Episode 4: Not Your Fantasy
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ANNOUNCER: Around Australia on the AusEtherial network, and across the world online, this is Supernatural Sexuality, with Doctor Seabrooke!
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SEABROOKE: Hello everyone, welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality! I’m your host, Dr Olivia Seabrooke, Join me tonight as I take calls from listeners like you, who have questions about their relationships or sexualities. As always, if you need to talk, or if you’d like some advice, you can call us around Australia for free on 1800 975 711, or internationally via our Geistline service, at SeabrookeOnAir.
It’s been quite a week for me! I ended up travelling to Sydney for a relationship diversity conference, and I was so happy to see a number of fans there! I’m so pleased to hear from you about how many are finding love, or being inspired to communicate better with your partners. It's really recharged me for this week’s show, I’ll tell you that much!
Speaking of which, let’s get to the main part of the show, your calls! We have our first caller on the line. Hello and welcome to the programme Richard, how are you tonight?
KEVIN: [breathes heavily]
SEABROOKE: Sorry Richard, you're not coming through clearly. Can you hear us?
KEVIN: [snickers][faking deep voice] It's Dick, actually. Dick Har--
SEABROOKE: Why don’t we jump straight into your question.
KEVIN: Yeah, alright. I was wondering about your, uh, your carpet – no, wait, I mean your curtains.
SEABROOKE: Uh huh.
KEVIN: Do they, like – you know – match?
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SEABROOKE: Now that you mention it there’s actually an interesting story I could share about the common side effects of dating a Poltergeist. But I don’t think that’s why you’re really on the line with us tonight, is it Dick?
[Pause]
SEABROOKE: In addition to being an audio whiz, my producer Shannon does some pretty thorough screening of all our callers and she seems to think you really wanted some advice on, hm – boyfriend problems?
KEVIN: [mumbles inaudibly, clears throat]
SEABROOKE: Do you want to tell me about him?
KEVIN: Nah, uh... I don’t know, it's nothing...
SEABROOKE: Hey, it’s alright Di— So, you don't have to tell me what your real name, but is there something else I can address you as?
KEVIN: [changes to natural voice] Um, Kevin’s fine.
SEABROOKE: How old are you, Kevin?
KEVIN: Sixteen.
SEABROOKE: Sixteen, okay. Well it's good to have you on the line tonight.
KEVIN: Sure-yeah.
SEABROOKE: I don't know how much you've been listening to the show, but my advice is focused on romantic and sexual relationships between supernaturals and humans. Does that sound like it relates to something going on in your life?
KEVIN: [mumbles inaudibly]
SEABROOKE: Take your time. I know asking for advice in public isn’t always easy, but--
KEVIN: Can cling film really keep you from getting the bite?
SEABROOKE: Uh, I'm sorry?
KEVIN: Like, [deep sigh] my boyfriend said if we wrap everything up in it real tight, nothing can... you know... get through when... you know. So is that actually a thing?
SEABROOKE: So, Kevin, is your boyfriend a--
KEVIN: No, he's a human. But I'm a werewolf. And I know you're not supposed to pass that stuff on to non-supernaturals without, like, getting married first or something. But all anyone ever tells you about how to avoid that is don't bite people. Like-like that's all there is to it. So, my boyfriend said he read online that with the cling film-- if we just cover everything in it, there's nothing to worry about when you... yeah. But I kind of thought if you have to have plastic all over your face the first time you... do anything... It just kinda feels like it'd be weird, you know? So, I guess, how do you...?
SEABROOKE: That's a great question, Kevin. First off though – just to be really clear for everyone listening – cling film is not an effective barrier against STI's or a werewolf bite.
KEVIN: Oh – oh, okay, yeah, I didn't think – I mean, of course that'd be stupid.
SEABROOKE: No, no, it's alright – your boyfriend is on the right track with a preventative barrier, it's just not a great material choice outside of the kitchen. Since you’re mostly trying to avoid teeth-to-skin contact, what I have heard good things about are sport mouthguards. I had a werewolf client in my private practice who said she used the same thing she wore for a game of roller derby – though I’d still recommend additional barrier protection if there's going to be genital contact. Now I know she had hers custom-fit by her dentist--
KEVIN: [horrified gibberish noises]
SEABROOKE: But depending on your comfort there are also boil-and-bite options you can get from a pharmacy or sports store.
