Episode 6: Unspeakable
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ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!
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SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality!
I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke. Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. If you have a problem, and you’d like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.
Now, before we get to this week’s calls, we received an actual honest-to-god letter into the station mailbox, and I’m going to read it out now. Let’s see...
[reading] Dear Doctor Seabrooke, I have opened and abandoned more drafts of this letter than I care to admit. Hopefully, with this draft, I will find my courage.
For many years following my untimely passing, I have haunted my local library. I was quiet in life, and am now all too quiet in death. While some ghosts rattle and moan extravagantly, I have never acquired the knack of projecting my voice into the mortal plane of hearing. Visibility is equally beyond my reach, and I can barely influence the physical world. The most I can do is rattle a windowpane or turn a page. The library’s installation of computers and internet access has been a great boon to me, as I have discovered an affinity for electricity and rekindled my love of writing. Through the wonders of the internet, I have made new friends, and ... I’ve met someone.
She and I have grown to mean a great deal to one another. Over recent months, our correspondence has developed from the casual to the profound to something bordering on the intimate. With her invitation, I have even travelled through the wires and waves and ineffable ether to visit her home through her computer. Doctor, I have developed feelings for her. But this is where I need your help.
In my mortal years, I most certainly lacked a love life. My timidity meant that I rarely risked rejection. In death, I want to be braver. This mortal knows my situation; I was bold enough to be my true self with her, and she didn’t run screaming. But she is alive, and corporeal. If I confess my attraction, what can I possibly offer her?
I read a great deal, Doctor. Over the shoulders of library patrons, or in the dead of night, when everyone else is gone, if a book cover is light enough for me to lift. Whenever I read a tale of romance, the physical connection seems so inescapably crucial. I have become frightened to read more online and discover the true depths of my inadequacy; even crass advertisements on the sides of webpages haunt me. How can a being of my minimal experience, who can barely touch the world, satisfy a lover? I fear that I’m foolish to want to share my feelings when there is so little I can offer. Am I better off enjoying a purely platonic relationship with this person, knowing that she can pursue others who might be more ... satisfactory? Doctor Seabrooke, what should I do? Signed, The Late Alex.
[no longer reading aloud] Alex, I’m so glad you wrote in, because what you’re experiencing is very common, and I have some ideas. First off – fear of inadequacy is something I hear all the time in practice. It plagues the living and the undead, unfortunately! Living in a library sounds great, – so much knowledge available to you! – but you’re also being exposed to media portrayals of sex and intimacy that are very “one size fits all”. I hope your library updates its romance and sexuality books some time soon, because I know there are great writers and researchers who know better! I promise you, a mutually satisfying love life without any sort of direct touch is possible.
Alex, it’s a shame your time online made you feel intimidated after your experiences with novels, because the internet is absolutely chock full of people whose favourite, most appreciated, most delightful erotic tools are the ones you have to work with. I’m talking about written erotica and electronic devices! You’ve seen from your library time how many people want to read sexy words, and a little independent research will demonstrate how an ability to use and travel through electricity might give you an extraordinary control of all sorts of other toys. You have some pretty excellent options available!
I wanted to raise something else in your letter – I’m reading an awful lot about your worries and what you think she might want based on media, but I’m not hearing much about what YOU want, and I’m not hearing much about what SHE wants.
So first off – what sounds sexy to you? What kind of love life do you want? Think less about limits and expectations, and use your creativity and imagination. And second – don’t self-reject! You don’t know what she wants, and you won’t know until you ask her out. Whatever her answer is, remember that there are lots of beings out there who have found satisfaction and delight in very individualised ways, ways that suit their unique configuration of physical manifestations, minds and tastes.
You mentioned you were shy in life, and you’re getting braver in your afterlife. A lot of ghosts and undead beings I’ve seen in practice find they are late bloomers in this way. I hope your new courage takes you to exciting places, and thank you so much for the letter!
Now, Shannon’s very subtly telling me to get on with it, so let’s get onto the calls! We’ve got our first call, you’re on the air, go ahead.
RILEY: Hi Dr Seabrooke! My-my name is Riley.
SEABROOKE: Riley, what’s the situation?
RILEY: Well, I recently moved into a new apartment.
SEABROOKE: That’s great to hear!
RILEY: It is great. Perhaps a little too great?
SEABROOKE: What do you mean, Riley?
RILEY: Well, the previous owners of the place neglected their trailing ivy plant. So the houseplant died, which is really sad, but because the plant had such an enduring enthusiasm to live, they transformed into a spectre. Their name is Evergreen and they’re now my housemate.
SEABROOKE: And do you like your housemate?
