Episode 12: Futures
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ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!
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SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. If you need to chat, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.
I feel like I’ve barely been getting a break this week! I don’t think I’ve had a session off at my practice, and I’ve been fielding so many interviews, and of course there have been so many emails and well-wishes from all over the world, and sometimes I feel like I’ve not had time for myself for a while. But! I’m still glad to have a chance to chat with everyone, so let’s get right into it, and open up the calls!
You’re on the air with Dr. Seabrooke, what’s up?
ALICE: Yes, this is Alice. Hi there.
SEABROOKE: What can I help you with Alice?
ALICE: It’s-- about my partner. They... Do you know much about the all-seeing?
SEABROOKE: Ah, the all seeing- long humanoid bodies and an ever swirling crystal ball skull? Don’t talk, but communicate with images in the crystal, or telepathically.
ALICE: Yeah, exactly.
SEABROOKE: Poorly named, as they don’t officially see all but instead see the future they’re focusing on.
ALICE: Yeah. That actually gets us into a lot of trouble. Lots of people want to see their future. And all-seeing - they’re rare. We can’t go anywhere without being mobbed by curious people. [laughs slightly]
SEABROOKE: I’m sorry to hear that. I imagine that must be quite difficult for you.
ALICE: It is. But- that’s not the reason why I’m calling. Claire- that’s my partner- they have a... bad habit.
SEABROOKE: A bad habit?
ALICE: Yeah. This might seem silly but… we can’t fight.
SEABROOKE: That doesn’t sound like a big problem, can you elaborate?
ALICE: Claire... doesn’t let us argue. They just focuses on the future of the fight whenever we disagree on something, and tells me what they knows I want to hear.
SEABROOKE: Hmm, that sounds frustrating.
ALICE: It is! I don’t want to fight, but I don’t want to feel like they’re not actually listening.
SEABROOKE: It can be very difficult when we feel unheard by our partner. Alice, is Claire about?
ALICE: No, they’re working tonight.
SEABROOKE: Okay. Alice, you need to tell Claire that tension is normal. But the goal of tension isn’t to stop it, but to see where it’s coming from, and to work with it from there.
ALICE: Okay... Tensions okay.
[Background SFX: Pen scratching on paper.]
SEABROOKE: It’s better for you both if you can engage and talk things out, even when it’s uncomfortable. Has Claire’s predictions ever been wrong?
ALICE: Very rarely.
SEABROOKE: Then it might be worth mentioning to Claire you’re frustrated by not getting to engage in these conversations, as you feel it’s already mapped out to them.
[Background SFX: Pen scratching on paper.]
ALICE: But- what if they want to use their powers? I know it makes them comfortable, and I don’t want to deny their agency.
SEABROOKE: Then they can use them, but they should also be willing to talk that over with you. It’s your future too, you should get a choice in how you want to shape it. And that you want to shape it with Claire.
ALICE: Thank you so much. I didn’t know how to phrase any of this.
SEABROOKE: That’s what I’m here for Alice. Just be sure to reassure Claire that it IS really lovely of them to want to make you feel happy, even if it’s a little misguided.
ALICE: [laughs] They can be a little forgetful of us mere ‘present sighters’. [chuckles slightly]
SEABROOKE: I’m going to have to wrap this up Alice, I hope this helps!
ALICE: It really does! Thank you so much. Have a good night.
SEABROOKE: You too, Alice, thanks for the call.
Here’s the thing - conflict can be a scary thing, but if you are in conflict with your partner, that often means you need to communicate. Knowing how to resolve the conflict doesn’t mean the conflict doesn’t need to happen.
Let’s move on to our next caller, You’re on the air, how can I help?
BRIONY: Hi Doctor S. My name is Briony, and I’m calling in today I guess because we’ve been having some problems, my partner and I.
SEABROOKE: Well, that’s what I’m here for Briony! How can I help?
BRIONY: Well, we’ve been dating for three years. And Susie wants to move in together.
[Pause]
SEABROOKE: ...and you’re not ready?