KEVIN: Definitely the second one.
SEABROOKE: Just make sure whatever style you use has a snug fit. I'd suggest wearing it around your house first, so you can get used to the feeling of it on your own.
KEVIN: Yeah, okay, that makes sense. Um, I guess I should... go now...
SEABROOKE: Before you do, have you and your boyfriend talked about safer sex options that don’t have to do with the bite?
KEVIN: You mean condoms and stuff?
SEABROOKE: I do.
KEVIN: Ummmmmm... Sort of?
SEABROOKE: If ever you're looking for more information on that front, there are a couple of things I want to recommend before you go. Take a look at a website called Scarleteen dot com. There’s a lot of information on there about sexual health and safety, and they’ve made a real effort to make sure they’re covering those bases for human and supernatural teens. That’s S-C-A-R-L-ETeen. You can also check the sexual health services in your area – sexual health nurses are a great resource, and your conversations with them stay confidental.
KEVIN: Yeah, I might check that out.
SEABROOKE: One more thing – it’s good that you and your boyfriend are talking about these things. Keep doing that. And if talking about sex feels weird or awkward some of the time, that’s pretty common no matter how old you are or what your teeth can do.
KEVIN: Good, ‘cause it feels really weird.
SEABROOKE: Talk about that too. You might find out you two have more in common there than you think.
KEVIN: Yeah, I guess. I mean, I will. Talk. We’ll talk. [pause] Hey - thanks. Seriously. And sorry about the whole...[deep voice] you know.
SEABROOKE: Apology accepted. I’m glad you called.
KEVIN: Yeah. Me too.
SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call.
There are times I’m very glad you’re a psychic, Shannon, it lets me know that whoever makes it through to me does need help! And just quietly everyone, having a producer who knows what’s likely to go wrong does wonders for making a smooth show! I’m very grateful for my... now very blushing producer! Sorry! I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that on air, Shannon.
Let’s go on to the next call, shall we? You’re on the air, go ahead.
MELODY: Hi Dr Seabrooke, my name is Melody.
SEABROOKE: Melody, what would you like to talk about?
MELODY: Well, it’s about my partners. They’re both sea witches and we’ve been in a polyamorous triad for a couple of years now. Though recently they’ve been talking more about all the ‘cool’ sea witch stuff they get to do, like controlling the sea and talking to the moon.
SEABROOKE: And this is something that upsets you?
MELODY: Yeah, I feel excluded. We all connected because I’m a scuba diving instructor and we met by chance one day on the beach ... But that all seems so long ago. I feel like I’m not cool enough for them anymore. So I think... I think I’d like to become a sea witch like them!
SEABROOKE: To be honest, Melody, I don’t think your decision to be a sea witch should be based on wanting to look cool in front of your partners.
MELODY: Yeah I guess not. I just don’t feel interesting anymore.
SEABROOKE: You’re a unique part of this relationship, Melody. Your partners wouldn’t be with you if they didn’t want to be.
MELODY: But I’m boring!
SEABROOKE: Have your partners told you this?
MELODY: No!
SEABROOKE: You’re not boring, Melody. Have you tried talking to your partners about how you feel?
MELODY: No. I don’t want to sound silly!
SEABROOKE: You won’t sound silly. Like I say often on this show, communicating with your partners is important. I suggest talking to them about including you in more conversations about commonalities that you share, like a love of water.
MELODY: That’s true. I always hesitate about communicating, it’s super hard!
SEABROOKE: I understand this is hard, but I think in this instance it will really help. And promise me you’ll put becoming a sea witch on the backburner for now. Changing who you are to be cooler is not a healthy way to solve problems, but becoming a sea witch could be something you discuss with your partners in the future if that's what you really want.
MELODY: I will. Thanks, Dr Seabrooke.
SEABROOKE: Thanks for the call, Melody.
There are so many paths to change in our world, some hard, some easy, but change is something that should come from within you, not because you want to fit in with people around you. This is Supernatural Sexuality, time for a quick break, and we’ll be back after these messages.
Welcome back to Supernatural Sexuality, I’m Doctor Seabrooke, I think we’re ready for some more calls!
Now, Shannon tells me we have a call coming in via the national relay service. So please bear with us as there may be a little dead air in between our conversation, and I will be speaking a lot slower for the relay officer.
Hello, this is Dr Seabrooke! What can I do for you? Go ahead.