RILEY: Yeah I do. That’s the thing. I think I like them a little too much. We’ve been playing Scrabble and doing jigsaw puzzles with each other almost every night. Sometimes it’s past midnight before we realise how long we’ve been talking and hanging out!
SEABROOKE: Wonderful! So what’s the problem?
RILEY: Well, I really want to keep hanging out with them. A lot.. To the point where ... well, y’know.
SEABROOKE: There’s absolutely no judgement here, Riley, I’m here to listen.
RILEY: Okay, okay. You see, I fantasize about them. I fantasize about us being more intimate, either in a platonic or romantic way.
SEABROOKE: And how do you see this intimacy evolving between you?
RILEY: Well, I want to feel them. I think about them temporarily sinking into my body, their long ghost stems wrapping around my organs. I dream we’re holding each other, leaf-in-hand, until we fall asleep.
SEABROOKE: Riley, that’s such a beautiful and honest thing to want. It’s definitely nothing to be ashamed of. I assume you haven’t hinted any of these feelings to Evergreen?
RILEY: No! Heck no. I’d be too damn scared.
SEABROOKE: And why is that?
RILEY: Honestly? Because I don’t want to ruin the friendship. I’ve only just moved out of home and I’m totally aware this could just be another one of my silly high-school style crushes. I don’t want to fuck things up.
SEABROOKE: Firstly, crushes aren’t silly and can be heaps of fun, no matter your age. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with thinking about someone in that way. No one can police your intimate thoughts.
RILEY: Yeah I guess you’re right.
SEABROOKE: But I can understand your hesitation in not wanting to ruin your friendship with Evergreen, especially when you’re living together as housemates.
RILEY: Totally! It’s really tough. I want to be more than friends with them, but I don’t want to risk losing the friendship either.
SEABROOKE: Absolutely, Riley. And clearly the friendship means a lot to you, which is a really beautiful thing. Have either of you discussed relationships before?
RILEY: Hmm, I don’t think so. I mentioned my shitty ex really briefly once, but it was a throwaway comment.
SEABROOKE: It could be worth engaging your housemate in a casual conversation about friendships and other relationships, to see what they might be looking for and see if they’re interested in the same things as you.
RILEY: That’s-that's true. Kind of testing the waters, so I don’t freak them - or myself - out!
SEABROOKE: I definitely don’t want anyone to freak out! A casual conversation like this could then make space for you both to discuss what you’re looking for from each other and the potential to change the nature of your relationship. Pun intended.
RILEY: [laughs]
SEABROOKE: Which brings me to another point – if you keep the conversation light and perhaps even throw in a few jokes, it could help ease any tension between you.
RILEY: Evergreen does love a good pun! Thanks, Dr Seabrooke. I’ll have a chat about relationships with them to see what kind of stuff they’re into.
SEABROOKE: And it sounds like you have a good communicative core relationship between you, so hopefully the rest of the conversation will just grow.
RILEY: [laughs] Oh my god.
SEABROOKE: Sorry not sorry, Riley! It seems I love a good pun just as much as Evergreen.
RILEY: Thanks Dr Seabrooke, you’ve made me feel more positive about the whole thing.
SEABROOKE: I’m really glad to hear that, Riley. Good luck, and thanks for the call!
RILEY: Thank you!
SEABROOKE: It’s all too common - I’m sure many of us have found friends that we’d like something more than a friendship with. As long as you’re treating your friend with respect, and being open and honest with them, it doesn’t have to be scary! Time for a quick break, this is Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke.
[Ad Break]
Welcome back, you’re listening to Supernatural Sexuality. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, it’s time to take some more calls. You’re on the air, how can I help?
GRETA: Hi, my name’s Greta, and uh, I’ve got a problem with my boyfriend?
SEABROOKE: You called the right number, Greta. What’s wrong?
GRETA: He’s dead.
SEABROOKE: Is that normal?
GRETA: No...[sighs] there was an accident. Three weeks ago. The thing is... he just kind of stuck around. The night after the accident, I found him in bed. He kind of was just... floating there. Not saying anything.
SEABROOKE: How did that make you feel?
GRETA: It was a shock. I was right in the middle of grieving, you know? Then all of a sudden, he’s back, but something's changed, he’s different.
SEABROOKE: It can be a big change, moving between lives. Did you talk about it together?
GRETA: Yeah, he’s not much of a talker now. It’s really strange. He was such a chatterbox when he was alive! Now we just have an iPad that he writes on.
SEABROOKE: And how’s your relationship going, with this in mind?
GRETA: I guess at first I was just so happy to have him back when I thought I’d lost him forever. But - um, there's - everything is so different now; it’s like there’s this chasm between us. [choking up] I-I can’t even touch him anymore!
SEABROOKE: That sounds like a tough time; sounds like that aspect was really important to you.
GRETA: Yeah.