BRIONY: It’s only been three years!
[Pause]
SEABROOKE: Oh I see. You’re a--
BRIONY: -- a dryad, yes.
SEABROOKE: And Susie is a human?
BRIONY: Yes. She’s the first human that I’ve dated, and I really really love her.
SEABROOKE: That’s lovely.. So, how are you feeling right now, Briony?
BRIONY: I feel extremely uncomfortable. I-I love Susie, I do, but it hasn’t been very long. I need time to adjust.
SEABROOKE: How do you think Susie feels?
BRIONY: I think she’s very hurt. It’s not that I don’t want to live with her, but I just don’t think I’m ready. I’m only fifty-three!
SEABROOKE: Has Susie told you that this is quite a normal timeframe for humans? Three years in a relationship with someone is a long time to us.
BRIONY: She has said that, but I just can’t wrap my head around it.
SEABROOKE: Can you see how she feels?
BRIONY: I mean, like I said, I don’t understand, but I can see that she’s hurt. I wish this was easier. I wish I could be okay with this.
SEABROOKE: This is something that dryads and other beings who live long lives deal with when dating humans a lot. If you want this to keep working, you’re going to have to put in some effort, but so does Susie, don’t forget. You don’t have to bend to her wants, obviously. If you’re not okay with this, Briony, you should listen to that feeling.
BRIONY: I wish we weren't incompatible.
SEABROOKE: Do you really think you’re incompatible?
BRIONY: Not as people! But maybe with the age differences.
SEABROOKE: I’ve seen this kind of thing work before, many times. People find ways where everyone is comfortable.You obviously have a loving relationship, Briony. I’m sure you and Susie can find a way forward. It also may be more useful to you think about what the best-case scenario would be like.
BRIONY: I’ve tried to think of a way forward, but I just can’t!
SEABROOKE: Do you stay at her house overnight a lot, or does she come to yours?
BRIONY: Yeah, a couple of nights a week.
SEABROOKE: What if you spent a few nights in a row together, perhaps on a small holiday? Susie wants to build a life with you but ultimately, you’re not ready and she has to respect that. Perhaps by spending more time with her, even just a few days at a time.
BRIONY: So I just... ease myself into it?
SEABROOKE: Precisely. You can see how you work when you’re together for days at a time, how your relationship changes, and how you react to one another.
BRIONY: What if it doesn’t work?
SEABROOKE: It’s easiest to focus on trying little steps at first. You don’t have to move in tomorrow, but you can start the conversation of how you’re both going to move forward with this. If something does fail, talk with Susie about it. There will be a way you both can be happy. Maybe you can ask Susie what she imagines your life together might be like, and start thinking about how you envisage your future, and tell Susie about it. And of course you can always call me back here.
BRIONY: Hm. Okay. I am a bit scared.
SEABROOKE: It’s okay to be scared. And the first step isn’t trying -anything new, it’s just talking to Susie about what you can try. Does that sound okay?
BRIONY: Yeah. Okay, yeah. Thanks, Dr S.
SEABROOKE: Anytime. Good luck!
I keep saying it - there’s no difference between people so great that a relationship can’t work, if that’s what both people want. It’s... I-I want people to remember that. Really. I think it’s time for a break, this is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, we’ll be back shortly.
[AD BREAK]
SEABROOKE: Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, let’s get back to the calls! You’re on the air with Dr Seabrooke.
ARTERR: Hi, my name is Arterr.
SEABROOKE: How are you, Arterr?
ARTERR: I’m fine. Thanks for taking my call.
SEABROOKE: You’re welcome, but straight off I’m going to point out that people usually aren’t fine when they say they’re fine like that.
ARTERR: Sorry Dr Seabrooke. I’m just... [deep sigh] Its taken a lot for me to make this call and I don’t know why I’m feeling so upset all of a sudden.
SEABROOKE: That’s understandable. Its a brave thing to call in and talk.
ARTERR: I don’t feel brave.