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ALEX: Hello, this is relay officer Alex, I’ll be relaying this call to you.
SEABROOKE: Hello Alex! I’m ready, go ahead.
ALEX (AS ANTONY): [pause] Hi Doctor, my name is Antony [pause]. Thanks for taking my call [pause]. I don’t listen to your show because I’m deaf, but people talk about it on the internet and I’m hoping you can help me out. [as Alex] Go ahead.
SEABROOKE: Of course! What can I help you with? Go ahead.
ALEX (AS ANTONY): [pause] Thank you. I pre-typed this, so hopefully that makes this part a bit faster. I’m single, and I’m a minotaur, and I’m having a lot of trouble finding dates. Or, actually, I don’t generally have trouble finding dates, but I do have a lot of trouble keeping them.
You see, everyone thinks of minotaurs as super macho alpha male types, and I'm definitely not that. I’m just a regular guy! I’m not interested in being anyone’s bodice ripping fantasy, you know? I just want to eat at nice restaurants and see fun movies and spend some quality time with someone special. Even in the bedroom, I’m pretty vanilla. I’m not really into domination fantasies or anything. I just wish people didn’t assume I am just because I’m a minotaur.
So I guess my question is, how do I find people who won’t try to force me into a macho stereotype? [as Alex] Go ahead.
SEABROOKE: That’s a good question, Antony, and something I bet a lot of our listeners can relate to. People sometimes make a lot of assumptions about us based on stereotypes of our species. I’m so sorry to hear it’s been happening to you so often!
I think the first thing you can do is be very up front when you meet people to date. Tell them that you’ve been struggling with people making assumptions about your role in relationships, and you want to make sure you’re starting out on the right foot.
ALEX: Uh yeah, hold on, just let me type that out.
SEABROOKE: Sorry, yes, I’ll go slower [pause].
If you are using the internet or apps to find dates, I recommend putting something on your profile about how you don’t want to play the alpha male role, either in or out of the bedroom. Be firm in your boundaries. If someone tries to talk you into something that makes you feel uncomfortable, don’t just brush it off, but be really clear and tell them that what they’re doing is making you uncomfortable. If they don’t respect that, then you know that they’re not someone you want to date.
ALEX: Just a second...
SEABROOKE: No problem.
ALEX: Aaaand cool. Go ahead.
SEABROOKE: In terms of finding the right people... well, people of all species have been trying to figure that one out for thousands of years, and unfortunately, I don’t think we’ve solved that yet.
But that can be as much a blessing as a curse - you might find the right person somewhere you never expected. So keep putting yourself out there, Antony, because you will find someone who appreciates you eventually.
Does that help? Go ahead.
ALEX (AS ANTONY): Yes, it does. Thank you very much. [as Alex] Your caller is getting ready to sign off.
SEABROOKE: Good luck, Antony. Goodbye. And thanks to you too, Alex.
Thank you so much to the National Relay Service for helping us out with Antony’s call, they do such important work, helping us make this world just a little more accessible for everyone, and it’s quite possible that Antony got help he might not have received without them. You can find out more about the NRS at relayservice.gov.au
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SEABROOKE: Well, that’s it for our show this week, I’d like to say thanks to Kevin, Melody and Antony for their calls today, as well as Alex for their services. Special thanks to Shannon Forth, our producer. I’m Dr. Olivia Seabrooke, this has been Supernatural Sexuality. I hope you’ve found something in our show tonight, and I hope your relationships find their way. I’ll see you next week.
ANNOUNCER: Supernatural Sexuality with Doctor Seabrooke was created by Lee Davis-Thalbourne, and produced by Passer Vulpes Productions.
Doctor Olivia Seabrooke is voiced by Mama Boho.
Kevin was voiced by Michael Grisso, with the call written by Andrea Klassen.
Melody was voiced by Leslie Gideon, with the call written by Rae White.
And Alex, our Relay Service Officer speaking for Antony, was voiced by Kess Nelson, with the call written by Erin Kyan.
As a brief note, captioned episodes of this show are available on YouTube, with transcripts available on our website. For those who need or want them, links are available in the show notes.
The Voice of the AusEtherial Network is Lee Davis-Thalbourne.
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Up next on the AusEtherial Network, two Australians take a road trip across America in the pursuit of cryptids and legends in B.S. Cryptid! Find out more about this great show at https://syn.org.au/show/b-s-cryptid.
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