SEABROOKE: How about this? I always say that communication is the key to any relationship. It’s really important that both of you accept that things have changed. And that’s not a bad thing! It’s important to be able to adapt to change.
One thing that I want you to try and do is remember the things that you liked together. If there’s a distance between you, try to reach out. It’s important to be the one to take action and get past that fear of the unknown.
GRETA: I guess... we could try and do some of our dates again? Relive some memories? But I guess that’s not new things...
SEABROOKE: But it is a new thing, Greta, because you’re doing it with him now, not then. Maybe you’re not able to be intimate in the ways you’re used to, but you can put forward what you are comfortable with and find out how to make your relationship work better - maybe better than it used to be!
GRETA: I do like it when he tries to float through my... you know...
SEABROOKE: [laughs] See, some definite advantages there! Seems like there’s a whole lot of potential there if you’re just willing to try. There’s so much that you can do if you accept new things and learn to adapt to what life - or death throws at us. I think your boyfriend loves you a whole lot. If you two can work together and keep communicating, I’m sure your relationship will bloom.
GRETA: That’s a good lesson, I think. Yeah, I'll - I’ll try and trust in him more.
SEABROOKE: Good luck with your boyfriend, Greta. I’m sure everything will go fine.
GRETA: Yeah. Thanks, Dr. Seabrooke.
SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call. Big transitions, regardless of the source, can always put some strain on a relationship, but relationships are organic things - they can change, and what they change into can be just as great, sometimes greater! Just make sure you’re keeping the lines of communication open during these transitions.
[SFX: Sound of door opening]
Ah, there you are Shannon! Now, we have a very special caller coming to us via crystal ball! Shannon’s just had to fish our particular model from an old station storage closet.
[SFX: The crystal ball is placed on the mic]
SEABROOKE: Thanks, Shannon. We’ll just get rid of some of this dust...
[SFX: Sound of door closing]
SEABROOKE: [blows on crystal ball, coughs] Now, I haven’t used one of these in a long time, so I might be a bit rusty...
[SFX: The ball hums eerily]
SEABROOKE: Oh! Wow, I think it’s working. Our producer Shannon tells me that Vincent is on the line. Hello, Vincent? Are you there?
[SFX: Echoing, humming sounds over the words]
VINCENT: [warped, echoing, incoherent] Yes, hello? Can you hear me?
SEABROOKE: Sorry, Vincent? We’re picking up some feedback on our end. Could you turn down the psychic resonance?
VINCENT: My apologies! Here.
[SFX: Echoing, humming sounds end]
VINCENT: [Less warped, echoing, is now coherent] Is that better?
SEABROOKE: Much better, Vincent. Thank you.
VINCENT: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke! I’m a long time fan of the show. I appreciate you taking my call.
SEABROOKE: Well it’s a pleasure to have you. Now, our producer tells me that you’ve just celebrated an anniversary.
VINCENT: That’s right. My husband, Kenneth, and I have just celebrated our thirty-seventh wedding anniversary.
SEABROOKE: Congratulations! Now how can I--
VINCENT: [interrupting] Yes, and at seventy-two years young it’s taken nearly half my lifetime!
SEABROOKE: I’m sure that nearly four decades of marriage hasn’t been without its difficulties.
VINCENT: Absolutely not, Dr. Seabrooke. In fact, that is why I’m calling.
SEABROOKE: How can I help, Vincent?
VINCENT: Well, it’s about my Kenneth, you see. He really is a remarkable man. A surgeon, you know! We first met at a Halloween ball many years ago. I was helping the vampires and ghouls tend the blood fountain, and Kenneth was escorting a patient in recovery. He had just transplanted her brain into the female body she had always wanted, and while she was over the moon it did leave her with an unforeseen craving for human flesh. It took some time to source ethical food options for--
SEABROOKE: I’m sorry, Vincent. I think we might be getting a little off track.
VINCENT: Of course. There I go again. Getting lost in my own little world! [chuckles] But even after all these years Kenneth and I are very much in love. However there’s one sticky wicket in our marriage that I’m not sure how to address.
SEABROOKE: Mm-hmm. And what might that be?
VINCENT: Well, you see, Kenneth has a cabinet of unspeakable horrors.
SEABROOKE: I see. A cabinet of horrors?
VINCENT: Unspeakable horrors, yes.
SEABROOKE: Can you tell me more about them?
VINCENT: Well, no. They really are quite unspeakable. If I had to sum it in a word it would be... [screaming]
[SFX: Warping and echoing get louder]
SEABROOKE: Vincent? The psychic resonance...
[SFX: Warping and echoing die down]
VINCENT: My apologies.
SEABROOKE: How did Kenneth come to be in possession of this cabinet of horrors--
VINCENT: Unspeakable horrors.
