. Have you spoken with your partner about her needs and what kind of support she wants?
CYBIL: Of course. That was the first conversation we had. But even she’s at a bit of a loss. There are certain... complicating factors that are keeping her from transitioning.
SEABROOKE: May I ask, what sort of complications?
CYBIL: Well, for starters she feels that three hundred and seventeen years old is too late to transition. She says she would have done it before, but wanted to wait until the grandchildren were dead.
SEABROOKE: Well that was her choice, and it’s up to us to respect that. The good news, Cybil, is that should she make the decision it’s never too late for someone to transition. They can be twenty, a hundred and twenty, or older still, and embrace the life and identity that they want.
CYBIL: Yeah…
SEABROOKE: You don’t sound optimistic.
CYBIL: It’s just that… Oh, how do I explain this?
SEABROOKE: In your own time.
CYBIL: She told me that she’s worried hormones won’t have much effect with her.
SEABROOKE: Why is that?
CYBIL: Well, You see, Dr. Seabrooke, there’s a painting.
SEABROOKE: A painting.
CYBIL: Yes. Of my girlfriend. She’s had it since she was young.
SEABROOKE: I’m not sure I understand the significance.
CYBIL: My partner doesn’t age, but the painting... the figure it portrays ages in her place.
SEABROOKE: I see.
CYBIL: What if the same principle applies to hormones? What if she takes them and her body doesn’t change? What if the painting changes instead of her, and she’s stuck?
SEABROOKE: I understand your distress, Cybil, but let’s not raise the alarm bells just yet. Together you can explore an array of diagnostic options, and conjoined medical-arcane care is available for your girlfriend. Such a task, however deserves more time than I can offer during a single phone call. I would love to refer you to a colleague and dear friend; her name is Dr. Angela Bellum, she’s an expert in transgender mysticism and a non-binary trans witch herself. She’s been helping all manner of folk in piercing the gender veil for longer than I’ve been in the field, and I am more than confident that she can help steer you and your lady love in the right direction.
CYBIL: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke.
SEABROOKE: If there’s anything else I can impart to you, Cybil, it’s this; not hormones, not clothes, not immortal flesh, not even cursed paintings make a woman. Who she is transcends her body, just as you or I are not the sum of ours. So long as there is care and respect I’m sure you’ll pull through.
CYBIL: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke. I’ll remember that.
SEABROOKE: I hope that helped a little, thank you so much for the call. Just to repeat again for our audience, because I think this is important - your gender is not defined by what other people see - it’s defined by you, and you alone, and no one can take that from you.
[MUSIC: Theme music begins to fade in]
SEABROOKE: That about wraps things up for this week, I’d like to thank Alford, Karen, and Cybil for their calls tonight, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.
ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.
Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.
Alford was voiced by Matt Hood, with the call written by Roslyn Quin.
Karen was voiced by Celine Narinli, with the call written by Hannah Aroni.
And Cybil was voiced by Ella Whomersley, with the call written by Miranda Sparks.
The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.
If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice and spread the word about our show.
If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.
Up next on the AusEtherial Network, take a trip to Mount Absalom, and stay for the mystery in the midwestern Gothic, Unwell! Find out more about this great show at unwellpodcast.com!
[MUSIC: Theme finishes]