SEABROOKE: Maybe we should get to what is troubling you, and then you can decide for yourself later. What’s going on?
ARTERR: I’m just... I’m fucking pissed off at the world to be honest. Or the universe. Or statistics or... I don’t know.
SEABROOKE: I--
ARTERR: I’m just angry, and I’m struggling with it.
SEABROOKE: What are you angry about?
ARTERR: Sorry for swearing.
SEABROOKE: It’s okay. We’re on late.
ARTERR: I keep going in a circle. I’m single. That’s fine. I don’t have sex often, and for a long time it hasn’t been worth it. That’s fine. I’m more than both those things.
SEABROOKE: I’m listening.
ARTERR: I feel... incomplete. Somehow.
SEABROOKE: You feel the pressure to be in a relationship?
ARTERR: No. Not really.
SEABROOKE: Okay?
ARTERR: I don’t buy into all that mainstream media nonsense. I know I don’t need another person to complete me. I don’t need sex.
SEABROOKE: It’s not about need, but if you want these things that’s healthy as well.
ARTERR: Well that’s it. I want the sex. The idea of a relationship I’m not so enamoured with, but I want sex and not having decent sex for this long makes me feel like a failure. Like I’m failing somehow. Should I just give up?
SEABROOKE: Give up sex?
ARTERR: Give up that part of my identity.
SEABROOKE: No, Arterr. Not at all.
ARTERR: Sorry, but that’s basically what a colleague suggested today.
SEABROOKE: They told you to do that?
ARTERR: Not in so many words. We were discussing the plan to send an explorer to Mars using the new projector.
SEABROOKE: What do you do?
ARTERR: I’m an astral physicist.
SEABROOKE: A rare profession. A lot of pressure as well.
ARTERR: It’s fine. Really the only one on the planet that can do what I do.
SEABROOKE: And someone is sending someone to Mars?
ARTERR: They’ll be alone on that planet for 2 years. My colleague pointed out the lack of options for sexual partners.
SEABROOKE: And that was important to them?
ARTERR: Very. He said he couldn’t imagine anything worse.
SEABROOKE: How did you feel?
ARTERR: Fine. He didn’t mean anything by it. It just made me think.
SEABROOKE: But, you mentioned earlier being angry at the world, universe, statistics...
ARTERR: [frustrated sigh] I am I guess. Without trying to sound too dramatic about it.
SEABROOKE: And why is that?
ARTERR: Firstly, I’m a unicorn. I don’t even know what the statistics are anymore, but there aren’t enough zeros in the world to get to the decimal place we inhabit as a percentage of the population.
SEABROOKE: I see. Are you only attracted to other unicorns?
ARTERR: No, but... I don’t want to sound judgemental, but I have standards.
SEABROOKE: Go on.
ARTERR: I want someone who is a good communicator, knows themselves and what they want, or at least knows how to constructively look for it.
SEABROOKE: Those are perfectly reasonable expectations.
ARTERR: I know. I don’t know why they don’t teach this sort of thing somewhere.
SEABROOKE: That’s a good point, but a whole other conversation. Right now we’re talking about you.
ARTERR: [sigh] Maybe I just needed a good whinge.
SEABROOKE: And that’s a good thing too.
ARTERR: I know my expectations limit my options, and that’s a good thing.
SEABROOKE: And maybe there’s an opportunity to indulge?
ARTERR: What do you mean?
SEABROOKE: Can I ask if you’re taking some time out for self love?
ARTERR: Masturbate? [laughs]
SEABROOKE: [laughs] Amongst other things, but yes.
ARTERR: Well, yes. Just to... alleviate the symptoms.
SEABROOKE: Perhaps you could do more than that. It’s also a part of your sexuality, and maybe there’s an opportunity there.
ARTERR: What do you mean?
SEABROOKE: Take your time. Treat yourself to something special.
ARTERR: I suppose I could.
SEABROOKE: If there’s anything your curious about, perhaps you could do a little solo exploration of that as well.