SEABROOKE: And how has it affected your relationship?
VINCENT: Well, to answer the first part of your question, when Kenneth was a child he was plagued by nightmares. Whenever he closed his eyes terrifying visions flooded his thoughts and left him writhing! That was when his mother intervened, and as remedy instructed him to project those nightmares into the cabinet on the far side of the room to be locked away. Oh, cabinets, closets; the lifetime of issues Kenneth has had with furniture and storage!
SEABROOKE: Vincent...
VINCENT: Yes, yes. Of course. Well, as the years wore on the cabinet collected new nightmares, and as Kenneth progressed from a child into a young man those nocturnal terrors fermented. Those nightmares took a life of their own, and became a cabinet of unspeakable horrors! In the dark when all are sleeping...
SEABROOKE: I see. Vincent--
VINCENT: And we mortals are at our weakest-
SEABROOKE: Vincent?
VINCENT: ...Those unspeakable horrors emerge from behind the wooden door...
SEABROOKE: [exasperated sigh]
VINCENT: ...and creep through the hallways, speaking the maddening truths of eternity into your ear, and drag you between the floorboards into the deepest pits of Hell! [maniacal laughter]
[Pause]
Dr. Seabrooke?
SEABROOKE: [jumps] Yes! Vincent! That sounds terrible!
VINCENT: Oh, you get used to it. After the third bout of involuntary gibbering you find it more a nuisance than anything.
SEABROOKE: I take it to mean that Kenneth still has this cabinet.
VINCENT: Well it belonged to his grandmother, and it has incredible sentimental value, you see.
SEABROOKE: Right.
VINCENT: Not to mention how attached he is to the horrors themselves.
SEABROOKE: The unspeakable horrors.
VINCENT: Yes. Sometimes I’ll offer him a lamp, open the cabinet door and let them scream for the whole weekend. They enjoy that quality time. But every so often one of the horrors will hide away in the larder and give me the most awful fright!
SEABROOKE: I see.
VINCENT: I’m at my wits end, Dr. Seabrooke, and it’s been this way for years. I don’t know whether I just need to accept it or if it’s too late to put my foot down. [pained] Oh, Kenneth...
SEABROOKE: Vincent, I’m very glad you called, and please don’t let it get you down too much; there is hope.
VINCENT: Thank goodness!
SEABROOKE: In any relationship, whether it’s lasted for thirty-seven years or thirty-seven days, it’s important to set and reset personal boundaries. As we grow those boundaries may shift, which is why it’s important to keep the lines of communication open with ourselves and with others about our needs.
VINCENT: Oh, well, I don’t want to cause a fuss, you understand...
SEABROOKE: I understand, Vincent. Conflict is very unpleasant, but if what we’re psychically picking up is accurate, then there’s already been a bit of fuss. Nothing gets resolved if you’re not willing to talk about it.
VINCENT: Yes, I suppose...
SEABROOKE: You’re not asking for Kenneth to get rid of the cabinet.
VINCENT: Heavens no! Those unspeakable horrors are like family to him! In fact, they are his preferred company over the holidays.
SEABROOKE: And that’s all well and good for Kenneth, but the home you share is yours as well. You respect his connection to the cabinet of unspeakable horrors, but you’re entitled to respect in return. Would you think it unfair to ask Kenneth to check the pantry before you return home?
VINCENT: I... suppose that sounds reasonable... Yes. Yes, thank you. That is the right thing to do. It is time that Kenneth and I had a talk. [exhales.]
SEABROOKE: Remember, Vincent; the horrors may be unspeakable, but your feelings aren’t.
VINCENT: Thank you, Dr. Seabrooke. You’ve been a tremendous help. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to attend my cauldron. Tonight I’m making my special ghoulish goulash! [maniacal laughter]
SEABROOKE: Thank you, Vincent. And happy anniversary!
It’s so important that we make sure we’re expressing our feelings to our partners - it helps no one to shut down those lines of communication. Remember, if you can’t talk about it, you’re never going to find a solution to your problem, so sit down, respect your partner and talk.
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SEABROOKE: That’s all we have time for this week, I’d like to thank the Late Alex for the letter, Riley, Greta and Vincent for their calls today, and as always thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.
ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.
Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho
The Late Alex’s letter was written by Hannah Aroni.
Riley was voiced by Rae White, with the call also written by Rae White.
Greta was voiced by Fars Edraki, with the call written by Cassandra Cheung.
Vincent was voiced by Nikesh Murali, with the call written by Miranda Sparks.
The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.
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Up next on the AusEtherial Network, an agoraphobic woman finds her lighthouse home moving to a new place every day in The Far Meridian! Find out more about this great show at https://whisperforge.org/thefarmeridian!
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