ARTERR: I’m not sure I’m comfortable getting into too much detail about that in a public forum.
SEABROOKE: Completely understandable, but its just an idea. That might also be one way of meeting similar people as well.
ARTERR: Really?
SEABROOKE: Well, there are some sex educators and activists that have worked hard to build good fetish communities around negotiation and consent.
ARTERR: Are sex workshops a thing?
SEABROOKE: Absolutely. For emotional safety as well as physical. They can also be a great way of meeting like-minded people. Do you have any friends you can talk to about this? [pause] Arterr, are you ok?
ARTERR: I’m fine.
SEABROOKE: There’s that word again.
ARTERR: No. I don’t really have anyone I can talk to about this. I’m the strong one in my friendship circle. The one they come to for support. I like that, so I don’t want to burden them with this.
SEABROOKE: Even though you should?
ARTERR: Even though I should.
SEABROOKE: I think we’ve stumbled on a wider issue here, Arterr.
ARTERR: Its not the lack of sex that’s the problem. Its the lack of connection.
SEABROOKE: It sounds like you’re already isolated by difference, you have a job with few peers, and things are pretty one-sided with your friends. That sounds...
ARTERR: Lonely.
SEABROOKE: Yes.
ARTERR: You’re speaking from experience.
[Pause.]
SEABROOKE: I...
ARTERR: Sorry.
SEABROOKE: It’s ok.
ARTERR: No, I don’t know you, that was out of line.
SEABROOKE: Thank you for saying that Arterr, but it's fine.
ARTERR: Ah, the f word again. [laughs]
SEABROOKE: [laughs] I do feel like we made some progress though. Maybe we should leave it there.
ARTERR: Agreed. I think I already knew the truth, but I needed to hear it from someone else.
SEABROOKE: Give your friends a chance to help you. You’ll probably be surprised.
ARTERR: I will do. Thanks.
SEABROOKE: Take care, Arterr, thanks for the call. That was, um, I… think we need to end it there for tonight.
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SEABROOKE: Thanks to our callers, thanks to Shannon. This was Supernatural Sexuality. I-I’ll see you next time.
[Background SFX: Seabrooke rises up and leaves loudly. A door opens and shuts.]
[MUSIC: Theme music plays for a while in the silence, until the guitar riff plays]
ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.
Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.
Alice was voiced by Evana Ho, with the call written by Sav Emmett-Wolf.
Briony was voiced by Emma Laslett, with the call written by Alison Evans.
Arterr was voiced by Nick Helmer, with the call written by Alexander Swords.
The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.
We’d like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the stolen lands this show was produced on, the Boon Wurrung people of the Kulin Nation, and pay our respects to elders past, present and emerging. We would also like to pay our respects to the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin Nation, whose lands much of this show was recorded on. Sovereignty was never ceded, and Australia was, and always will be, Aboriginal Land.
This concludes the first Season of Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke. I’d like to thank everyone who has been a part of this show this year, from Erin Kyan, my co-producer and director, to our writers, to all of our callers, and especially our Dr Seabrooke, Mama Boho. This show has been a massive undertaking, and we’d like to thank everyone who has helped make this possible. We’d also like to thank everyone who has listened to the show, discussed the show on social media, supported us on Patreon, or told their friends. You can look forward to more Supernatural Sexuality in 2021. We hope you found something in our show this season, we hope your relationships find their way, and we'll see you next season.
If you like our show, and want to support us, consider backing us on Patreon! We do our best not only to create a high-quality show for you, but to pay everyone involved in its production. Your monthly donation will help continue to support great shows like this one! You can become a patron via supersexradio.com/patreon! If you're not able to support us financially, consider rating and reviewing us on your platform of choice, and spread the word about our show.
If you want to learn more about Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke, visit our website, supersexradio.com. You can also find us on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram as supersexradio, all one word.
Up next on the AusEtherial Network, an young elf mage searches the galaxy for a mysterious artifact on Mythos! Find out more about this great show at mythostheseries.com!
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